I'm What Time and Consequence Have Made Me

I woke up in a panic. Not because of a bad dream or anything, I just simply woke up feeling panicked. A small hiccup sound came from across the room and I smiled to myself as I saw Ringo, asleep on the floor. Groaning as I stretched, I grabbed my phone and checked the time.
6:37pm. I had slept for a good few hours and somehow, I had also managed to sleep through three missed calls and five new text messages. All but one was from Austin. Sighing, I started sifting through the unread messages.
Seven ‘o’clock remember.
Hazel I will burn all your books if you don’t come tonight.
Hazel, if you don’t respond I will come down there and drag you from your house
Please Hazel, it’ll be fun. I promise!
Maybe I should go. After all, Austin was right, I needed to leave the house because the amount of time I spend alone is seriously getting unhealthy now but no matter how hard I thought about it I just couldn’t seem to force myself to make an effort. I sat up, pressing the palms of my hands hard against my face. The truth was: people terrified me. I didn’t necessarily feel awkward around them but I just would never feel like I’m meeting their expectations, I would be helplessly worried that they’ll ditch me at the first chance they got and well to put it short: I just don’t want to make friends and become attached to them because I know that I’ll get hurt.
I looked at my phone again: 6:43pm. I should go. I really, really should go. Within seconds I jumped from the couch and ran upstairs and straight into the shower. By quarter to eight I was ready to go but I was searching my mind for any excuse not to go. It’s too late Hazel. Just go, I told myself and with a deep intake of breath, I stepped outside and headed over to Austin's. He literally lived around the corner from me which was always convenient since we did spend a fair amount of time around each other’s houses.
By the time I reached his front door I was still contemplating turning around and I had to almost force myself to ring the doorbell. Seconds later, I heard someone yell ‘I’LL GET IT’ and then before I had the chance to run, the door swung open and before me stood a lanky boy with a smirk plastered across his face.
“Now you don’t look like a pizza delivery girl.” He said with a wink. And this was a prime example of why I didn’t like to socialise.
“That’s because I’m not.” I replied fifteen seconds too late.
“Uh-uh, I’m going to assume your Austin's friend right?” I nodded and his smirk just stayed stuck to his face. “Now I can see why he never shuts up about you.” He said before turning around and walking back into Austin’s living room and I followed like a lost puppy. What was that supposed to mean?
“Hazel! You came.” Austin said, standing up and suffocating me in a hug. “You’re like an hour late but still, you’re here!”
“Uh-uh, and you’re drunk.” I stated, wiggling my way out of his grip. He smiled and handed me a can of beer. “Got anything stronger?” I asked. If I was going to survive tonight then I was going to need to be wasted.
“You want my whiskey, don’t you?”
“Is whiskey code for dick?” one of the boys asked causing the rest to laugh. I blushed, even though it wasn’t true, comments like that made me uneasy but Austin just disappeared into the kitchen, returning seconds later with his whiskey flask.
I took a swig as soon as he handed it over; grateful for sensation it gave me within seconds.
“How come she gets whiskey and all I get is beer?” whined the tall boy who opened the door.
“Because I like her more than you.” He said causing the boys to whistle. “Anyway, Hazel, this is Jared, Kennedy, Pat, Garret and John. They think they’re cool because they’re in a band.” He said pointing at each of them individually and they all waved or said hi as he spoke their name apart from John, the lanky one who just sat there sipping his beer which he didn’t seem to be much of a fan of.
I sat down awkwardly on the floor beside Austin who tried his hardest to involve me in conversations since he knew how much I struggled with it but regardless, the other guys all seemed to be asking me questions anyway.
“So where are you from? I mean that accent is certainly not American.” Jared asked at some point during the night. I was slowly becoming light headed by now and a new confidence was running through my veins.
“England, I moved here just over a year ago.”
“How come you moved?” asked Garret. “It’s fucking freezing here!”
I laughed, “True but I don’t know, I always thought Alaska was beautiful.” I lied but everyone nodded, accepting it as an answer, expect John who shook his head, smiling a little. I looked at him, questioning him with my eyes but he just shrugged, looking smug with himself. I tried to ignore him but instant paranoia flooded through me. There was a knock on the door and Austin stood up, “That’ll be the pizza.” He said and rushed out of the room.
