Diary of a Hunter

"Good morning," Dean said, sneaking into my room. He wrapped his arms around me as I lay warm underneath my covers.

"Dean," I grumbled. I glanced over at my alarm clock. "It's seven thirty in the morning. What're you doing awake?"

"I wanted to come and give you your Christmas gift," he said simply, jumping on my bed. I sat up and squinted my eyes. I could barely see anything so I needed to go put on my contacts. I then saw Dean. He looked so happy and so excited for this Christmas. He looked so sweet and I didn't want to crush his spirit. He seemed very into Christmas spirit which is something I had rarely seen him in, ever.

"I have to pee. Can you wait like five minutes?" I asked.

"Sure," he chuckled. I smiled at him and then went into the bathroom. I peed, washed my hands, and then brushed my teeth. I returned to my room, not trying to seem as sleepy as I really was.

"Okay, I'm back. Good morning, boyfriend," I smiled, much more in the mood to do this right now. I leaned in and kissed him.

"Wow, good morning," he said, surprised at how forward I was.

"So, I have your Christmas gift," I said, pulling two wrapped items from under my bed.

"Open mine first," Dean encouraged.

"No! We'll open them together," I said.

"Fine," he sighed. We exchanged gifts. I carefully opened the first then, square shaped package only to reveal a mix CD.

"Great minds think alike," I said, looking over it. I looked over the song list and smiled to myself. These were all songs that made me think of Dean. I could even see some of his favorites on here.

"Apparently so," Dean replied, unwrapping mine. One was a mix CD that I had made him and another was a rare copy of a Led Zeppelin album that I knew he didn't have. "Woah, how did you get this?"

"It took me a while to hunt it down but when I did, I knew I had to get it for you. I know how much you like Led Zeppelin and that having this album would be a pretty big deal," I said, excitedly.

"Thank you," he smiled. "Yeah, this is… a huge deal. Damn, Dad is going to freak when he sees this. I can't believe you found it."

"It's your Christmas gift! I had to do something special," I shrugged, simply.

"Okay, and now for the other one," Dean said.

"Okay," I agreed. I opened the wrapping paper for the second one only to reveal a box.

"A journal?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically at me.

"Yeah, I uh, I thought that maybe you'd need something when you wanted to finally start your own hunting journal," I replied.

Instead of saying anything, Dean just pulled me in for a kiss, "I don't know. It's kind of Dad's thing for now."

"Oh, I know but you always talk about it and how you have so much to say about hunting… I just thought maybe you'd want to leave something for your kids. Some insight on the supernatural, you know?" I said back.

"No, I love it," Dean replied. "Sorry, open the box, Silly! You're killing me!"

"Okay, okay," I laughed. Why was he so eager for me to open this box? I carefully lifted the lid from the box to reveal a beautiful leather bracelet with a knot in the middle and two beads on each side of the knot. "Dean…"

"It's kind of a, uh, um, a promise bracelet. See, here's the lover's knot that the beads are framing… I know it's kind of cheesy but I found it in a store on our last hunt in Colorado. I thought you'd like it or something..." Dean said, scratching the back of his head, shyly.

I smiled, "No, I love it. It's beautiful, Dean. God, this is… great. Help me put it on?"

"Yeah," Dean said, trying to ignore the fact that he was completely blushing.

I held out my left arm and he tied the bracelet around my wrist, "Thank you, Dean. And Merry Christmas."

Dean chuckled, "You know, I don't think I've ever really liked Christmas before but this Christmas… it's been the best."

"I'm glad I could be here with you then," I said.

"Me too," he replied, leaning in and kissing me. Just then, there was a knock on the door and Sam peered in.

"Are you two going to come downstairs at any point?" Sam asked, trying to shield his eyes.

"Hah," I chuckled. "Yeah, sorry, Sam."

"Sorry, Sammy. I just needed some time with my girl," Dean added. I bit my lip. I was his girl. God, I loved the sound of that.

Christmas day and we were all gathered at The Falcon. We had done somewhat of a dinner thing and had opened presents too. All day long, I had been playing with the bracelet that Dean had given me earlier today. Things just felt so right and so good. I was sitting with Molly, Lacey, Ethan, and Cole while Dean was talking to Andrea. I got up and walked over next to them.

"Andrea, you don't mind if I borrow him, do you?" I asked, politely.

"Not at all. You two crazy kids enjoy yourself. It's Christmas," she replied.

"Great," I said. Dean gave me a puzzled look. He could already tell that I was up to something. Damn it!

"Follow me." I grabbed Dean's hand and he followed me up the stairs into the guest room of the upper level of the Falcon.

"What'd you need to borrow me for?" Dean asked, as soon as I shut the door to the guest room.

"I need some help with something," I started.

