Status: In progress :)
Some Call it Teen Angst, I Think I'm Just Crazy
I've Got My Angry Face On.
Don't mind me, just feeling a little pissy.
Happy fucking new year.
Depression affects everyone differently. Me? I usually feel unreasonably angry at times, and then that's followed by a crushing bout of unbearable sadness and self loathing. I'm in the in between stages right now.
Like part of me wants to throw things and break them. The rest of me just wants to curl up in a ball and cry.
It's just.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why am I never good enough? Not skinny enough. Not pretty enough. Not nice enough. Not outgoing enough. Not brave enough. Not smart enough. Just never enough.
And no ones priority. The fifth of my fathers children he can't put any specific one of us first. Yeah my moms baby but she's kind of a workaholic- work first. Friends I've got but they've got other more exciting friends and they've got happy relationships. Significant others I... Am always second to someone else.
And so yeah midnight strikes and I'm alone on the couch with my phone in hand waiting for the well wishes and barely any come. And then the boy who has been stringing me along reminds me of his love for his ex.
I don't know. I just feel so. Empty and dead inside. Like I don't know what could possibly make this all get better. So I'm sitting here praying to the god I don't believe in that things will be better this year.
Sorry this was depressing...
Happy fucking new year.
Depression affects everyone differently. Me? I usually feel unreasonably angry at times, and then that's followed by a crushing bout of unbearable sadness and self loathing. I'm in the in between stages right now.
Like part of me wants to throw things and break them. The rest of me just wants to curl up in a ball and cry.
It's just.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why am I never good enough? Not skinny enough. Not pretty enough. Not nice enough. Not outgoing enough. Not brave enough. Not smart enough. Just never enough.
And no ones priority. The fifth of my fathers children he can't put any specific one of us first. Yeah my moms baby but she's kind of a workaholic- work first. Friends I've got but they've got other more exciting friends and they've got happy relationships. Significant others I... Am always second to someone else.
And so yeah midnight strikes and I'm alone on the couch with my phone in hand waiting for the well wishes and barely any come. And then the boy who has been stringing me along reminds me of his love for his ex.
I don't know. I just feel so. Empty and dead inside. Like I don't know what could possibly make this all get better. So I'm sitting here praying to the god I don't believe in that things will be better this year.
Sorry this was depressing...