“So what’s the deal with you and Gibbs?” John asked once Austin was out of sight, taking another sip from his beer.
I shrugged, feeling uneasy by the question. “There is no deal. We’re friends. Well, he’s the only friend I actually have.” John raised an eyebrow.
“Really? Because you two seem awfully close.”
“John, stop attacking the poor girl.” Said Kennedy, punching him lightly on the arm. John smiled, “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Just curious.”
“Why you jealous?” asked Pat.
“Yes, I am so jealous over a girl I have only known for an a couple hours.” He said, his voice drenched in sarcasm.
“You okay?” Austin whispered in my ear as he returned with the pizza and sat beside me again. I nodded not wanting to worry him but he knew me far too well. He settled his beer down on his right and grabbed me by the waist pulling me onto his lap. “I’m sorry if this is too much for you darling, I know you didn’t want to come tonight.”
I shook my head, trying to reassure him. “I’m fine, Austin. Thank you actually for making me come out tonight. I needed to see another human other than you.” His grip around my waist tightened and I could feel him smiling into my shoulder.
“Get a room.” Kennedy joked and Austin quickly flipped him off.
“It’s not like that.” He told them but they all just laughed apart from John. Austin grabbed us a slice of pizza each and I sat taking tiny bites out of mine whilst everyone else devoured their slices in one mouthful. It was like watching feeding time at a zoo and my jaw drooped as I watched John shamelessly eat two slices at once. He chuckled when he noticed me staring at him but continued eating anyway.

“I’m going for a cigarette, anyone care to join me?” John asked, standing up. I don’t know what overcame me but I climbed off Austin’s lap and walked over to John who smiled at me. He had a really nice smile. Pearly white teeth and when he smiled his whole face kinda lit up – it was almost infectious. I followed him outside and almost instantly regretted it. It was so much colder at night and I hadn’t put a jacket on so I stood there shaking crazily. I heard him chuckle from behind me.
“You look like you’re going to freeze to death sweetheart.” He said and I had to control myself from blushing as he called me sweetheart. Unlike the others who were all slurring their words, John’s came out as smooth as the snow around us. Each word sounded better than the last but what the hell was I saying.
He handed me a cigarette and put one in his own mouth. I watched his strong hands light his cigarette before taking a step closer to light mine. We both stood in silent for a minute focusing on the smoke that surrounded our heads. It was John who broke the silence, “You know, there’s something interesting about you but I can’t quite work it out.”
“What?” I asked shocked, turning so my eyes met his green eyes. I took another swift drag but kept my eyes on him, awaiting his answer.
“I don’t know. You’re intriguing to say at least but I don’t understand it. I don’t even know you but I wish I did. That sounds weird.” He laughed nervously at himself. “Forget I said anything. I’m drunk, I don’t make sense.”
I didn’t reply before asked, “Where do you live?”
“Like half a minute from here. It’s just round the corner.” He nodded.
“Why did you really move here?” He asked after we both finished smoking. His question caught me off-guard and I felt nervous.
“I-uh.” I stammered.
He smiled, “It’s okay, you don’t have to answer it I just wanted to know if what you told everyone else was true and obviously, it’s not.”
“I was running away. Not from home, just from-”
He cut me off, “Don’t tell me. You’re drunk and you’ll probably regret telling a stranger your personal secrets in the morning.” He sighed. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable at any point tonight, I’m usually much more of gentlemen, I’ve just had a little too much to drink and well you’re making me nervous.” I was making him nervous? “Let’s go inside before you catch a cold okay.”
I followed him back into the warm house and placed myself back onto Austin’s lap who handed me the whiskey flask which I had completely forgotten about. I took a quick swig from it, desiring to be as drunk as everyone else was because my head was a jumble from the weird conversation I had just shared with John. To say it confused me would be an understatement. Why had I been so ready to tell him all of my secrets? And why did I wish I was still in the freezing cold with him alone?