Diary of a Hunter

"I'll see you later," I heard Dean say as he flirted with the picture perfect, blonde, archetypal cheerleader that was leaning against his locker.

"Yeah, I'll see you at the football dinner tonight. It's a formal event and I'll be wearing something black, and short. Maybe we can discuss it afterwards," she winked.

"You betcha," Dean replied, smirking as the girl left. He stared at her as she walked away with lust in his eyes and I rolled my eyes, my jealousy burning within me. He was always into this kind of girl and I just never fit the mold. It didn't matter anyways. Dean and I were friends and I was going to be a dumbass by letting my feelings overpower my judgment. I was going to play the good friend to my best abilities...

"You're a dumbass," I commented, opening my locker and pulling out my math textbook. Dean raised his eyebrows at me.

So much for being the good friend...

"And you're a terrible actor," he shot back. I raised an eyebrow at him. "What? I can tell that you don't like her. I know you think she's a dumb sl-."

"I didn't say that!" I protested.

"But you thought it, Smalls," he smirked, knowing he was winning.

I pursed my lips defensively,"So?"

"Somebody's jealous," he teased.

"I-, No! I just think you can do better. That's all," I shrugged. There. Good friend.

"She's... nice," Dean attempted to defend her.

"To... no one?" I argued.

"She's nice to me," he smirked. "I'm so getting laid tonight."

"Okay, sissy virgin boy," I teased, rolling my eyes.

"Hey! Don't say that too loudly!" Dean exclaimed, lowering his voice.

I sighed, "Well best of luck if you're… into that sort of thing." The two of us watched as the blonde cheerleader joined the rest of her friends. They all looked over this way and then giggled before walking down the hallway.

"So you coming to the football dinner tonight?" Dean asked.

"I don't know, I thought about it. Maybe," I replied, shrugging casually as Dean and I walked to class together. Dean always walked me to pre-calc because it was on the way to his US history class.

"You should," Dean started.

"Why?" I asked, as if he were crazy for asking me that. "You do know that these football things are really not my thing, right?"

"Yeah, I know but you're my... friend… and I want you to be there," Dean replied, mumbling the last part. "Actually, you don't have to come. It's not a big deal anyways and I'm probably going to go out afterwards and you probably wouldn't want to be there."

I thought back to Teresa, the blonde girl he had been talking to right before I came over here. Right, he was probably going out afterwards meaning the guy that I had be enamored with was probably going to go out and screw some ditzy, popular, pretty cheerleader that wasn't me. I mean, it wasn't like I wanted Dean in that way, it's just I had liked him for quite a long time and to picture him with someone else was really hard for me.

"Mer?"

"Sorry, um, actually you know what I'll probably come. Ethan is going to go because he's going with his girlfriend Lacey who's cheering so… he'll be there and I'll probably just go home afterwards and leave you to your… business. Plus, I'm exhausted and probably just need some rest," I said, scrambling for words so that it didn't look I was at all affected by the fact that Dean was going to have sex tonight.

"Right," Dean said.

"Yeah, so I'll see you there, I guess," I said, faking a smile and desperately trying to get away from Dean as we approached my math class.

"See you, Meredith," Dean replied, distantly. I tried not to make myself seem to eager but I was so eager to go to class – and I hated math.

After school ended, even though it was a Friday, I began to make my way to the café. I gathered everything I'd need for the weekend from my locker and then headed toward my car.

"Meredith, wait up!" I heard someone call. I turned around only to see little Sam Winchester following me.

"Hey, Sammy, what's up?" I asked.

"Do you think you could give me a ride to the café? I think I'm going to work on some homework and avoid home for a little bit," Sam replied.

"Sure, I'm heading right over there. What's going on?" I asked, concerned. Sam glanced around and sighed.

"I'll tell you in the car," he said back.

I nodded, "Okay, hop in." He opened the passenger door, threw his book bag in the back seat and then sat up in the passenger seat next to me.

"What's going on, Sam?" I asked casually, as I finally reached the road and was on my way to The Falcon. "Why are you avoiding home?"

"I don't know. Dad and Bobby just left so it's kind of empty," Sam started, trailing off.

