Before He Cheats

Right now, he's probably slow dancing
With a bleach blond tramp
And she's probably getting frisky

Ashley and I were not the perfect fairytale couple that everyone dreamed of. We had more flaws than everyone else and we still do. Lately we had been fighting a lot more and he would always come home late smelling like whiskey and women's perfume. The whiskey didn't bother me, it was the other smell that did. He was a manwhore before we got together and I'm betting that he still is.

Right now, he's probably buying
Her some fruity little drink
'Cause she can't shoot whiskey

I sat in the dark living room just waiting for him to arrive. The clock told me it was way past midnight and I tapped my foot on the floor. That's when I heard a key click into the lock and the door came open. Ashley was standing there with his leather jacket in his hands.
"I see you came home late... again," I grumbled when he flicked on the light and he literally leaped in the air.
"Andy, I didn't know you were awake..." he squeaked.

Right now, he's probably up behind her
With a pool stick
Showing her how to shook a combo
And he don't know...

"Ashley I'm awake every single damn night." I growled. His eyes widened and I watched as he pulled off his cowboy boots. He set them by the door and my gaze continued to pierce into me.
"I'm sorry babe, it won't happen again," he mumbled and I just shook my head and cursed under my breath.

I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat

I laid on the bed wide awake. I could hear Ashley's slow breathing beside me. He had his arm wrapped around my waist and he held me close to him. I still could smell the perfume on him. I wouldn't take much more of this. He's been cheating on me for a while now. I just have to find a way to prove that he is...

I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

Ashley shifted in his sleep and I heard him mutter something that surely didn't sound like my name. I rolled my eyes and rolled around to where my back was facing him. I couldn't face him at all. He had just tore our entire relationship apart.

Right now, she's probably up singing
Some white-trash version of Shania karaoke

The next night came and Ashley was gone again. I had finally decided that enough was enough. I pulled on my leather jacket and grabbed my bat. I also grabbed the keys to Ashley's truck because I was going to need them for what I was about to do. I walked out of the apartment and down to the parking lot before climbing into my car and driving to Ashley's favorite club. The exact same one where he met me...

Right now, she's probably saying, "I'm drunk,"
And he thinks that he's going to get lucky

I walked down the street to a nearby parking garage. Ashley always kept his truck there when he went to the club that was three blocks away. I pulled out my key and I walked over to his black truck. The paint job on it was nearly perfect and I knew how much this truck meant to him.

Right now, he's probably dabbing on three dollars
Worth of that bathroom Polo
And he don't know...

I held the silver key in my hand and with a wicked grin I traced it along the edge of the driver's door. It scratched up the paint job and I knew that he was going to be pissed about it later, but right now I really don't fucking care.

I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat

I unlocked the truck and reached over into my car and pulled out the small knife that I carry around for protection. I glanced over at the leather driver's seat and I opened the blade of my knife. I pushed it agains the leather and slowly carved my name into it. That sure as hell won't make him forget.

Took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slash a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

I pulled my bat out of my car and smashed the driver's window and both the headlights. I put multiple dents in his truck and pulled out my knife once more. I put holes in all of his tires, including the spare that he has. Ashley should know that I hated being cheating on and he knew that I was going to get revenge.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl
'Cause the next time that he cheats

I walked down to the club and sure enough when I walked inside he had his arms wrapped around some plastic blond. She kissed him and I watched as he kissed back. I felt anger run through my body and I started walking towards the couple.

Oh, you know it won't be on me
No, not on me...

They pulled apart for a moment and that's when Ashley's brown eyes found mine. He pushed the blond away from him and stared at me in shock.
"I knew it," I said looking at him and shaking my head.
"Andy... It's not what it looks like," he stuttered.
"Ashy, who is this guy?" the blond asked looking at me.

'Cause I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat

"You could do better than him," I said dropping Ashley's keys into his drink.
"When you get home, get your shit out of my apartment or I'll put it outside for the neighbors to pick through," I said to him and walked off.
"Andy!" he shouted and I turned around to look at him.
"What?" I asked.

I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

"Please don't do this," he begged staring at me with his big brown eyes.
"I don't like cheaters, Purdy," I growled at him.
"She's just a friend," he insisted.
"Bullshit," I said turning away and walking off without another word.
He should have thought before he cheated on me. He doesn't know what he's going to miss...

Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, before he cheats
Oh...