Phobia.

“Keira!” She squealed, her practically taloned hands wrapping around my wrists and pulling me into the street. Her dark eyes almost manically wide.

“How are ya?” Her high clipped accent making me wince, trying to hide it. “Oh my gosh I haven’t seen you in forever!”
That was kind of the point.

“Hey Harleen.” I grimaced, wondering why the fuck she was so happy when everyone in the city had just been threatened with a nuclear device. She smiled that stretched smile at me, her teeth all very white and very straight. “Why are you...” I dropped it, her head tilting sideways, chattering onwards, letting her pull me through the panicked crowds.

“So, what have you been up too?”

“Are you serious?” I asked, finally tearing my arm from her, “Harleen have you not just heard the fucking explosion?!”

“Harley.” She said stiffly, “It’ Harley now.”
She stormed off after a long piercing stare, hair in a ponytail bouncing on her back, heels treading hard into the floor.

A trainee psychiatrist the first time I had met her, working under my brother.
Doing other things under my brother.

As far as I was aware she was one of the few still at Arkham, one of the few to deal with the shell left of the Joker.

I only gave myself a minute to react, to wonder, to worry about her.
Why she was here.

But then it turned to Blake and I found his name on my phone quickly, dialing it.
It was busy, out of service.

I swallowed hard.

I tried again, hearing hard breathing before he answered “Blake?!”

“I’m heading to the hospital, I’m bringing him to the apartment, stay there!” I bit my lip and I heard him take a hard turn, understanding my silence, “You’re not at the apartment are you?”

“I’m downtown, I went to get money.”

Again ignoring what had just happened, even though the flames and smoke still billowed from the sewers, people still ran, screaming, panicked down the road.

“I’ll make my way back.. but the buses and that I’ll.”

“Get out of downtown, when I have Gordon... avoid people and avoid attention, we’ll come and get you from somewhere.” I went to reply but the phone cut off, he was annoyed.
Understandably.

I began to weave my way through the crowds, some people already angry, fighting, others running.
Some seemed unbelieving.

“Times like this we need Batman!” A man shouted to his friend, shoving me and causing me to glare at him.

But he was right, where was Bruce? What had Bane done to him?
My eyes met Harleen’s once again.

I chewed the inside of my cheek, feeling uncomfortable, unnerved.
I needed to be away from her.

I kept my head down, feet pounding against the concrete as I hopefully blended in with the crowds, losing them down an alleyway and making my way towards Blake’s, at least a four mile walk.

My shoes began to rub one toe, a gentle sting that grew as I continued to walk, the panic seeming to reside in the more residential areas. In fact they were almost empty, people had gone home, locked themselves in, no doubt glued to the news.

The phone rang eventually and I slapped it to my face, “I’m with Gordon, where are you?” I glanced up, scanning the area for a street sign, “Maple street.” I sighed, “It’s more of a residential area.” I heard discussion.
“Gordon says get to twenty third and we can get you, it’s about four blocks east.”

“Fine, give me about ten minutes.”

“Alright, hurry up, we’re not safe being on the streets.”

I glanced down, seeing a white van pull up, someone pulling some expensive looking electrical goods from the back.
People were already looting.

“I guess not.” I replied curtly, pressing the red button and ending out call, picking up my pace as I headed in the right direction, letting out a breath of relief when I see a strangers car but with familiar faces in the front.

The road was empty as far as I could see, and at points Blake had to weave around abandoned cars to reach me.

“Why can’t you ever just stay in the goddamn apartment?” He complained, offering me a grim smile, Gordon turning, wincing in pain but doing the same.

“That’s hardly the most important thing right now is it?” I bit, sliding and sitting back heavily, the car moving slowly, making its way back towards Blake’s as he played with the radio, catching the President’s address.

The world must have gone mad, the largest city in America, sprawling further even than Metropolis was being held hostage.

Sadly I already expected what I would hear before I heard it myself.

“The people of our greatest city are resilient. They have proven this before, they will prove this again. We do not negotiate with terrorists, but we do recognise realities. As the situation develops, one thing must be understood above all others... People of Gotham, we have not abandoned you.”
Lies.

“What does that mean?” Blake asked, his naivety obvious.

The Government never helped, and there was no way America would risk worse to save Gotham.
“It means we have to save ourselves.”

“It means we’re on our own,” Gordon agreed, “I have to get in front of a camera...”

“Sir, they’ll kill you the second you show your face!”

I nodded quickly from the back of the car but Gordon continued.

“The Mayor’s dead. I’m the symbol of law and order. Bane says he’s giving Gotham back to the people - they need to know that I could lead.” I swallowed hard.

“Gordon....” Blake cut me off.

“Bane’s not gunna let that happen.”

“Then he’ll show his true colours.”

“And you’ll be dead.” I swallowed deeply, except for the last week I had never envisioned Gordon dying, after everything he seemed indestructible.

“No-one is going to turn against him now, not when he has the city on lockdown.” I sighed, leaning forward between the two seats, “You need to stay hidden, he’ll be attacking anyone of status.”