"Yeah, of course you can come along," I replied.

"That and Dean has Stephen over and I'd rather not listen to their conversations," Sam said, rolling his eyes at the last part.

"Wow. I'm glad I'm working at the café then. I get the Dean and Stephen part, but what about the house being empty?" I asked, curiously. "Don't worry, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

"No, it's fine. It's actually kind of nice to have someone to talk to that's not Dean," Sam replied.

I smiled, "Yeah, Dean can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. He's a terrible listener too. Sometimes I don't even know if he remembers half the things I say to him." Sam chuckled and it was good to see a smile on that kid's face.

"Well, I thought the whole point of this normal thing meant I didn't have to be locked up at home with myself or Dean, you know?" Sam asked, looking over at me.

I nodded slowly, "Yeah. I know the feeling."

"Sometimes I just wish we could settle down and I could finally go to school and not have to hunt every day. Hunting keeps us on the road and away from anything… normal. I made the middle school soccer team and I've been doing really well in my classes and I really don't want things to have to change. I like it here," Sam explained.

I nodded, "So you mean you wish you could stay here with Bobby and I?"

"Yes, well, maybe? Anything normal would do for me," Sam replied.

"Well, if it counts, it's still kind of lonely. Of course I have Bobby but Dad didn't even come for my birthday. And Dad is... well, he's my dad. I know I can't complain but it seems like with our families, there's never a win-win," I sighed.

"I guess that would be the hard part… being away from my family," Sam observed.

I nodded, "It's the hardest."

"What is this?" Sam asked, quickly changing the subject, referring to the music playing over the car stereo.

"The Goo Goo Dolls. You like it?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's nice," Sam smiled.

"Yeah, a big change from the classic rock stuff, huh?" I chucked.

"Yeah... Of course Dean would call it chick music," Sam laughed.

"Ah, screw him!" I joked.

There was a long silence before Sam spoke up, asking, "What do you see in him anyways?"

"What?!" I asked.

He shrugged, "I'm just curious."

"Sam Winchester, since when did you get all grown up?" I asked, a smile on my face.

"I don't know," he smiled.

"I-, he's my best friend. He doesn't put on all the bullshit with me and I'm not so... afraid," I answered, honestly.

"Afraid of what?" Sam asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know. Being in the biz while balancing normal is a little... weird. Add on high school and-."

"Kids aren't nice. I get that," Sam said. I nodded.

"You know, I tutor some kids at the elementary school across town if you'd want to come with me," I proposed.

"Really?" Sam asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Yeah, I go on Wednesdays," I replied.

"And I could really come with you?" Sam asked.

"Of course," I replied.

"Okay, cool," Sam said back, smiling. I pulled up to the café and both Sam and I got out of the car.

"Okay, kiddo. I've got to work but you can stay here for as long as you want. Oh, and are you going to your brother's football dinner?" I asked.

"I guess?" he asked.

"Well I'm going so we can go together," I suggested.

