Easy to Fall in Love

"Donia?"

"Donia."

"Donia!"

"What?!" I snapped my head up, sending my dark waves of hair flying.

"Where we dreaming about a certain guitar player/singer again?" asked Lila, my co-worker. I was in the middle of a great daydream, and what else am I going to do on a slow, sticky, sweltering hot day besides dream about Justin Richards?

"It's scary how predictable I've gotten," I sighed and walked around the counter. "I'm going to go do some actual work." I grabbed a new box of books to shelf and slumped over the shelves closest to the fans.

"Good idea." Lila laughed and smiled, her orange curls bouncing. She rung up the purchases of the next customer and chatted them up like they were old pals.

After I finished the first box I heard my phone ring. I looked down and groaned.

"Hi Mom." I answered. "I'm at work right now, I can't really talk." Which was completely untrue; I could have talked here there or taken a lunch break, but let’s be honest—my mother is psychotic.

"Oh. Oh sorry." She sounded distracted. She enjoys vexing herself, so there is a very good chance it's nothing serious.

"Is everything okay?" I decided to indulge her on slight possibility that she wasn't over reacting and she had a real problem.

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine. Just, um, Donia? Do you think you could come over this weekend?" She sounded very anxious, like whenever my grandmother comes to visit. She fluffs and dusts compulsively, just in case my grandma needs a rest, or god forbid, a speck of lint is discovered.

"Are you sure you're alright? You sound weird."

"I'm fine. We just need to talk about something."

"Oh. Okay. I'll try. Bye." I hung up the phone and walked back over to the counter feeling very confused. She's usually so over dramatic and today all the frantic was gone. She sounded bothered.

"What's up?" asked Lila concerned. She furrowed her brow at my own scrunched up face.

"To be honest, I have no idea. Just my mom being cryptic and weird, I guess." I shrugged and grabbed another box.

"Sounds interesting," she commented absent minded to make conversation.

"Eh, probably not." I shrugged again and walked away. She turned to help someone with a question. Sometimes I look back at this moment and gawk at the simplicity of simply not knowing a thing. Being ignorant to possible change in your life doesn't feel bad because you can't feel any pain of what's coming yet. Afterwards, you kick yourself for not noticing it sooner, but how could you. It's an endless circle of suck, and even if it ends happily, you'll never get the wasted time back.

***

I leaned over to ring the doorbell, but the door swung open before I could even reach it.

"Hi sweetie." My mom pulled me into a hug and then leaned back. "Come inside." She forced a smile and put an arm around my waist.

"Okay," I hiked my bag up on my shoulder and stepped into the hall. I felt like I was walking into a trap of some kind. My mom was being waaaaay too nice to me.

"Donia," my mom said when we entered the living room, "This is Auntie May." She gestured to an older woman, maybe late fifties, sitting on the couch. She was very elegant looking with her brown hair laced with silver, all pinned up in barrettes. She donned a long black dress and and shawl that rustled when she stood.

"Hello Donia." Auntie May grasped both my hands, smiling warmly.

"Hi..." I started hesitatingly. I'd never heard much about her, but everything that was said was kept very hush-hush.

"Auntie May came over to talk about your work." I looked at my mother weirdly. I work in a bookstore and there's not much else to it. She shrugged and made an "I don't know either face."

"My work?" I asked confused.

"Could you give us a minute dear?" Auntie May turned towards my mother. She placed a hand on her shoulder and whispered something into her ear.

"Sure." Her eyes darted between us nervously, but she left the room anyway. She slowly shuffled out, glancing back every few seconds.

"Please sit down Donia," she said soothingly and pointed to the seat across from her. Her voice was very soft and melodic.

"Sooo...my work?" I held up my hands and dropped them back into my lap, slapping my thighs.

"I should have worded that differently to your mother. I can see she doesn't feel the same way about what you do as I do." Auntie May smiled to herself and shook her head slightly. "I mean your photography. You like to take pictures, right?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking about pursuing if for a while now." She smiled back at me but her eyes were sad. i could tell she was thinking about something else.

"When I was about your age, I think 24, I discovered my love for painting. It consumed me. Unfortunately, my parents saw no use for it. I was living with them at the time, fresh out of college. They wanted me to start a career, or settle down. That just wasn't for me. I was aching with this hunger. I wanted to see the world, experience things that I'd never been offered before. I wanted to meet boys, have flings, make friends in every country, and above all I wanted to paint. My parents couldn't handle it. So I left home. I started waitress-ing in a small town outside of Birmingham while I figured out what to do. I made some money, then I went to a new town. I kept up this pattern for months, and I can honestly say I'd never been happier. It wasn't as worldly as I had first dreamed, but I was trying new things. I was free, and I never knew where I was going to end up. It was a true gypsy experience."

