Time to Try

I often wondered what I would be like to be a fictional character, where all your life and who you are is under the control of one man with a pen who can change your life or remove your existence by the flick of a pen of click of a button; where your fortunes are dependent on their mood and all you do is their decision. It would have explained a lot for my circumstances and all that had happened. I'd suddenly realised that there comes a day in every man's life where the pain seers, his will dies and all he worked for, all he achieved was shattered in front of him, it is then when every man no matter his strength will see the light and embrace his fate with open arms and walk to his coffin freely. The agony had brought me to this long ago. A million questions ran through my head, how had I been called sadistic?
In my life I recalled a million times I had been the cause of such pain as this, yet the crime in life is not to take someone to the brink between life and death but to pull them back for a life which could be the same as it was before. True sadism, true cruelty lay purely in the hands of my saviours. I cried out on deaf ears and begged them not to try. Moments later it was black.. Surely this was death?