"Okay," Sam smiled. He was a cute kid, even though I knew he was way wise beyond his years.

~~~

"Alright kids, enough work! Go play! Don't you have that football dinner tonight anyways?" Andrea asked as Ethan and I were cleaning a table. Sam was still sitting up at the counter with a half finished muffin and an open math book.

"Mom, what time is it?" Ethan asked, alarmed.

"It's 6:30. Did you lose track of time?" Andrea asked back.

"Guess I did. Are you sure? I really don't have to go to this thing and I could stay back and help you. Don't you need someone to help bake the cakes and-," I started.

"Nope! Go and have fun, Meredith. It's about time you got out anyways," Andrea said.

"Hey!" I exclaimed and I heard Sam chuckled in the background.

"Damn, Lacey is going to be here any minute now so I'm going to go and get ready. This thing starts at 7," Ethan said, hurrying up the winding stairs of the old firehouse and up to his room. I sighed and that's when it hit me. This was a formal event and I had nothing to wear.

"Andrea, I'll just stay. I have nothing to wear anyways," I started.

"What's wrong with what you're wearing now? What is this thing you guys are going to anyways?" Andrea asked.

"It's this football dinner. It's kind of an induction to the new team players and a formal dinner to raise money for the team that the whole school goes. It's pretty much an excuse to get dressed up and gush over the football players," I answered, rolling my eyes at the whole concept of this dinner.

"It'll be fun. I'll go see if I have anything. I was a couple of inches shorter when I was hunting so I might have something that'll fit you," Andrea commented before following Ethan up the stairs. I sighed and went to sit next to Sam.

"Do you have anything to wear?" I asked.

"Yeah, I knew I'd have to go to this and that I wouldn't want to be home tonight so I brought a change of clothes," Sam answered.

"Gotcha. So you know we both are going to be stuck at this even tonight," I commented.

"Yeah don't remind me," Sam replied.

"Well, we'll just have to stick together then and avoid your brother. He's probably going to be gawking over some dumb cheerleader," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You know, if you like him, you should just tell him, Mer," Sam commented.

"What?" I asked back, giving him a puzzled look. "Sam, I don't-, that wouldn't be such a good idea." It was really no use lying to Sam about my feelings for Dean.

"It's obvious that you two have feelings for each other. He's just trying to get laid tonight but I know he cares a lot about you, Meredith," Sam replied.

I chuckled, "You do realize that I'm taking romantic advice from a 12-year-old, right?"

Sam chuckled too, "Yes, but a very wise 12-year-old who happens to know a lot about his dumbass of a big brother. Dean can be an idiot but he cares a lot about you. It surprises me sometimes what he'd do for you."

"What do you mean?" I asked. Did he know something that I didn't?

"Well he defends you from Stephen who happens to be his ticket to 'cool'. There's a lot he would do for you," Sam commented, using air quotes on the word, cool.

I smiled to myself. Sam was right but ah, now I was getting too much in my head and I didn't want to think about it. If I thought of Dean in a good way, if there was the smallest possibility that he felt the same way about me, it would be so much harder for me to go to this dinner. I knew that all night, he'd target one girl, most likely Teresa, and I'd have to sit and watch them. I'd have to sit and watch them and know that he'd be going home with her tonight, most likely losing his virginity. I couldn't help the jealous feelings stirring inside but then someone pulled me from my thoughts.

"I found something. It's perfect for catching the eye of that special someone!" I heard Andrea exclaimed, before reaching the last step of the stair case. She stepped down onto the floor and walked over to me, showing me the dress. "What do you think?"

"Um, I, uh," I stammered, trying to get words out but nothing could express my feelings. It was stunning dress but it wasn't like I could pull that off. It was a red halter dress with a sweetheart neckline that went just above the knee. "Andrea, I really don't usually wear red…" I shrugged, biting my thumbnail. Ah, bad habit.

"And that is exactly what you should wear it. People are expecting you to come to this thing in a regular, old, black dress. It's a beautiful dress for a beautiful girl," Andrea reasoned.

"I don't know… I don't think I can pull this sort of thing off I mean, I'm not…," I started, uncomfortably.

"Sexy? Yeah right. Just try it on and you can decide from there," Andrea said, thrusting the dress into my hands.

I sighed and then went into the bathroom to try it on. I stripped off my jeans, sneakers, socks, and shirt and then slid the dress over my head. I ran my fingers through my hair and finally looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. My eyes widened as I saw my reflection. I looked… Good. I looked like a girl. Well I mean I looked like one of those girls. I fluffed my hair up before giving up, knowing that there was no way that I'd ever get it to do what I wanted. I bit my lip, rocking back and forth on my heels. Could I really pull this off..?

I gathered my clothes from the floor and then walked out of the bathroom.

"But I wouldn't have any shoes to-," I started, only to see Andrea holding a pair of black, strappy heels.

"You look beautiful," Andrea smiled. "You look just like your mother."

"Thank you, Andrea. For the dress and the compliment and…" I started. "Just, thank you." I blushed. I missed Mom a lot. Did I really look just like her?

"Oh, just call me your fairy godmother," she joked, causing me to laugh.

"You look great, Meredith," Sam replied. I could tell that he was surprised at my dressy image. "You look like-,"

"One of those girls, I know," I said, laughing.

"Ooh," I heard a voice say, as they came down the stairs. I looked up to see Ethan. He reached the bottom step and then stepped onto the floor. "My best friend is hot! Who knew?"

"Ha-ha very funny," I replied sarcastically.

"I mean it. You look beautiful, Mer," Ethan said.

"You look good too," I replied, smiling at my best friend as he pulled me into a hug. Just then, the door opened and Lacey stood in the door way.

"Hey, baby. Oh my God, Meredith Summers you look great!" she exclaimed.

"Thank you," I replied, slipping on my other shoe.

"You know, if you let me put some mascara on, your eyelashes would go on for miles," Lacey hinted. Ethan nudged me.

I mean... there was no harm in it, right? This was so weird...!

"Alright fine, you can do it," I sighed, smiling a bit.

"Yes!" she cheered.

