‹ Prequel: I Don't Do Lonely Well
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Inside Your Heaven

i can't wait.

Jack smacks his hand straight into my back, startling me out of my reflection. He stands next to me in the vanity-type mirror—him in his tuxedo and me in mine. “Shit, man, I can’t believe it. In a month, I’ll be married.”
“You ready, dude?”
I flatten out the black jacket. “Absolutely. I’ve been waiting for this moment for five years. I can’t fucking wait.”
Jack smiles and heads back for the dressing room to change back into his clothes. I can’t quite get the image out of my mind, so I don’t change yet. I just stare at the tux, pastel navy blue vest, and light grey tie.
“Dude, we’ve got to get going,” Rian tells me, looking at his phone for the time. I nod and head back for the dressing room.

The last two weeks of our tour feel like years, but finally, I’m back home. We’re all surrounded by the wedding rush. Between Virginia running around like crazy trying to get every detail straight, sitting her down to actually make sure she eats three meals a day, and trying to figure out what the fuck I’m going to say for my vows, the bachelor party quickly approaches.
I’m on a plane to Vegas with Flyzik, Jack, Zack, Rian, Cody, Vinny and Colussy. The night is a fucking blur of shots, strippers, and a pub crawl.
Virginia isn’t home when we get back, and none of the girls are even contactable. They headed off to New York City for the bachelorette party, and they’re spending the next two nights in the hotel our guests booked for the wedding.
We ultimately decided on just having one huge outdoor wedding and indoor reception at The Liberty Mountain Resort. We’re expecting nearly 300 people. I let Virginia pick the color scheme, and she chose some beachy, summery pastels—pastel navy, light green, light grey, and two matching shades of brown. I take a run through of the place the morning of, and it looks absolutely beautiful.
I can’t believe I’m getting married today. Today. Five years in the making, and I’m finally making my best friend my wife. “Excited?”
I turn around and see my mother in the doorway. There are tears in her eyes. She enters the room and closes the door. While all the other groomsmen are out escorting the guests in, I’m left to myself to mentally prepare. “I can’t wait, Mom.”
Mom embraces me tightly. “Your brother would be so proud of you, you know. Your father and I are, and I know that he’s here with us today.”
This brings tears to my eyes, too. “Thanks, Mom.”
She pulls away and flattens out my tie and vest. “I just want you to know that, Alex. We are all so proud of you, and we can’t wait to see what’s in store for the two of you.” She kisses my cheek. “I’m going to check in on Virginia. I heard she needs a motherly figure.” She winks at me and leaves the room.
I take a deep breath and look in the mirror one last time.
I’m ready.

My toes tap nervously inside my shoes, and my fingers are drumming against my sides. I can’t seem to slow my heart beat. My palms start sweating; no amount of wiping on the pants is fixing it either. I can’t believe this day is finally here. It seems to take longer for the wedding party to come down the aisle than our entire engagement did. And then everyone rises to their feet. I glance at my best friend behind me, and the grin on his face is uncontainable.
The music starts, and I hear cameras begin clicking away. I close my eyes and breathe in attempts to call myself.
When I open my eyes, I see her. Long brown hair pulled back with loose curls beautifully fallen out. Two jeweled clips decorate perfectly on the side her hair parts to. Her dress fits her so fucking perfectly. The jeweled design on the dress matches her clips, and it hugs around her chest, draping gently from her bust to the ground.
She is just so goddamn beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes, and most of her remaining walk to the altar is blurred by tears.
Her father walks her to me. After a long talk we had, she decided it best to ask her father to walk her down the aisle. So, here he is, handing her over to me. He rests his hand on my shoulder. “Take good care of her, son.”
“For the rest of my life.”
Virginia reaches her manicured fingers forward and wipes my cheek. I hold her hand against my face for a moment before taking that arm and looping it through mine.
I can’t pay attention through most of the ceremony. I’m too focused on her and how goddamn beautiful she looks. At least until I hear her vows. “You turned my entire life around, and as long as we live, I promise to support you and love you and never take a second with you for granted. To never fall asleep angry or upset because every day with you is a blessing. And to always fight through the thick and thin for you and for us. Alex, you’re my,” she pauses to sniffle, “you’re my best friend, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life by your side.”
I want to kiss her right then and there, but it’s not quite time yet. And I still have to give my vows. I turn towards Jack, and he brings out a guitar. “So, I couldn’t find a way to put the way I feel for you into just words.” Virginia laughs and wipes the tears from her face. “The way you curse when you’re in traffic, the million flavors of your chapstick, the way that you keep my heart captive…”
Most of the bridesmaids and Virginia are crying by the end of the song. Hell, I’m crying by the end of the song. Jack takes the guitar from me and returns it.
The ceremony finishes with two emotional ‘I do’s and a kiss like I’ve never experienced before. There’s something different about the lips of your new wife meeting your own, some kind of spark I’ve never felt before. It’s like our relationship was just born again, like we never did anything in the past to hurt each other. It sets off a proud fire in my chest, sending the burning through my fingertips.
I cup her cheeks with both hands, and she grips the sides of my shirt. I can hear our wedding party shouting, a few quietly throwing in crude comments. The crowd is clapping and cheering.
I pull away and rest my forehead on Virginia’s. “I absolutely love every single inch of you.” I run my hands down her arms and intertwine our fingers.
She kisses my lips once more.
“I now give to you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Gaskarth,” the pastor announces. She lets go of one of my hands and turns towards everyone, and I follow and look at the crowd for the first time since the ceremony started.
It’s a new sense of pride for me, too. I was always proud to have Virginia, to show her off to my friends, and even to turn girls down because I knew I had one so much better at home.
But this time, I’m showing off my wife. The woman who refused to date me, the one who I almost didn’t marry, the one who stole my heart the second I saw her in that coffee shop. She’s mine. Forever. And I’m not going to ever let her go.
♠ ♠ ♠
freeze this moment;
let me stop and stare.
nothing before was real;
this is the way i feel.

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wedding dress .. http://pinterest.com/pin/138133913540430498/
hair .. http://techmorf.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Comely-Chignon-and-Decorative-Clusters.jpg

also, i know all time low didn't write the song alex sings, but for argument's sake, let's say he did.