"Oh, well maybe you should talk to Ethan. I'm not really good with the whole advice stuff," Dean suggested.

I laughed as if to say, 'silly, Dean!', "No, this is definitely something only you can help me with."

"Meredith, what're you up to?" he asked, suspiciously.

Instead of answering, I grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him passionately. Dean got really into the kiss, pulling my body closer to his and kissing me back. I felt his tongue slip into my mouth. Now was the time to make the move. I took a couple of steps forward and then pushed him down on the bed. We reconnected with another kiss, my body on top of his. I straddled his waist and moved my hands down to the hemline of his shirt.

"I want to do this. It. Now," I whispered in between aggressive and hungry kisses.

"Wait, now now?" Dean asked, chuckling a little bit. He seemed a little surprised at how forward I was.

"Yeah," I replied. I pulled Dean's shirt off and he happily complied. The two of us continued to make out as I fumbled with the buckle of his belt. I finally got it undone and then undid his jeans. Dean helped me push his pants off as he kicked them completely off the bed. I paused and looked at Dean. He smiled at me and I smiled back at him as the two of us' breathing got heavier and heavier. He pulled me close again and kissed me.

"Now you're not really being fair, Miss Summers. I have a pair of boxers on and you are fully clothed," he said, breaking the kiss.

"We should fix that, huh?" I asked, tearing off my shirt and throwing it on the ground.

"Things are just getting better," he smirked, looking me up and down. And for some reason I didn't feel self-conscious at all. He kissed down my chest to my torso and I had to keep from moaning too loudly. He undid my jeans and I kicked them off to the end of the bed.

"I love you," Dean said, in between kisses.

"I love you too," I replied.

This was really going to happen. We were going to have sex. Dean fell back on top of me, making sure he wasn't crushing me underneath him. His warm skin touched mine and it was as if sparks were set off. He reached for the back of my bra to unclip it.

"Meredith! You should get down here. There's someone you may want to see," I heard a voice say.

"Mer, your dad is here," I heard another shocked voice say.

"My father?" I asked, sitting up and nudging Dean away. I ran my fingers through my hair and I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest. I couldn't tell whether it was from hearing my father was here or Dean and I's try at sex. "Shit." I got off the bed and began to redress.

"Meredith, what's going on?" Dean asked, shocked.

"I have no idea," I replied. Tons of thoughts were rushing through my mind. Why was my father here? I hadn't seen him in about a year. "Dean, I think my dad's here. I can't do this without you."

Dean nodded his head and pulled his shirt back on, "Okay." He held my hand and the two of us walked out of the Walsh's guest room.

"Dad?" I asked, coming out of the guestroom. I walked down the stairs and looked at the people gathered in the café. There he was: my dad. He just stood there and smiled as soon as he saw me. I smiled back and ran towards him, jumping into his arms. I grinned and closed my eyes, smelling that scent of that brown leather jacket he's worn for 13 years. It was always the smell I loved the minute he got home.

"Hi, sweetie," he replied, hugging me back.

"Dad, what're you doing here?" I asked pulling away, trying to fight back the urge to cry. I was just so happy that it was just one of those reactions.

"I wanted to come see my little girl on Christmas," he replied.

"I can't believe you're here," I said, hugging him once more.

"Me too, kiddo. Me too," he said back.

My dad being back was like being a kid again. He even called me those kid names again. Honestly, Dad hadn't been around enough for him to see me as a young adult yet so I guess he really did look at me as if I were a five year old. And to think I was just about to have sex with boyfriend. I noticed the room had gotten quiet. I looked around and people started to realize that we probably needed time alone.

"Sweetie, there's uh, something I'd really like to talk about," Dad started.

"Um, okay," I said, anxiously.

"Let's catch up. Do you think we could go in the other room for this?" my father asked.

"Sure," I replied. And that's when I noticed the little girl sitting in the corner, over near the fireplace. Who was she and what was she doing here? Had she come with my dad? "So what'd you want to talk about?"

"How have you been, Mer?" my dad asked.

"Uh, fine. How about you? I haven't heard from you in… six- eight months?" I replied, trying to hide disappointment and anger.

"Yeah, it has been a while. I'm so sorry, Meredith. Wow, you're… growing up. It feels like just yesterday you were just starting kindergarten. What are you, a sophomore now?" my dad asked.

"Junior," I replied.

"That's an important year," he remarked.

"I know," I replied.

"Are you looking at any colleges yet?" he asked.

"Didn't you want to talk about something?" I asked back. "Sorry." I didn't mean to sound so harsh but I was so eager to find out about this little girl that was sitting in the corner. Why was she so isolated?

"Um, this year I recently found out that I have… another daughter," my dad said.

"Oh," I said. It was honestly all I could say right now. I was speechless.