“You’re really gunna lecture me about staying out of trouble?” He teased, causing my mouth to curve upwards.

“We’ll stay at mine tonight, but we really to avoid attention until we can get you somewhere safe and in front of that camera you want...” Blake cut in, his voice demanding, strict. I nodded, sinking back into the uncomfortable seat.

“What were you downtown for?” Gordon asked after a few minutes silence, coughing into his hand.

“I got some money from Jonathon’s bank account.”

“Pretty sure if Bane has his way that money won’t be needed, we saw people looting already.” I bit the inside of my cheek.

“I saw that too.”

No-one spoke until we were outside Blake’s apartment building, hoods up, Gordon leaning on me as we entered and moved to the graffitied lift. Blake’s jaw was tense, eyes not moving from the door and as soon as the lift chimed to a stop he moved, unlocking his door and waiting for us to step in, helping me place Gordon down on the couch.

“You want anything?” I asked instantly, already on the way to the kitchen to bring him water. He only asked for what was in my hand and I passed it to him wordlessly.

He was asleep in minutes, head dropping back against the cushions.

I took a shallow breath before rushing to Blake, shocking him as I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck, flinging my body into his. His lips met my ferociously, hands wrapping around my hair, all the worry, panic sinking as long as my lips were pressed to his.

But then we had to pull apart, “What happened earlier?” I asked instantly, and he rubbed the back of his neck, sitting heavily on his bed, me mimicking his movement, pulling my legs under me.

“I was at one of the plants, saw the same guy that blocked the way at the stock exchange, he pulled on me and I...I shot him and another guy.” I slipped my hand on his leg, seeing the pain on his face, the disgust.

“I have never shot anyone before.” I sucked on my lip, knowing there wasn’t anything I could say to appease him, no way to remove that act from his life.

He had done it now, killed someone.

The first time is the worst.
I swallowed, the bitter seed opening within me.

He spoke first, “They’d be mixing the cement with explosives, and through all of Daggett’s plants been re-doing the sewers with it. And...when the policemen were down there, my own stupid idea they blew. They’re trapped.”

“But that’s pretty much all of the police in Gotham.” He nodded regretfully. “Shit.” I let a few minutes pass, waiting until he untensed gradually. “What are we going to do with Gordon?”

“We’ll stay here tonight, move in the morning.”

“Move where?” He shrugged,

“Wherever we can, we’ll plan in a bit, I’m starved.”

I agreed, letting my head rest on his shoulder, “I got money for food.”

“I don’t want you going outside, stuff is going to get bad.”

“Stuff’s always been bad, it’s just been hidden away the last eight years.”

“There was no nuclear bomb before, and there was Batman.” I felt my stomach drop at the mention of him.

“Well, until we work something out, plan, we can’t change anything. We can’t change anything right now.” I stood, turning and pressing my lips to him again.

“When did you get so wise?” He teased, following me into the small kitchen, our voices low to avoid waking Gordon.

“I’m just used to being in shit situations.” He sent me a look full of pity which I brushed off, my stomach churning as I worried about said shit situation. It involved Jonathon...

He’d hinted, hinted at Bane.
And with Bane in control... I didn’t want to think about it, I had to follow my own martyred advice.

“What food do we have anyway?”

“Shit loads of pasta.” I clicked my tongue,

“Pasta is it then.”
_______________________________________

The night passed slowly, once the meager meal was done we woke Gordon, ate, staring at the small television screen as the President addressed the country once more, as they had specialists talk about the bomb, the dead scientist Pavel.

Gordon began to drop off again, “Jim, go to bed.” I urged.

He shook his head, “I don’t want to be a bother.” Blake rolled his eyes, “And I won’t be convinced!”
“Fine,” he almost huffed, “I’ll get you some more pillows.”

“I just don’t want to be a bother son.”

“He’s put up with me he can deal with you.” I told him, heading into the bathroom to use the toilet and wash my face.

A dark thought hovered.

“He wants me, he wants me.” I hissed to myself, pushing it back.

Now, of all times, I could not afford to be self obsessed.

My mental issues would have to take a back seat to real once, I smirked at myself, heading back into the apartment, the television off, and all lights apart from the lamp beside Blake the same. I pulled my clothes off quickly, accepting an old Police training shirt from him and clambering into bed.
I may have went to bed feeling fairly pleasant, his arm slung over me, his breath tingling the back of my neck but I barely slept.

The enormity of today suddenly hit me and I could no longer push it could, could no longer force jokes.

Unless something happened we were all going to die, Gotham was going to be vaporised.
Every time I shuffled, moved position I knew Blake was awake, but we avoided eye contact, we didn’t want to speak.

Instead I spent most of the night awake in silence, my stomach in knots.
Only the gentle snoring from the exhausted Commissioner kept me sane.
___________________________________________

Yet again I was awake early, and so was everyone else.

Bane had announced he would be talking on the news outside Blackgate Prison...where Jonathon was, where Selina was.

I was unnerved, only imagining what he would do.

What he did was so much worse.