Untitled

Chapter Two- The Beginning of the End

"Why are you doing this to me?!"

"Doing what?!"

"This! Don't you love me?!"

"Not right now, no!"

"FINE! Then I'll leave!" I screamed, before I walked out, slamming the door.

Austin and I had yet ANOTHER fight. This one was probably the worst one we've ever had. Ya know what? He started it, though. I went on the bus, and he asked me about the slut that hit on me when we got offstage. He was jealous, of course. I mean, I would be, too. But, I told him that I didn't want her. She came on to me. Did Austin believe me? No. He started yelling, and then I started yelling, then I got fed up and stormed out.

I walked out to my car, then got in and started driving. Where? Anywhere but here. That was good enough for me. I just needed to get away from Austin. Don't get me wrong, I love him more than anything. I just need time to get over the fight. You see, this always happens.

Things get said, we fight, then one of us leaves the bus for the night, usually bunking with one of our touring friends, but I really don't feel like being around people I know right now. Where's the nearest hotel?

I drove, taking whatever turn came my way, quickly getting lost, and frankly, that was fine by me. I needed a change of scenery. When I'm pissed off, I don't want to be around people.

I sighed. Why does Austin have to be like this sometimes? It only causes fights. Doesn't he realize that? Needless to say, I love him anyway....but, why? Am I really questioning why I love my best friend, my boyfriend of four years, the guy I will stand by til death? Yes, yes, I am. He's the nicest person on the planet, except when you piss him off, which, I guess, is what I do all the time, even if it's not intentional.

But, is it really my fault all the time? It has to be his fault, too. It just has to be. Cause if not, then I'm just a big fuck up...a fuck up that doesn't deserve a perfect human being like Austin Carlile.

Why is he even with me? I never understood what he saw in me. I wouldn't touch me with a 50ft pole. I'm such a sad, sorry excuse of a human. Why did Austin love me? Well, in my defense, I guess you can't really choose who you fall for. And, we're best friends. We've been best friends for years, always inseparable. I guess it made sense that we'd fall for each other.

But, really, though. Why am I talking to myself?

You know what? I don't know about myself anymore. I think I've gone crazy. I've hopped on the fucking crazy train a while back, I guess.

Maybe I should get myself checked out.

Nah.

No. Maybe I should break up with Austin. I love him, with all my heart, but you know the saying. "If you love him, let him go..." It'll break his heart. It's already breaking mine, and I didn't even do it yet, but it has to be done. I'm causing him so much pain, and I went fucking crazy, so it has to be done. I'm no good for him.

It's decided, then. I'm going to go break up with him.

I turned around, and began driving home; well, at least I think I was going the right direction. Oh, well. I'll find it eventually. While I was driving, I turned on the radio. That Paramore song, The Only Exception, came on. I began to sing it, getting lost in the words.

"When I was younger, I saw............" I sang to myself, merging lanes.

A moment later, a car came out of nowhere and hit me, head on collision. I had time to think of one thing, the only thought that's ever in my mind........Austin.

"You are the only exception...."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sat on the couch, still reeling from the argument I had with Alan. Okay, no, not argument- fight. These fights happen often. In fact, they're daily. You're probably asking yourself, 'Why do you even bother to stay if all you two do is fight?'

Well, let me tell you in the simplest way I could- I'm in love.

'But, all you two do is fight.'

Yes, I know. But, fighting is just, something we do. It's how we show we care. It's our 'norm,' I guess. Besides, couples are supposed to fight, to keep the relationship strong. It's totally normal. It's actually not normal if they don't fight. I mean, yeah, it's probably not normal to fight EVERY day, but, it is for Alan and me.

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.

Tino looked at me, "You okay, Austin?"

I shook my head.

He frowned. "Lemme get you a beer." He walked out of the room, leaving me to my thoughts.

When he came back, he sat next to me, and said, "What was this one about?"

"This girl was hitting on him, and I got jealous..." I replied, sheepishly.

Yeah, it sounded dumb, and it was. Jealousy is a dumb reason to fight. I know he won't ever leave me for a girl with half a shirt on. But, you know, it got to me. It bugged me. A lot.

Tino sighed, "Austin, you know he won't leave you. You know how much he loves you."

"I know," I sighed, "But, it just...got to me, you know?"

Tino nodded, before taking a sip of his beer. "I know what you mean, dude. I also know how these fights work. He'll be back tomorrow. Don't sweat it."

I shrugged, "You're right."

Tino just cracked a smile and said, "I know I am," then walked out of the room.

I chuckled, then shook my head. Why am I worried? I know he'll be back.

What am I stressing out about?