Sequel: Escape the Madness ›
Status: Completed ^-^
Method to the Madness
No More 0074
I wasn’t sure exactly what I was more excited or perplexed about. First, I was purely ecstatic that I had even been able to pass those tests – and “with flying colors” according to the Elder, Grey, I might add – but then there was this new occurrence with Elias that I hadn’t imagined happening in a million years.
A simple kiss… It was something that was more than friendship, but I still hadn’t figured out if it meant more to him or if he was just doing this in the heat of the moment. I surely wished it wasn’t, but if it was just a spontaneous thing, I was hoping that he felt the electric sparks going between us like this.
When his lips first touched mine, I hadn’t exactly been expecting it, but I surely was excited to feel it. My first instinct was to pull away from him, for fear that we might be seen and Crimson would definitely take him off of the mission with her – and for the fact that he had caught me off guard – but I relaxed into him. I didn’t know if I would admit it to him if he asked, but I was greatly enjoying kissing him and his kiss tasted even better than I had ever imagined it feeling… Nope, I definitely wouldn’t tell him that – not until I knew how he was feeling anyway. I didn’t want to be one of those pathetic girls who just proclaimed their love for a boy and he was then dumbfounded by it, not able to return those feelings.
As far as I was aware, I had never kissed – not that I would’ve remembered it since I had lost my memory and Elias had been stingy about information on my love life. I was equally unsure of how often Elias had kissed other girls in our past lives, but I could easily note that he was a good kisser – and I slightly wondered if I was impressing him as much as he was me. My arms were instinctively wrapped around his neck as our lips moved together in rhythm. When he had first leaned into me, I had tensed my shoulders to brace myself (for what, I wasn’t sure) but I relaxed as his lips pressed against mine. In fact, my whole body was completely relaxed and comfortable; I felt like my whole body was numb like I was dreaming. I was so sure that I was dreaming that, behind Elias’s head where my hands were resting to pull him closer to me, I poked one of my nails into the skin of my palm. Nope, I wasn’t dreaming and I felt even more in bliss because of it.
Too soon for my liking, Elias’s lips disconnected with mine. I breathed out in a sigh that I was sure could tell my disappointment – but I was also quite satisfied with this new phenomenon between us that I really couldn’t complain. I panted heavily and avoided looking into his eyes for fear that I wouldn’t see the same satisfaction in his that was evident in mine. My forehead rested against his when I looked up into his eyes and I could see confusion.
“I – I’m sorry…” He whispered to me softly. “I shouldn’t have done that!”
I frowned slightly as he pulled away from him. “No, Elias, it was – “
It was then that I heard that voice that always seemed to haunt me – Crimson’s – and I physically flinched away from Elias. I wondered how long she had been standing there, but if she was present for the long kiss that we had just shared, she didn’t say anything about it.
“0074, we changed our minds.” She told me and I feared that they were suddenly declaring that I hadn’t passed my tests. They couldn’t do that, could they?! “We were going to wait for tomorrow for your naming ceremony, but we want to send you on the mission as soon as possible, so you will be getting your name tonight! Be ready in one hour’s time.”
Then Crimson departed from the waiting area, and when I turned back around to finish what I had meant to say to Elias, he was just as gone. Of course, I should’ve known better than thinking he had wanted to kiss me back too…
~~~
I found my way to my room by myself. My lips were still burning from the way that his lips had been against mine and my fingers were constantly touching them. If I could, I would just rub my lips right off. Maybe it would make it easier to get used to the fact that he didn’t love me like I loved him.
“Hey!” I heard Oliver’s familiar friendly voice call to me as we fell in step with one another. I just smiled him a greeting – a fake one at that, but he went on without seeming to notice right away; if only I could be that lucky… “So I’ve been hearing rumors that you were taking some tests today. Is that real?”
The smile that appeared on my face was a genuine one. If I couldn’t be proud of kissing Elias, at least I still had the tests to be happy for. “I passed!” I cheered, fidgeting again in celebration as I had done with Elias. “I get my name tonight and then Elias and I get to go on a mission tomorrow!”
Oliver was my second best friend, next to my love of course, and I jumped into his arms. He spun me in a circle and we both laughed in excitement. He knew how badly I wanted this, and he was equally as happy to see me achieve it.
“That’s great!” He said, kissing me on the forehead. We were like siblings; from the day we had met we had gotten that strange connection together. “Now, if you’re so happy about that, why are you so upset?” He asked and I rolled my eyes. Of course, I could never get away with any fake emotions around Oliver – Elias? Maybe… But not with Oliver.
I buried my head in Oliver’s shoulder. “Elias and I kissed,” I whispered into his shirt and felt like crying.
