In Your Room

Let me in your room,
I've seen the rest of you

Ashley and I had been together for almost a year. We were very happy together and we hadn't had any issues at all with our relationship. Well I had one problem... For the year we've been together, I've never been over to his house. He always crept through my bedroom window at the late hours of the night, but I had never seen what his room looked like.

But I know there's something more in your room,
I'm right outside your door,
Show me things you've never shown before

I felt like he had been hiding something from me since he was always secretive about that part of his life. We'd literally shared everything with each other, but there were some tender subjects that he refused to talk about. Some of the smallest things could set him off really.

A few pictures from your past,
And those walls you painted black

"Hey babe," Ashley said kissing my lips softly after he had climbed into my window.
"Hello, Ashy," I said sitting up and hugging him tightly.
He smiled his amazing smile at me and crawled into the bed next to me. His arms wrapped around my waist tightly and he held me close to him.
"I love you," he whispered softly.
"I love you too," I said smiling at him.

And the secrets that you keep under the bed,
All you have to do is let me in your room

We talked softly for a few minutes and I whispered to him, "When do I get to lay in your bed? I'd love to see where you sleep when you're not here."
He bit at his lip and watched me with wary eyes. "You will soon," he whispered.
"When is soon, Ashley?" I asked him.
"I don't know..." he said not looking at me.

You can be yourself,
You don't have to hide from me, I won't tell

"What do you have to hide? We've been together for a year and you know everything about me. Why can't I know everything about you?" I asked him softly.
"Andy, you know how everyone has been to me ever since I came out as being gay. I don't trust people very well..."

I know everyone you've ever trusted let you down,
And you don't want to come out,
And show me, show me

"I won't let you down, Ashes. If I ever did that then I'm not good enough to be your boyfriend," I said holding his hand and intertwining our fingers.
I leaned over and kissed his lips softly before staring at his brown eyes once more.
"Please? I feel so distant since I know not very much about you," I whispered.
He sighed and nodded his head.

A few pictures from your past,
And those walls you painted black

Ashley fumbled with the keys to his apartment. He pulled them out of his pocket and dropped them as he tried to unlock the door.
"Dammit," he muttered picking them back up and looking at me.
"You're acting like you're trying to hide a dead body, love," I sighed and he unlocked the door.

And the secrets that you keep under your bed,
All you have to do is let me in your room

The door opened with a squeak and he took my hand and pulled me into the apartment. It was really nice and the room smelled like peppermints.
"You were hiding this place from me? Why did you think I'd hate it?" I asked him, but he had already wandered into another room.

You know every part of me,
I let you in, I let you see

Slowly I crept down the hallway and I could see Ashley standing in one room by himself staring down at something in his hands. The door was slightly ajar so I pushed it open and he looked up at me in surprise. When I walked into the room I was almost amazed.

All the dark and every color of my room,
Let me do that for you

The room was very large. One side of the room was painted white while the other side was a midnight black. A large bed with black sheets sat up against the wall and there was a small bookshelf lined with pictures and novels. This was something I'd never expect from Ashley. This was the room I had waited to see for ages.

And tell me about your past,
Why you painted those walls black

He stared at me and I smiled at him.
"Why did you want to keep this place from me?" I asked Ashley with a soft voice.
"I didn't want to show you everything about me until I was sure that I loved you and you loved me," he said before walking across the room and pulling something our from up under his bed.

Baby, it's alright, you're safe in here with me,
Open up so I can see

He placed a small wooden box on the bed and he flipped it over. Paper and pictures scattered across the blankets and I walked over and picked one up. I had grabbed one of the first pictures of Ashley and I. Smiles were spread across our faces and his arms were wrapped around me.

A few pictures from your past,
And those walls you painted black

The two of us picked through the pile and I was surprised that he had kept some of this stuff for so long. He even still had the ticket stub from the first time we went to the movies.
"Why did you keep this?" I asked him.
"I feel something special with you. I want to hold all our memories dear so everything I kept had some importance to me," he said smiling.

And the secrets you keep under your bed,
An unopened letter from your dad

My fingers fell across an envelope and I picked it up. There was sloppy handwriting scrawled across it and I saw that the letter had never been opened.
"What's this, Ash?" I asked him.
He took the letter from my hands and sighed. "This is the last letter my dad wrote me before he left," he said and stared at the yellowing package.
He placed his fingers on the seal and I grabbed his hand and said, "You don't have to open it now if you don't want to," I said.

A poster from your favorite band,
It doesn't matter I'll take every part of you,
All you have to do is let me in your room

We lay in his bed side by side. His arms wrapped around my waist and I just stared at his chocolate brown eyes.
"Thank you for showing me what I've been missing," I said smiling softly.
"You're welcome, Andy," he whispered kissing my forehead gently.
I smiled and snuggled closer to him.
"I love you, Ashley," I whispered shutting my eyes.
"I love you too, Andy. More than I could ever realize," he said softly.
Now that I know what he's been hiding then I feel a lot closer to him.

Let me in your room,
Let me in your room