‹ Prequel: I Don't Do Lonely Well
Status: posting regularly :]

Inside Your Heaven

i can't wait.

I hear a knock on the door, and Cass rushes to pull it open. “Mrs. Gaskarth, hey!” she greets excitedly. My wedding party turns and greets the mother of my soon-to-be husband.
“Can I have a second with Virginia?” she wonders. “Alone.” The wedding party clears out. “How are you doing?” She walks over to me and rests her hands on my shoulders. “You look stunning.”
“Thank you,” I reply. “I’m…I’m so nervous, Isobel. This is all I’ve wanted and more, but I’m absolutely terrified.” I feel tears start brimming in my eyes.
“I know, honey.” She pulls me into a tight embrace. “It’s scary, it really is. I went through the same thing, but just know that it’s so worth it. I’ve never seen Alex love a girl lie he loves you. Don’t you doubt that for a second.” My lips pull into a smile. “You two are going to have a long and happy life together, and I am so happy my son found you. I wouldn’t want him with anyone else.”

Needless to say, I’m considering walking down the aisle with my eyes closed. I can’t shake the nerves—the churning stomach, dizziness, shaking hands. I’m absolutely petrified, and when the music starts, things only get worse. I still put a smile on my face for the cameras and walk next to my father.
And then, there he is. Black dress pants, blue vest, sleeves of his white shirt rolled up to his elbows. Everything seems to disappear. My nerves are gone, and I can’t stop the smile spreading to my lips. I want to take off running to him, ask the preacher to skip the fluffy parts and just marry us already.
He’s it. I’ve known it from the start no matter how many times I’ve tried to deny it.
I manage to make it through the ceremony without crying until we read our vows. It sinks in then that I’m giving my life to this man I’ve just spent five years with. Five years. The man I’ve loved, hated, fought with, made up with. It’s all real.
And that song he sings. I didn’t know it was possible, but I fell more in love with him. As he wraps his arm around my waist and walks with me down the aisle, a new kind of euphoria takes me over. This is my husband; this is my life.
We send our guests for cocktail our in the reception hall across the street while Alex and I take our wedding pictures. “We did it.” He smiles at me, wrapping his arm tighter around me and pressing his lips to my temple.
I feel a smile pull on my lips, and the camera goes off. “Yeah, we did,” I agree. “I’m so proud of us.”
The pictures take about an hour, and we’re on our way into the reception hall. It still hasn’t quite sunk in that I’m married until the DJ announces me as Virginia Gaskarth.
We listen to all the speeches—Jack’s highly suggestive speech, Grace’s tear-jerking speech, Alex’s parents’ speech about how much I’ve changed him, and my mom’s speech about how much she hopes I don’t end up like her (not exactly, but that was the message in it). Dinner is amazing, and then there’s the first dance.
I told Alex that he could pick our wedding song, and I don’t want to know what it is until the second we step onto the dance floor and the music starts.
He leads me by my hand onto the center of the dance floor and wraps one arm around my waist, pulling me close when the music starts. He slides his hand into my other and holds it just about elbow-height, and I rest my hand on the side of his neck.
The guitar of the song entirely gives it away. “I love this song.” My lips pull into a smile.
“I know,” he replies. “I’ve been paying close attention. This song just fits us and our story.”
I kind of furrow my eyebrows and wait for an explanation, but he just pulls me closer to his body and sings along in my ear. “Marry me if I ever get the nerve to say hello in this café.”
And it clicks. I can’t not love his perfect song selection. It brings tears to my eyes, and I actually let go of his hand to cup his face and pull his lips to mine. “I am so in love with you.”
He smiles, leans his forehead on mine, and continues singing along, “Promise me you’ll always be happy by my side. I promise to sing to you when all the music dies.”
There’s no way to explain how he makes me feel, even with something as simple as this. My heart swells and beats really fast, my chest gets warm, and my knees start to shake. Sometimes my hands get cold and all the blood rushes to my face. Sometimes I think my stomach is going to burst from the butterflies.
The rest of the reception is filled with dancing, alcohol, and a beautiful time with my friends and family. Cass pulls me over to her as she’s dancing with Rian. “I left a little present in the suite for you,” she shouts over the music. She winks and pulls me over to dance.
“Do I want to know?”
She just nods and wraps her arm around Rian’s neck after he presses his lips to it. I smile at the two of them. “I haven’t seen Alex since our dance. I’m going to go find him.” Cass smiles and wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. I laugh and head to find my new husband.
Just as I expected, I find him with Jack at the bar. I make myself some room and see Jack’s line of shots and Alex’s glass of beer. “Hey, baby,” he greets warmly, wrapping his arm around me. “Do you want a drink?” I shake my head. “Yeah, I’m in the same boat.”
“I just want to remember enjoying this night.” He smiles.
“Me, too.”
“I’m totally not going to remember this night,” Jack slurs. He moves from his spot to squeeze between us and throw his arms around our shoulders. “I sincerely hope that the first married fuck is everything Colussy said and more.”
“Get off, asshole,” Alex laughs, shoving his best friend back to his previous location next to Zack.
I smirk and lean in close next to Alex’s ear. “For our sake, I hope so too,” I whisper. Alex’s immediate reaction is to lean back and stare at me for a good thirty seconds.
“I fucking love you.” I smile and press my lips to his. “Let’s go dance with some of our guests.”

“Put me down!” I squeal, locking my arms tightly around Alex’s neck and kicking my legs. He wedges the hotel door open with his foot after sliding the card through it.
“Oh, you mean like this?” He drops me right onto the bed. The white fabric of my dress flies into my face. I feel his lips softly on the inside of my knee. His head appears from the white mess, and he climbs over me. “What is that?”
I furrow my eyebrows and push him off, turning to find what he was looking at. A little black box with a red bow. “That’s from Cass,” I laugh. I pull the box over and rest it in my lap. Alex takes a seat behind me, his hands running over my body and lips pressing against my neck. “You make it so hard to concentrate.”
He undoes the top button on my dress. “Such a shame.” I open the box. Alex immediately lifts his head off of my shoulder in interest. “Maybe not.”
“Oh my god.”
I lift the white lace lingerie out of the box. “For the love of god and my penis, please put that on.”
I stand up off of the bed. “Let’s save this for the honeymoon. Why don’t you take this dress off of me? I promise you won’t be disappointed.” He smiles and stands, too. He admires the dress for a moment from in front of me and then turns me. His hands trace my sides before he unbuttons the dress. I feel the soft fabric slide down my body.
“You, Mrs. Gaskarth, are a piece of work with a fabulous ass.” I smile at the red and white lingerie Grace, Cass, and I picked out special for tonight. Alex’s hands rest on my waist, and he kisses my shoulder. I lace my fingers through his. He turns me back around to face him. His lips linger on mine. “You are so beautiful.”
Our lips collide slowly, giving him time to sensually run his hands up my sides and back. He undoes the clasp on my bra, and I pull his tie loose. I push against his chest until he crawls onto the bed. “I love you so fucking much, Alex.”
“I love you, too, Mrs. Gaskarth.”
Let me just start by saying how right Colussy was. Alex and I have never been much of the go-all-nighters, but holy shit. We can’t seem to get enough of each other—the way his hands grasp my hips to guide me, his hot breath against my neck, our fingers lacing, my nails dragging across his skin, him pushing my hair out of my face, the sweat in the sheets, the way our names roll off of each other’s lips breathlessly, and those four words with a whole new meaning.
♠ ♠ ♠
and i won't let you go.
i need you to know
that you are my heart