“You did what?!” He pulled me away from him and smiled at me. He had known I was in love with Elias before I had even admitted it to myself, so he knew how much I wanted it. “Why do you look so upset about that then?!”
We had made it to my room then and I pulled away to get ready and also hide my emotions from him. I guessed I was supposed to wear the dress that was sat on my bed for me. I didn’t answer him yet, but went into the bathroom and changed into the dress, gathering my thoughts on what I was supposed to say. Did Elias like kissing me back? I wasn’t sure. Where were we going from here? Probably down a path of awkwardness…
Oliver’s eyes widened when I emerged. “You look beautiful!” He told me. “You might look even more beautiful if you’d turn that frown upside down!” He stood up and came towards me, pulling me into a seat on the bed beside him. “Can you please tell me what happened between you and Elias? And then I’ll escort you to your naming ceremony!”
“We just kissed and then he apologized… Simple as that!” I muttered. I wished I had been more prepared for him to turn me down. What was I thinking?!
“It’s not that simple,” Oliver said, rolling his eyes. “I know it’s not that simple because I
think Elias loves you just as much as you love him! Maybe you two just need to sit down and talk to each other about it.”
I shrugged at him, still refusing to look anywhere but the ground. “I don’t think so. He just ran off and I think he regretted doing it.”
Oliver huffed at me and I could only shrug. “Well, I can talk to him for you if you like!” He said, but I shook my head no.
“Fine, I’ll talk to him – at some point – but I have to go to my naming ceremony now. I just hope he’s not there…”
Oliver and I walked there in silence, and he didn’t make a mention of Elias again during our walk or before he left me outside the room that I was supposed to be meeting the Elders in. He wished me luck and I had to go in all by myself…
~~~
The naming ceremony took place in a big hall with a big judging table that the elders sat at, looking down at me. I felt like a tiny person compared to their dark charcoal eyes and menacing gazes.
“0074,” one of the Elders who I wasn’t sure of the name of boomed. “Welcome to our community as a Selva; it is great to present you with your name!”
“Uhh – thanks?” I asked. I just wished we could get this over with and I could go.
One of the younger looking Selvic Elders approached me. She ran a hand in front of my face and I knew this signified my eyes turning uniformly-charcoal like the rest of theirs. When she was done, she smiled at me kindly. “Welcome, Blue!”
And that was it… I was no longer 0074. I couldn’t even be Alyson anymore – Elias’s performance earlier had convinced me that I should give up dreams of holding onto her… No. I was Blue.
A simple kiss… It was something that was more than friendship, but I still hadn’t figured out if it meant more to him or if he was just doing this in the heat of the moment. I surely wished it wasn’t, but if it was just a spontaneous thing, I was hoping that he felt the electric sparks going between us like this.
When his lips first touched mine, I hadn’t exactly been expecting it, but I surely was excited to feel it. My first instinct was to pull away from him, for fear that we might be seen and Crimson would definitely take him off of the mission with her – and for the fact that he had caught me off guard – but I relaxed into him. I didn’t know if I would admit it to him if he asked, but I was greatly enjoying kissing him and his kiss tasted even better than I had ever imagined it feeling… Nope, I definitely wouldn’t tell him that – not until I knew how he was feeling anyway. I didn’t want to be one of those pathetic girls who just proclaimed their love for a boy and he was then dumbfounded by it, not able to return those feelings.
As far as I was aware, I had never kissed – not that I would’ve remembered it since I had lost my memory and Elias had been stingy about information on my love life. I was equally unsure of how often Elias had kissed other girls in our past lives, but I could easily note that he was a good kisser – and I slightly wondered if I was impressing him as much as he was me. My arms were instinctively wrapped around his neck as our lips moved together in rhythm. When he had first leaned into me, I had tensed my shoulders to brace myself (for what, I wasn’t sure) but I relaxed as his lips pressed against mine. In fact, my whole body was completely relaxed and comfortable; I felt like my whole body was numb like I was dreaming. I was so sure that I was dreaming that, behind Elias’s head where my hands were resting to pull him closer to me, I poked one of my nails into the skin of my palm. Nope, I wasn’t dreaming and I felt even more in bliss because of it.
Too soon for my liking, Elias’s lips disconnected with mine. I breathed out in a sigh that I was sure could tell my disappointment – but I was also quite satisfied with this new phenomenon between us that I really couldn’t complain. I panted heavily and avoided looking into his eyes for fear that I wouldn’t see the same satisfaction in his that was evident in mine. My forehead rested against his when I looked up into his eyes and I could see confusion.
“I – I’m sorry…” He whispered to me softly. “I shouldn’t have done that!”
