Two Kids Stupid and Fearless

So many thoughts were floating through my head, ranging from worries to fears to homesickness and everywhere in between. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Why couldn't I just move to New York and have a perfect life, with my own apartment without a sketchy roommate and a pervert down the hall. Why was the world doing this to me, of all people. The girl with family troubles and anxiety. The girl who with abandonment issues, who is way too trusting and nice for her own good.

I couldn't believe what Eric had told me. Actually, I guess I could. Four hundred really didn't seem like half the rent of an apartment as nice as this, especially in New York and in this economy. Come to think about it, I guess Jack did kind of look like a drug addict. The skinny body, scruffy beard, big eyes. And maybe he was a horny bastard, too. Most guys are, but I didn't see a situation this bad coming from someone as innocent-looking and cute as Jack. I suppose he had been friendly to me, and it was weird to make me live with him. But wasn't that just common courtesy? I guess not. My mom had warned me about the manners of New Yorkers, or lack thereof.

It was then that I felt more alone than I have in my entire life. I had no one. Really. My parents were off partying in Hawaii. My friends had all moved away and gotten married already. And who could I trust? Apparently, the guy I lived with was a nutcase. And the guy who told me that the guy I lived with was a nutcase is a hugely perverted douchebag. I guess I could turn to Rian, but I barely knew him. We weren't friends. All he had done was help me with my stuff. I didn't know where he lived, either. I had Nicole. But she was just a coworker, right? Sure, we got along, but who's to say I can go to her with my feelings? Jesus, just because of this story Eric told me, I was skeptical about everything. Oh god.

I thought about what Eric had said again. 'He's not stable'. And he was on heroin and PCP? I'd heard horror stories about those drugs. One horror story was especially close to my heart.

My older sister, Sienna, had died five months ago from a heroin overdose. That's half the reason I left home. I walked by her room every day. I could smell her berry shampoo, still sitting in the shower, every day. I saw her pictures on the mantle every single day. Hell, some of her clothes were still sitting in the laundry room, waiting to be washed. Then mom and dad left, and I had no one to comfort me or force me to leave the house and do something. So I came to New York.

And now, it's like I'm back at square one. The guy I lived with, the guy who had opened his home to me for way less than half the price, the guy who I was starting to become friends with, the guy I was starting to have a crush on, for crying out loud, had turned out to be everything I was trying to run away from.

Just thinking about it, I could feel my anxiety starting to set in. My heart was beating a mile a minute and I was sweating like crazy. I had this pressure in my chest and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry forever. Oh my god, I had to get out of here. I have to leave, before Jack does something stupid to me, or worse, to himself. I didn't want to get too attached if he were to do something stupid.

I threw most of the contents of my closet into a big suitcase that was still sitting empty on the floor. I filled the rest of it with my kitty blanket and my laptop. I zipped it shut and practically ran out the door. I wasn't even wearing shoes, but I didn't care. I just had to leave.

I was almost to the front door when I heard someone rushing up past me. Jack slid on his socks and came to a stop right in front of the door, almost falling. He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back with a scared expression on his face. "Mia, what the hell is going on? Where are you going?" He demanded.

He peered down to my eyes and I saw his face soften dramatically. "Mia...oh god Mia. Why are you crying? What's wrong?" He reached his arms out and leaned in to hug me but I backed away. I wiped a couple tears of off my face. They were falling uncontrollably now.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed. I didn't think me was home. Oh god, I hope I didn't set him off. I just want to leave. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to get hurt, either.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He yelled back, pushing my suitcase out of my hand and sending it crashing to the floor. He looked angry at me, but his eyes were full of worry.

I laughed humourlessly. "My problem, Jack? I don't have a problem. You're the one with the problem. Many problems actually." I tried to step past him. He pushed me back again. He was skinny, but damn, he was stronger than he looked. Well, as I had learned, I shouldn't judge a book by its over.

"What are you talking about?" He exclaimed, looking exasperated. He gripped his hair in his hands and pulled. Then I saw realisation take over his face. He looked seriously pissed now. He grabbed my arm tightly. "What did that filthy blonde asshole tell you?" I flinched away at his tone. "Tell me right now, Mia. What kind of bullshit did he say to you?" He shook my arm and my whole body trembled with it.

I blubbered something along the lines of 'he didn't say anything' but I figure Jack didn't buy it (or he couldn't understand me because I was still crying pathetically) because he grabbed me by the waist and swung me over his shoulder, just like he had done when I first met him.

I pounded on his back with my fists as hard as I could, but he didn't falter at all. He dropped me on the couch, however this time it wasn't as gentle. He straddled me, knees bent, so he was sitting right on my hips, then pinned my wrists down. This would be extremely hot if I wasn't a crying mess right now.

His peered down at me, not saying anything. The expression on his face was like he had just stabbed a kitten. "I swear to god, Mia, whatever he told you about me is not true," he said forcefully.

"H-he told me you-you were an add-addict," I finally whispered from underneath him.

"Addicted to what?" Jack pushed on.

"S-sex," I choked out. Jack's face turned into a death glare. He looked up and shook his head and bit his lip. He was going to say something but I beat him to it. "And g-gambling and-and dr-drugs," I finished.

Jack squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip on my wrists. His nails were starting to dig into my skin, and I whimpered involuntarily. He looked down at my hands and instantly loosened his grip.

"Mia, I–" he began. He stuttered a bit before I interrupted.

"Save it Jack," I shot back, with a sudden burst of confidence. "I know that my 'rent' is money for your drugs, and that all I am to you is some messed up booty call." I wiped my face and pushed him off of me with strength I didn't know I had. He stood up in front of the couch, fuming.

"THAT STUPID BLONDE ASSWIPE!!!" He screamed, knocking a lamp off the table beside the couch. "He's going to fucking pay," he said evilly. It was thoroughly terrifying. Holy shit, talk about Arab rage.

He looked at me with a scary expression then ran off. I heard the door slam and the whole apartment shook.

Okay, now I really had to get out of here.