"Look, Meredith her mother died. I was with them for two months before she died. She wanted me to get to know Sawyer before she died and when she finally died, I just, I held Sawyer in my arms like I did with you the night your mother died and I knew that I couldn't leave her, Mer. We both know what that's like. I've been spending the past year putting her through school and getting her adjusted and stable so that I could move her here," my dad said.

I looked over at the little girl, "Wait a second. I'm sorry. Are you telling me that you've spent the past six or eight months with her? At home? You weren't hunting?" I asked.

"That's correct. I wish I could've told you but it would've just been too complicated, Meredith. I'm sorry," my dad started.

I opened my mouth but didn't even know what to say. I could feel tears crowding my eyes and I tried to avoid them. This time, the tears were out of sadness and anger, unlike the earlier ones that were filled with joy.

"God, Dad, I- I don't even know what to say to you," I finally said, a venomous tone in my voice.

"You have every right to be mad at me," Dad said using that obnoxious pacifist voice of his.

"No! No, you can't even do that! Don't tell me that you understand what I'm going through or that it's okay if I-. You skipped out on a lot this year to be with… her?" I asked.

"Meredith-," Dad started.

"No! I don't even want to hear it, Dad. Is that why you're here? To drop her off and then go back on another hunt?" I asked.

"Take care of her, Meredith," my dad said.

"I-," I started.

"Please, don't take this out on her. She's been through a lot. Do you remember when your mother died? How hard it was for you? How hard the adjustment was? She's been with me all year and it's going to be a new, hard adjustment for her and you both. Bobby already said he was-," Dad started.

"Wait, Bobby knew about this?" I asked, glaring at my father.

"Yes," my dad answered after a long pause.

"I can't believe this. I can NOT believe this," I said, storming out of the room.

"Meredith, wait!" my dad called.

"God, I can't do this," I said, bursting through the front door to the Falcon and outside in the cold, December night. It was freezing but I couldn't go back in there. I just let the snowflakes land on my skin. I could ignore the cold. I stared out into the landscape. Little white snowflakes laid everywhere. By tomorrow morning, the ground would be covered and it'd be the beautiful calming white blanket of snow that I could definitely use right now.

"Meredith!" a voice called out. I was about to walk away before I realized that it wasn't my dad but it was Dean. I turned right around and fell into his arms. Dean just held me and stroked my hair as I sobbed. "Meredith, what happened?"

"Could we just get out of here? I can't be here right now," I asked, swallowing hard.

He nodded, "Of course we can." Dean took my hand and led me to the Impala. I shivered, realizing that I wasn't wearing my jacket. "Sorry. I'll turn the heat on." Dean turned the car on and slowly, it began to heat up. He pulled out of his parking space and we were just driving.
I couldn't say anything for a while. I just stood there and watched the places that we'd pass by. Dean could tell that that was just what I needed at the moment. He didn't push me to tell him what happened or anything.

"Dean, where are we going?" I asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I don't really know. I just kind of figured that we'd just drive until you were done talking… or… not talking," he said. I chuckled.

"Thank you," I said. I watched as he made a right and we kept driving. "He's been living with another family for the past year. He was with the woman for two months and then she died so he didn't want to uproot the girl… I think he said her name was Sawyer or something so he lived with her for the rest of the year until she was ready to come to Bobby's. She's going to come live with us, Dean and he's just going to leave, again!"

I could feel tears coming to my eyes again but I didn't want to cry anymore. My eyes already stung and hurt from crying so much.

"God, I'm sorry, Meredith. That's pretty fucked up," Dean said.

"You think?" I asked. "God, I just, ugh, I hate life sometimes. Life is such a bitch."

"You know you can't take this out on the little girl, right?" Dean asked.

I sighed, "Yeah, I know. And you know what makes it worse? Bobby knew about it! Not only has my father not been hunting but has been taking care of another family but the man that I actually see as my father has been lying to me. Everything is so fucked up right now, Dean. I don't know what to do."

"It's all going to be okay. Look, I get that you're jealous. You miss your dad and it seems like you've taken the backseat in his life," Dean started. I nodded. As much as I hated to admit it, Dean was right.

"I'm sure that your dad made Bobby swear to keep it a secret. They want what's best for you and probably knew that you'd react this way. They want you to be happy. And as for the little girl, she must be just as scared as you were when this happened to your mother. She's in a house full of strangers and she could use an ally – preferably an older, awesome, hot, half sister."

"Since when did you get so smart?" I asked, looking over at him.

"I don't know. It comes with old age, I guess," he joked and I laughed.

"You always know how to make me feel better," I said.

"I'm your boyfriend. That's what I'm here for, right?" he asked.

"I guess," I replied. I looked down and smiled to myself. I had a really great guy here. Who cares about all the others ones? My dad, Bobby… it didn't matter because I had Dean.