I frowned slightly as he pulled away from him. “No, Elias, it was – “
It was then that I heard that voice that always seemed to haunt me – Crimson’s – and I physically flinched away from Elias. I wondered how long she had been standing there, but if she was present for the long kiss that we had just shared, she didn’t say anything about it.
“0074, we changed our minds.” She told me and I feared that they were suddenly declaring that I hadn’t passed my tests. They couldn’t do that, could they?! “We were going to wait for tomorrow for your naming ceremony, but we want to send you on the mission as soon as possible, so you will be getting your name tonight! Be ready in one hour’s time.”
Then Crimson departed from the waiting area, and when I turned back around to finish what I had meant to say to Elias, he was just as gone. Of course, I should’ve known better than thinking he had wanted to kiss me back too…
~~~
I found my way to my room by myself. My lips were still burning from the way that his lips had been against mine and my fingers were constantly touching them. If I could, I would just rub my lips right off. Maybe it would make it easier to get used to the fact that he didn’t love me like I loved him.
“Hey!” I heard Oliver’s familiar friendly voice call to me as we fell in step with one another. I just smiled him a greeting – a fake one at that, but he went on without seeming to notice right away; if only I could be that lucky… “So I’ve been hearing rumors that you were taking some tests today. Is that real?”
The smile that appeared on my face was a genuine one. If I couldn’t be proud of kissing Elias, at least I still had the tests to be happy for. “I passed!” I cheered, fidgeting again in celebration as I had done with Elias. “I get my name tonight and then Elias and I get to go on a mission tomorrow!”
Oliver was my second best friend, next to my love of course, and I jumped into his arms. He spun me in a circle and we both laughed in excitement. He knew how badly I wanted this, and he was equally as happy to see me achieve it.
“That’s great!” He said, kissing me on the forehead. We were like siblings; from the day we had met we had gotten that strange connection together. “Now, if you’re so happy about that, why are you so upset?” He asked and I rolled my eyes. Of course, I could never get away with any fake emotions around Oliver – Elias? Maybe… But not with Oliver.
I buried my head in Oliver’s shoulder. “Elias and I kissed,” I whispered into his shirt and felt like crying.
“You did what?!” He pulled me away from him and smiled at me. He had known I was in love with Elias before I had even admitted it to myself, so he knew how much I wanted it. “Why do you look so upset about that then?!”
We had made it to my room then and I pulled away to get ready and also hide my emotions from him. I guessed I was supposed to wear the dress that was sat on my bed for me. I didn’t answer him yet, but went into the bathroom and changed into the dress, gathering my thoughts on what I was supposed to say. Did Elias like kissing me back? I wasn’t sure. Where were we going from here? Probably down a path of awkwardness…
Oliver’s eyes widened when I emerged. “You look beautiful!” He told me. “You might look even more beautiful if you’d turn that frown upside down!” He stood up and came towards me, pulling me into a seat on the bed beside him. “Can you please tell me what happened between you and Elias? And then I’ll escort you to your naming ceremony!”
“We just kissed and then he apologized… Simple as that!” I muttered. I wished I had been more prepared for him to turn me down. What was I thinking?!
“It’s not that simple,” Oliver said, rolling his eyes. “I know it’s not that simple because I
think Elias loves you just as much as you love him! Maybe you two just need to sit down and talk to each other about it.”
I shrugged at him, still refusing to look anywhere but the ground. “I don’t think so. He just ran off and I think he regretted doing it.”
Oliver huffed at me and I could only shrug. “Well, I can talk to him for you if you like!” He said, but I shook my head no.
“Fine, I’ll talk to him – at some point – but I have to go to my naming ceremony now. I just hope he’s not there…”
Oliver and I walked there in silence, and he didn’t make a mention of Elias again during our walk or before he left me outside the room that I was supposed to be meeting the Elders in. He wished me luck and I had to go in all by myself…
~~~
The naming ceremony took place in a big hall with a big judging table that the elders sat at, looking down at me. I felt like a tiny person compared to their dark charcoal eyes and menacing gazes.
“0074,” one of the Elders who I wasn’t sure of the name of boomed. “Welcome to our community as a Selva; it is great to present you with your name!”
“Uhh – thanks?” I asked. I just wished we could get this over with and I could go.
One of the younger looking Selvic Elders approached me. She ran a hand in front of my face and I knew this signified my eyes turning uniformly-charcoal like the rest of theirs. When she was done, she smiled at me kindly. “Welcome, Blue!”
And that was it… I was no longer 0074. I couldn’t even be Alyson anymore – Elias’s performance earlier had convinced me that I should give up dreams of holding onto her… No. I was Blue.