Method to the Madness

Over the course of the next couple of days, I’m refrained from doing anything to further injure my hand even though Alyson had started her classes and I long to train more, to hone the skills I’ve already required and add more skills so that I can protect her. It’s a tedious business, having to sit around and watch constantly, although I refrain myself from speaking such words aloud.

When I’m deemed healed enough that I’m allowed to train, I almost scream in joy. Three long, hard days, and I’m ready to do something. Once again, it was Mouse who has come with me, leading me to the infirmary. I guess she doesn’t exactly trust me, but with my track record so far, I can’t quite blame her.

Still, I feel as if she’s been spending too much time with me, and I feel as if I’m betraying Alyson somehow. Today I’m allowed to go back to training but before I do, I go to visit her with a grin plastered to my face. There’s that familiar glint in her eyes as if she thinks she’s known me before, but I keep having to deny her any information on her past life, and the bounce in my step falters just a little.

If she notices, she says nothing. Instead, she raises an eyebrow at me, and I take it as a sign that she’s finally starting to feel comfortable around me again, which is a huge relief. “What are you so happy for?” she asks, though her voice sounds just a little too soft to my ears.

I do my best to ignore it, crossing the room over to her instead of answering. I pick her up to her feet by the waist, an easy task, and then I spin her around, still grinning and I laugh. I can almost forget the boundaries that have been forged by the other Selva recently, and she’s just my best friend again. And as I spin her, I see her smiling and laughing a little too though I know she has no idea why I’ve just come in here and done this.

When finally I let her down, I kiss her cheek, my eyes sparkling. “They’re finally going to let me train again,” I tell her before she can question me. I’m glad no one else is around, or they would have questioned my actions; not that I care much, except I don’t want to get kicked out. “So while you’re training to become a Selva, I’m training to be a full fledged Guardian.”

“That’s great Elias!” There’s enthusiasm in her voice, but it sounds forced and her smile looks tight now. A frown creases between my brows as I gently push ebony locks from her face, cupping her cheek with one of my hands. I know in the past when I’ve done this, she hasn’t been able to keep anything from me, and I’m hoping it’ll work just the same now. I know my gaze on her must be probing, and at least I have the satisfaction of knowing that she’s squirming.

Then finally as I continue, she cracks, her composure and all, and she looks at me with haunted eyes. “How do I know you?” she asks me quietly. “Please, Elias, I need to know.”

This catches me off guard so that I recoil, if only in just the slightest, and my gaze softens. I rake my hands through my hair in frustration, turning and pacing the room. I want to tell her but Crimson has made it abundantly clear I’m not to tell her a word of her past. Then there’s the possibility that she might let something slip or have some negative reaction, and I’m not even sure what I’m going to do at that point.

“Please.” Her voice is barely a whisper and hardly audible, but it makes me flinch all the same.

For the longest time it seems I’m torn then I take her by the arm and lead her to the bed, sitting her down as I hold her hand. “Okay,” I say quietly. “There are a couple of conditions though. First, I need you to tell me that you won’t have some sort of spasm attack or something. Second, you can’t tell any of the others that you know, and you have to keep pretending that you don’t have a clue as to who you are.”

It was the only way I could think of to protect us both, and once she had agreed to those terms, I finally gave a small nod, raking my hand through my hair again. “Well, to be honest, I’ve known you practically since we were born. You’re eighteen, and your real name was Alyson Taylor. You’re the best person I’ve ever known, sweet and intelligent.”

Feeling as if I were getting off topic, I blush, glancing away, then I quickly start up again. “But we’re best friends, and I love you more than anyone else in the world. Like a sister though, not romantically!” I had to be quick to add that part. “I trust you with my life, and you’ve always trusted me with yours. That’s why I’m here now. In order for you to become a Selva…they had to kill you first. When that happened, you lost your memory.” He sighed. “I didn’t care though. I care about you more than anyone else, and I always want to be around to protect you.”