Smoke and Ashes

I followed Andy out the door and back into the car.

"I want to talk about what happened between us." Andy said after he had pulled out the drive way and started going down the road.

"There's nothing to talk about. You obviously don’t have the same feelings for me that I had for you."

"Ash, it's nothing like that…"

"Then what is it like?!" I yelled cutting him off.

"That’s what I want to talk about. There's something that you need to know about me. Honestly I should have told you this a long time ago."

"I'm listening." he took a deep breath before starting. This was apparently something that he had never told to anyone else.

"I have trust issues because when I was younger there was this girl named Rene that I did trust. When I first started high school, I didn’t have any friends. No one liked me. I was everyone's favorite punching bag. Well everyone...except for Rene. Rene was the only one to stand up for me. She would always stay by my side no matter what. When the other kids would make fun of me, Rene would threaten to kick their asses. She would be the one to tell me that everything was going to be ok and she wouldn’t let anything happen to me. When they would physically abuse me, Rene would clean me up and hold me until the pain went away. We started dating. I thought she was the only one for me. There couldn’t be another person on the face of the Earth that I could ever love more. So I told her that I loved her and that she meant the world to me. You wanna know what she did?!"

He said that last part with anger and hatred in his voice. All I could do was sit there with a scared expression that I was sure was plain to see on my face. I couldn't make my own voice work, but luckily I didn’t have to before he continued on with his story.

"She got out her fucking phone and told me to say it again while she recorded it. I thought she was being sweet and wanted to remember this moment, so I did as she asked. She stopped the video and called one of her friends and told them, "Yea, he said it...I know right! I can't believe he fell for it! He is such a dumb ass!" Rene laughed at me with her friend. I was so pissed, that I couldn't decide if I wanted to cry or kill her. Instead I walked away. I left school early that day. Unfortunately, I had to go back the next day. By then word of that event had traveled through out the entire school along with the video. I went out side by the gym and punch the damn brick wall until my knuckles bled. When the blood stopped flowing, I sat down with my notebook and started writing song lyrics. From that day on, I wanted to form my own band. As you know, I did. I guess that’s one thing I have to think her for."

I sat there for a few minutes in silence.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea…" I told him in a low voice.

"The only person I had ever had feelings for and told 'I love you' too, betrayed and abandoned me. I swore to never tell anyone I loved them ever again and I would never fall for another woman. I came out as a gay."

"I'm so sorry…" I wanted to do something I wanted wrap my arms around him and tell him all the right things that would make it all perfect again, but I knew that there was nothing that could be said.

"What do you have to be sorry for? I'm the one that should be sorry. I told you I loved you and took it back, causing you serious pain all because I cant get the fuck over what happened 7 years ago." He's 21 now so I started doing the math in my head.

"7...So you were 14 when all this happened?"

"Yea, why is that important?"

"It's important because 7 years ago was the same time that I had been made fun of for cry all the time after loosing my mother."

We sat in silence, neither one knowing what do say to the other. Before to long we were back at house.

"I want us to be friends again. I want us to always be able to talk again. " Andy said after turning off the car.

"I would really like that." I replied with a smile spend across my face. "I just want to take things slower this time though. I want a chance to actually be friends before we jump into things like last time. Maybe we'll be able to open up to each other and trust one another more." I told Andy.

"I would like that a lot." he replied still smiling. "I only request one thing."

"What's that?" I asked, fearing for the worst.

"I don’t want you alone with Kainan…"

"Why not?!"

"Calm down and think about it. All of this happened when he was around, plus there something...strange about him. I mean he serves Satan for crying out loud!"

"Not anymore!" I yelled. I quickly regained myself and calming back down. "After we left Hell, he left Satan. Don't get me wrong, he's no Meg, but he's not an Auto either…"

"Still, at least till we can figure out what's wrong, don't do it."

"Ok." I said giving up.

"Thank you."

We walked inside. Andy awkwardly walked around the living room. It looked like he was trying to figure out where to sleep.

"Come on. You can sleep with me… I still can't sleep well when I'm alone."

Without arguing we walked up stairs and into my bed room. I was already in my sleep clothes so I just climbed in bed. Andy, who was in denim jeans and a leather vest, removed both articles of clothing, leaving him in nothing but his boxers, and climbed in bed with me. He put his left hand under my side and his right on my hip.

"Do you mind?"

I knew he was wanting to wrap me in his arms and right now I could really use that, so I nodded my head. He secured his arms around me and we were both out in seconds.