"Wow." I didn't know what else to say to her. It was something I had always dreamed about doing, but never had the guts for.

"Now there was one thing that always nagged me. My parents did not approve. I had no support, financially or emotionally. They dodged my calls, so eventually I stopped calling. They told me that they'd disown me unless I came home and they were in the process of writing me out or their will. I didn't care about the money, but the idea that they were literally trying to cut me out of their lives was devastating."

"That sucks." I was stating the very obvious,My parents didn't always agree with my life choices, but in the end they were always there for me.

"I'm going to be completely honest here. I'm an older woman, my life is nearing an end. I know it's not tomorrow, but one day it will come. I never had a real family, I put everything into my art. Now I have money, but no one. I cut people off selfishly and wanted to be alone. I need something to believe in, someone to carry on for me. I want you to do this for me Donia."

"I don't quite understand what you're asking."

"I want you to have a great adventure, like me. But I'm going to assist you. You're an artist. You need this, you crave this. I can see it in your eyes."

"Okay. Let me get this straight. You want me to travel the country? I'm sorry if this is news to you, but I can't just take off. I have a life here and a job that I need to do. You know, to pay for stuff? How do you propose I pay for this whirlwind vacation?"

"Don't worry about money. I'll take care of it. I just want to be there for you. You need someone to understand you, for you to come to when you're alone. And I mean alone in the mental sense where you're not sure where you're going with your life. You need that. All people do."

"I don't know what to say."

"Just say you'll consider it." She handed me an envelope and then stood up. "This letter might clear a bit up, I know this is a lot to lay on you." She turned toward the hall and started to walk away. As if it was an afterthought, she suddenly stopped and turned around. "I don't want to force you into anything, please just follow your heart Donia."

I sat in the same spot, dumbfounded. This was exactly what I wanted. I cannot fathom that it's actually an option.

"Is she gone?" My mom poked her head through the backdoor. She said that the same way she would say "is it safe?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

"To be honest, I have no idea."

"What does that mean Donia?"

"Sorry, I can't explain. I just need to be alone." I walked upstairs and into my old room. Now it was a home office for my mom. I sat in the middle of the floor and opened up the envelope. I pulled out two pieces of paper, a credit card with my name on it, a small slip of paper and an even smaller envelope. First I decided to read the papers.

*Dear Donia,

I know you don't know me, but I feel like I know you. I remember being your age and scared out of my mind just thinking about life. Still, I couldn't wait to jump in. In this envelope there's a credit card, for your expenses. I trust you. The smaller paper has my number on it, email, address, and so forth. If you choose to embark on this adventure I want you to keep contact, at least a phone call every other week. The little envelope, I want you to wait to open. If you already did, don't worry. You won't understand it yet. Keep it with you all times. When the time is right, it will be opened, I just don't think you're quite ready. I know I must be a mystery to you, I haven't been around when it mattered. Maybe one day, when we happen to be in the same city, we'll get together for some tea and chat.

I wish you all the love in the world, good luck,

Auntie May*

Who the hell is this woman?

***

"Come in." I called out to the knock on the guest room door.

"Are you ready to talk?"

"Who is she? How is she even related? I just don't understand." I put my head in my hands.

"It's complicated." My mom sat down on the bed next to me. "May never had much of a family, not when your grandma met her. Your grandma felt maternal towards her. She became good friends with the family. She's always been considered related, even if we didn't had blood in common. Then there was a thing. She disappeared after that. She kept in touch, enough to know she was alive, but she stayed away. Until now." I wanted to ask what the thing was, but she had the don't-ask-questions look on her face, so I accepted that answer.

"She wants me to do the trip. What she did when she was my age."

"Oh."

"I want to. But I'm scared."

"Donia, I can't make this decision for you, you're an adult. I can tell you that you and May are very similar. This could help you. If you do choose to do this though, just please don't run. We may not see eye to eye, but I love you. No matter what." She kissed the top of my head and left the room. I sat there and contemplated my decision.

I lay in bed that night for what felt like hours. Auntie May was extending a hand. All I had to do was take it.