~~~

"Wow you're like the belle of the ball. Everyone's staring," Sam noticed.

"I know, it's freaking me out!" I exclaimed trying to avoid everyone's glances and whispers. Even if they were positive, it was really creepy. I didn't really like this attention.

"Hey, Sam," a girl's voice said.

"Oh, hi," Sam replied. "Meredith, this is Georgina, a friend from school." I looked over at smiled at the curly brunette.

"Nice meeting you, I'm Meredith," I said.

"Is your brother on the team?" Georgina asked Sam.

"Yeah, he is. Yours is too right?" Sam asked back.

"Yeah. So a couple of kids from the middle school are here. Would you like to sit with us?" she asked, curiously. I could see that Sam was happy that she'd ask him to sit with them. Sam looked up at me and I nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be fine by myself, kiddo," I replied.

"Okay, cool. Thanks, Mer," Sam replied.

"No problem," I said back.

Just then, I spotted Dean walking in with his date, Teresa. And of course, they were laughing and flirting. He kept trying to look down her dress. I rolled my eyes and couldn't help the pang of jealousy, twisting in my stomach. If Sam had said that he cared about me so much, then why did he flirt with girls like Teresa?

"Hey," Ethan said, coming up to me. Lacey was greeting some other friends so it was just me and Ethan now.

"Hey," I replied.

"Dean?" he asked.

"Mhm. It's not important though. I'm… it's not of relevance," I managed to say. And just then, Dean spotted me. "Oh no. Hide me!"

"Yeah, right. Like I could hide you when you look like that," Ethan shot back.

"Shit," I muttered as soon as I knew that Dean had seen me. It was as if he had to do a double take. He looked over at me and then turned back around to look at me again, just staring.

"Hey, let's sit down," I said, pulling Ethan with me.

"What's up?" Ethan asked, looking at me curiously.

"Nothing he just, I'm not going to let him ruin my night. I-," I started and before I could finish my sentence, Dean and Teresa were approaching our table. They sat down and my heart dropped. So much for my night not being ruined.

"Meredith," Dean said.

"Hey," I replied, faking a smile and trying to avoid his gaze.

"You look… beautiful," he said.

"Thank you," I replied. Great. This was just freakin' great.

Sitting at Dean's table was horrible. Dean would look at me while Teresa would try to get his attention, and the Stephen would say some asshole comment and check me out. I just felt very uncomfortable.

"Yeah, and we're going to have this killer after party and everything!" Stephen exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes, attempting to drone out the sounds of the dumbass football players and their dates. I took another sip of my water, almost wishing it was something containing alcohol. I just needed a beer... or four.

"Hey, you should come," Dean started. That snapped me out of my own world. I looked over at him like a dear in the headlights as Teresa scowled and slouched in her chair.

"I don't know," I started.

"Oh come on, Mer. There's going to be booze," Dean said in a sing song voice, trying to tempt me.

"She'd love to," Ethan replied. I elbowed him in the ribcage. "Ow!" Ethan glared at me and I glared back at him.

"Fine," I said, glaring at Ethan. "I'll go but I need to drop Sam at home first."

"Okay, then come afterwards," Dean said.

"Okay," I replied, meekly. I knew that I was going to completely regret this and I had no idea why I was doing this in the first place. Stupid Ethan. Stupid Stephen. Stupid Dean. Stupid, stupid, idiotic feelings.