Sequel: Therapy ›
Status: This story is complete. Please note that certain chapters may act as a trigger, and if you feel yourself getting triggered at any time, I want you to stop and just breathe, okay? I'm only a message away if you need some random stranger to talk to.
If These Sheets Were States
You Make me Wanna Tear my ***ing Hair Out
Bella woke up to the sound of endless thundering, that sounded like it was coming from her front door. She stirred from her sleep, her eyelids feeling heavier than a tonne of bricks. Her left cheek was crushed between her face and the floor, and her head felt like it had had a piano dropped on top of it, like in those cartoons. Bella groaned as she tried to lift herself up.
"ISABELLA OLIVIANNA STITHAM, GET THE FUCK UP. COME ON. IT IS IMPORTANT."
"Ey? What the?" Bella leaned up on her elbows, looking down at the blood stained floor. She grunted at the sight of the floor, at the sight of her arm and at the sight of her face in the mirror. Mascara had stained her cheeks and parts of her neck, where she hadn't been able to stop the tears from falling. Bella felt disappointed, extremely, at the fact that she was still alive. Because she felt like death. And if this wasn't death, then she didn't know what it was.
You name it, anything, that's exactly how Bella felt right now.
"COME ON BELLA. OPEN THIS DOOR OR SO HELP ME." Another few million thuds on the door.
"Mate, hold your fucking horses!" Bella staggered as she rose, and stumbled to her bedroom, pulling on the nearest item of clothing. Whether it was back to front, inside out or upside down, she didn't give a shit. Dragging her feet across the floor, Bella looked through the spy-hole to discover a shaking, cold Paige. She turned the key in the door, expecting a tornado of emotions from her best friend.
"What the fuck took you so long?! It is freezing and you just let me wait out there?! Are you kidding -" Paige cut herself off, "you're hungover. No. Don't fucking tell me you've done it. I can't believe this. Oh my -" Paige ran to the bathroom and then the bedroom, a look of spite on her face when she returned to the hallway to face Bella.
Bella gave a faint smile, her cheeks a slight shade of pink.
"YOU CUT, DIDN'T YOU?! Ugh! The night before we go to a meet and greet to see one of your favourite bands, which may I add, I bought the tickets, and you fucking shred yourself! SMART. CLEVER. Way to fucking go, Miss Clever Clogs! Why do I bother?! Seriously!"
"Shut up." Bella murmured.
"NO! How many times have I got to try and pull you away from the edge before you actually come back?! I miss the Bella that didn't cut, that didn't hide behind these silly little wristbands on her arms! UGH! I just don't know what I have to fucking do with you, Bella. I really don't. I'm at the end of my tether." Paige screamed.
Bella's eyes clouded over, her sight misty.
"I'm sorry. Look, just go and get ready, okay? I'll go wait in the car for you, and you come out to me, and then we'll go, alright? Just go."
Bella nodded, refusing to let the tears in her eyes fall.
"Bella?"
"Mmm?"
"I love you." Paige took Bella in a huge and loving embrace, holding her so tight, squeezing her so close.
"I love you too. Please, stop screaming at me." Bella said as a tear eventually fell. It rolled down her sleeve and on to Paige's shirt.
"Just go get ready. Remember to bring the poster of them that you love so much. Who knows, they might sign it." Paige headed out the front door and towards her car.
Bella stood there and dried her eyes. She knew that Paige was angry but she hated it when she blew off at her on one like that. She couldn't help it. It made the pain stop for a while. It gave her a release. She knew that deep down, Paige knew it too. Bella made her way into her bedroom, dragging her feet. Opening the doors to the wardrobe, she tried to pick out an outfit, mentally picturing it on her. In the end, she picked out a pair of bright green skinny jeans and her 'Don't Panic!' t-shirt. Her outfit matched perfectly. Bella got dressed and changed her make-up, grabbed her favourite poster and then ran out of the house, locking the door.
Today was the day she would meet the boys who stopped her from dying so many times.
"ISABELLA OLIVIANNA STITHAM, GET THE FUCK UP. COME ON. IT IS IMPORTANT."
"Ey? What the?" Bella leaned up on her elbows, looking down at the blood stained floor. She grunted at the sight of the floor, at the sight of her arm and at the sight of her face in the mirror. Mascara had stained her cheeks and parts of her neck, where she hadn't been able to stop the tears from falling. Bella felt disappointed, extremely, at the fact that she was still alive. Because she felt like death. And if this wasn't death, then she didn't know what it was.
You name it, anything, that's exactly how Bella felt right now.
"COME ON BELLA. OPEN THIS DOOR OR SO HELP ME." Another few million thuds on the door.
"Mate, hold your fucking horses!" Bella staggered as she rose, and stumbled to her bedroom, pulling on the nearest item of clothing. Whether it was back to front, inside out or upside down, she didn't give a shit. Dragging her feet across the floor, Bella looked through the spy-hole to discover a shaking, cold Paige. She turned the key in the door, expecting a tornado of emotions from her best friend.
"What the fuck took you so long?! It is freezing and you just let me wait out there?! Are you kidding -" Paige cut herself off, "you're hungover. No. Don't fucking tell me you've done it. I can't believe this. Oh my -" Paige ran to the bathroom and then the bedroom, a look of spite on her face when she returned to the hallway to face Bella.
Bella gave a faint smile, her cheeks a slight shade of pink.
"YOU CUT, DIDN'T YOU?! Ugh! The night before we go to a meet and greet to see one of your favourite bands, which may I add, I bought the tickets, and you fucking shred yourself! SMART. CLEVER. Way to fucking go, Miss Clever Clogs! Why do I bother?! Seriously!"
"Shut up." Bella murmured.
"NO! How many times have I got to try and pull you away from the edge before you actually come back?! I miss the Bella that didn't cut, that didn't hide behind these silly little wristbands on her arms! UGH! I just don't know what I have to fucking do with you, Bella. I really don't. I'm at the end of my tether." Paige screamed.
Bella's eyes clouded over, her sight misty.
"I'm sorry. Look, just go and get ready, okay? I'll go wait in the car for you, and you come out to me, and then we'll go, alright? Just go."
Bella nodded, refusing to let the tears in her eyes fall.
"Bella?"
"Mmm?"
"I love you." Paige took Bella in a huge and loving embrace, holding her so tight, squeezing her so close.
"I love you too. Please, stop screaming at me." Bella said as a tear eventually fell. It rolled down her sleeve and on to Paige's shirt.
"Just go get ready. Remember to bring the poster of them that you love so much. Who knows, they might sign it." Paige headed out the front door and towards her car.
Bella stood there and dried her eyes. She knew that Paige was angry but she hated it when she blew off at her on one like that. She couldn't help it. It made the pain stop for a while. It gave her a release. She knew that deep down, Paige knew it too. Bella made her way into her bedroom, dragging her feet. Opening the doors to the wardrobe, she tried to pick out an outfit, mentally picturing it on her. In the end, she picked out a pair of bright green skinny jeans and her 'Don't Panic!' t-shirt. Her outfit matched perfectly. Bella got dressed and changed her make-up, grabbed her favourite poster and then ran out of the house, locking the door.
Today was the day she would meet the boys who stopped her from dying so many times.