Status: on temporary hiatus

I'm What Time and Consequence Have Made Me


“What happened to one drink, huh?” I heard Austin mumble seconds after I woke up.
“Ugh.” Was the only thing I could manage to say before pulling the covers around me more protecting me from the freezing air that flooded his bedroom but it was useless, Austin always forgets to close the blinds before he goes to bed so the little daylight we got here was spilling itself into every corner of the room. Huffing, I pulled the covers back off me and looked over at Austin who was propped up on one elbow staring at me with a smug look on his face. My eyes quickly found his bare chest and scanned it. I was used to seeing him wearing nothing but his underwear but each time I couldn’t help but steal a glance. He was attractive, I couldn’t deny that but I felt uncomfortable looking at my friend in that way so I quickly rolled over so I was facing away from him. “I feel like shit.” I told him.
He chuckled and I heard him fumble out of bed, “I’ll get you some pain killers.” He said before disappearing out of the room. How the hell could Austin handle his alcohol that well? My face dug itself into the pillow trying to block out any and all light that flooded the room. This was exactly why I hadn’t wanted to drink last night. Yet somehow, Austin always gets what he wants.
He appeared a minute later with water and pain killers. I sat up and took them both quickly and then looked at him to find him still smirking and still shirtless but I tried to avert my eyes from his body. “How much did I even drink last night?”
“Uh I don’t know I didn’t count but a lot, like maybe on par with me. Do you not remember last night?”
I shook my head, “I don’t understand how you can never forget, like Jesus, it’s impossible to remember anything after drinking that much.”
He shrugged and sat down beside me. “You just gotta drink as much as me and you’ll get used to it.”
“No thanks, I don’t want to become an alcoholic.” I stated and pushed him off the bed with my feet. He groaned as his butt collided with the floor and mumbled ‘bitch’ but didn’t move he just looked up at me with his messy hair sticking up in all different directions.
“Care to fill me in on what I don’t remember?” I asked because I knew there would be at least one story of my stupidity last night. He shrugged though instead of answering me the way I wanted to, “We just talked and stuff last night. You didn’t actually do anything embarrassing except for when you started dancing because that is always embarrassing.” He said laughing but then and the pushed his lips into a thin straight line. He seemed stressed and slightly annoyed and I couldn’t tell if it was me he felt annoyed with for not remembering last night or if he’s just grumpy from the alcohols after effect.
“What time is it anyway?” I asked trying not to think too hard about things.
“Just gone twelve I think. What are you doing today anyway?”
“John said he’d call me but I’ve probably slept through it.” I sighed.
“You’re planning on ditching me today?” He asked with a frown and I shrugged. I had no idea what my plans where today and to be honest, all I wanted to do was sleep with a hangover like this. Groaning as I stretched I decided I should get out of bed and go search for my phone but as I climbed out of bed, I collapsed down on the floor instantly beside Austin. My legs decided that they didn’t want to work and my head was spinning way too much. “Austin I think you may have killed me last night, why did you let me drink that much?”
He laughed but then I felt a gentle hand stroking the back of my hair. “Get back into bed, I’ll get your phone for you and I’ll order us pizza.” I smiled and grabbed onto the hands that he held out for me, allowing him to pull me off the ground and help me back into bed. He seemed almost guilty for allowing me to drink this much and in my entire life I don’t think I’ve ever had a hangover like this before and I have had a lot of hangovers especially since I met Austin because a day did not go by without him drinking. With a small smile Austin headed out of the bedroom for the second time this morning and I was left alone to the pounding of my head.
A few minutes later he returned and crawled into bed beside me. “You still feeling shitty?” he asked as he handed me my phone. I nodded and turned it on. No new texts or calls. That’s good; at least I haven’t missed John’s call. “Well I ordered the pizza so how about we spend the day watching White Collar?” I nodded again and shuffled closer to him, allowing him to wrap an arm around me. On a normal day, I wouldn’t even contemplate cuddling with him because I hated being clingy – especially with guy friends but right now I needed something to sooth me and calm my head from its constant thumping. He switched the tv on and put on season three of white collar which was where we had left off the other week. We sat in silence for most of it, he understood that talking right now would just stress me out even more so we sat there just watching the show.
Half way through the first episode the door knocked. “That’ll be the pizza.” He murmured before lightly wiggling free from me and running out of the room to the door. I decided to pause the episode and wait for him to return but seconds later my phone rang – John.
“Hello.” I said groggily although I was actually happy to hear from him.
“Hi, you okay? You don’t sound too great.” I could hear the concern in his voice and it made me smile slightly.
“Yeah, I just have a really bad hangover.” I told him, fidgeting in bed.
“So does that mean you won’t want to come out tonight?”
“It depends on where ‘out’ is.”
“Dinner.” He said. “I heard about a nice place not too far from here and thought you might want to go.” I contemplated it for a minute before I decided I would be able to manage it. I shouldn’t feel too bad tonight.
“Yeah, I’ll go. What time at?” I asked and I could picture him smiling his perfect smile down the phone.
“Eight? I’ll pick you up.” He said and I agreed before we both said our goodbyes just as Austin returned with our pizza. He kicked the door shut with his foot and got back into bed.
“Who was that?” Austin asked as he took a slice of pizza and started biting into it.
“John.” I mumbled through a mouthful of pizza. “He’s taking me out tonight.” For a second I could’ve sworn Austin looked disappointed but then again disappointment wasn’t really a look I was used to seeing on Austin so I shrugged it off as he grabbed the remote and pressed play again but I quickly decided I’d just pictured it. Austin wouldn’t be upset that I’m ditching him to spend time with John would he? After all, it’s thanks to Austin that I even met him and he’s always been pressuring me to hang out with more people. I pushed the thought from my head and grabbed another slice of pizza and focusing back on the show.
“Hazel?” said Austin a couple hours later.
“Mhm?” I responded whilst my eyes stayed focused on the tv.
“Are you doing okay?” he asked pausing the tv so he had my full attention. I groaned in annoyance, the episode was just getting good.
“Yeah, my head doesn’t hurt as before.” I told him as I reached over to get the remote from him but he instantly moved it away.
“That’s not what I meant.” He sighed. “You really don’t remember anything from last night? Like nothing you said at all?”
I froze and felt a sudden wave of panic flood over me. Fuck, what had I said to him?
“Hazel.” He whispered but I shook my head and sat up slightly.
“No, I don’t remember anything.” I looked at him. “What did I tell you?”
He frowned a little and then spoke, “Nothing Hazel, it doesn’t matter.”
“Austin you brought it up, you can’t just blow it off now. Tell me.” I whined although really I didn’t want to know what I had said.
“You told me that…” he sighed and bit his lip before continuing, “You were talking about your parents and how they used to treat you and how unhappy you used to be and then I asked you if you were happy now and you just stared crying and you wouldn’t stop crying until I carried you to bed.” I looked at him and I could tell him looked worried. How could I have been such an idiot last night?
I sighed and started shuffling out of his bed, “I should probably go.”
He grabbed my wrist, stopping me, “Please don’t. Hazel, I’m worried about you.” And I knew he was. Austin was usually a carefree kinda guy, he didn’t worry about anything at all apart from his beer and pot but this was a whole different look. He seemed stressed and genuinely upset by what I had let slip last night but for some reason I felt guilty making him worry.
“Don’t be. I’m fine.” I reasoned with him but he still didn’t drop my wrist.
He frowned at me finally before dropping it. “You know I’m always going to be here for you, right?” I nodded and started scrambling around the room for my clothes. I didn’t want to be in this house anymore. As much as I felt bad for giving Austin the cold shoulder when he was worried about me, I just couldn’t bring myself to talk about the things like this and if I left then maybe he would forget about what I had said.
By the time I got home I felt a lot better despite what had just happened. I’m guessing the food helped with that and also the amount of times I fell asleep during White Collar must’ve helped too. Once I was home I quickly pushed aside mine and Austin’s conversation and rushed upstairs to shower and get dressed. I tried my hardest to push the thought of the previous events from my head and focused solely on the upcoming dinner which seemed to perk me up a little since I knew that in a couple hours I would be able to seen John again. Fuck my attachment rules; I didn’t want to shut myself away from him anymore.
♠ ♠ ♠
this chapters kinda lame but i like the next two chapters, they're a lot better.
enjoy polly since you keep nagging me to update~