My Big Fat Fake Wedding

Smackdown - December 23, 2011

Sitting on the couch in Cody's locker room with Zack and Cody, I cross my legs and bob my foot up and down impatiently. Most of the beginning of Smackdown has been Big Show talking before Mark Henry comes out.

"What's wrong?" Cody asks. He has his arm around me while we sit together since Zack is with us.

"Nothing. Just bored." I rest my head on his shoulder for emphasis making him chuckle.

"How about going to get changed into what you're wearing when you walk out with me? Our match is first."

I frown at the television screen and shrug. "Okay. Better than watching this snorefest." I stand up and grab my bag before walking into the showering area to change since it's blocked off from view and strip off my shirt and jeans.

Julie from wardrobe suggested I tap into my inner Lita and start wearing things to embrace the badass look for my bad girl image. I strip down to my underwear and slip on this punk rocker looking mini skirt and tie back crop top with calf length black wedged boots that zip up. Leaving my hair the way it is, I walk back out where the guys are and drop my bag next to the couch. Their eyes never leave the screen so I shrug and walk over to the door.

"I'll be back." I call over my shoulder before leaving the room. I walk down the hallway towards wardrobe and makeup to see if Julie approves of my outfit. On my way I get a few glances from superstars who just smile at me or nod. I ignore them and walk past.

In wardrobe Julie is sitting down and sewing somebody's ring gear when I walk up. "Well?" I say turning around. "Better?"

She looks up from her work and grins. "Woo! Look at you."

"Did I embrace my inner Lita?" I smile.

"Yes you did. It looks good! Now just head to hair and make-up and you'll be good."

I nod and turn before walking over to the hair and makeup area. They straighten then curl my hair a little, giving me beachy waves before doing my makeup. As soon as I'm finished, I leave the room to see that Zack and Cody are already in gorilla position. Zack's music starts to play and he heads out so I jog over to Cody. He looks over at me and his eyes widen a little as he looks me up and down.

"Wow." He says before smirking. He grabs my waist and pulls me closer to him making me chuckle. "You wear that just for me?"

"No." I laugh, pulling away.

Cody's music starts and he grabs my hand. "Yeah…whatever you say." He grins. We walk through the curtain together and make our usual entrance. Before Cody climbs into the ring and gives me his title and hoodie.

They circle the ring and lock up. Zack gets a side headlock applied, but Cody whips him off. Zack quickly shoulder blocks him down, and Cody just as quickly takes him down with a drop-toe-hold. Cody applies an arm bar, but Zack fights up and backs him to the corner. Cody whips him to the corner, and he runs into Zack's elbow. Zack jumps over him and hits a pair of arm drags. Zack applies an arm bar, but Cody fights up. Cody puts him in the corner, and the hold is broken. Cody punches him, and he sends him to the corner. Zack slingshots over him, and he hits another arm drag. Zack applies an arm bar, but Cody fights up and whips him off. Zack goes for another arm drag, but Cody blocks it. Cody winds up hitting him with an uppercut and throwing Zack out of the ring.

Zack quickly gets in the ring as Cody is showing off for the crowd. Zack clocks him, but Cody comes back and clotheslines him over the top rope. Zack lands on the apron, and Cody kicks him off to the floor. Zack kicks him as he gets out of the ring. Cody gets up, and he pushes Zack into Booker T. Cody throws Zack back into the ring, and he stares at Booker as he stands up at the commentary table.

"Sit down!" I yell at him making him sit down. I receive a chorus of boos and some whistles from a bunch of drunk guys in the front row. The show has barely started and they're already drunk. How pathetic is that?

Cody send Zack to the corner. Cody runs into an elbow, and Zack charges at him, but Cody hits him with an Alabama Slam for a near fall. Cody applies a hammerlock/chin lock combo. Zack fights up, and he goes into the ropes. Zack ducks a few clotheslines, and he goes for a flying cross-body block, but Cody ducks it. Zack hits the ropes hard, and Cody covers twice for a near fall. Cody applies the same submission move. Zack fights up, blocks a whip to the turnbuckle, and they bump heads. Both men are down now.

They both get up at the same time. Zack ducks a clothesline, and he hits a pair of forearms. Zack hits a face-buster, and he backs to the corner. Zack hits a running forearm in the corner, and he follows up with a Broski Boot for a near fall. Zack goes for a missile dropkick, but Cody blocks it. Cody goes crazy on him with some kicks.

Booker T gets on top of the commentary table, and he says he's in the holiday spirit, so he'll sing a song for everybody. Booker T starts singing, "Cody The Red Nosed Reindeer." Cody isn't happy about this. Cody then turns into a Rough Ryder, and Zack picks up the win!

Booker T has one more verse of the song. "Cody with your nose so bright, you just got beat down... tonight." Booker T laughs as his music hits. Zack already left so it's just Cody and I. I wait for Cody to climb out of the ring before we head back up the ramp glaring at Booker. Booker T high fives Josh Mathews.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" Cody asks as we make it to the back. I think about this for a moment then shrug.

"I don't know. Maybe we can…" I start to say as a crew member walks up to us.

"Hey you two. Vince wants you to talk to you two." The guy says before walking away. I turn to Cody who just shrugs. We walk together to his little office and knock on the door.

"Come in." We hear Vince say through the door. Cody opens the door and motions me inside and walks in behind me. To our surprise, and my dismay, Kelly is also in the office. She's sitting on one of the chairs and smiles at Cody when he walks in. I quickly wrap an arm around his and shoot her a glare I feel Cody then grab my hand and intertwine his fingers with mine.

"I bet you're all wondering why I called you in here." Vince begins. We all nod and he continues. "I called the three of you in here to discuss your storyline… we need more from the ladies. I can feel the tension in the room right now between you two but on screen, I see anger but I need to feel the heat. You both need to step it up."

"Do you have any suggestions, Mr. McMahon?" Kelly asks him sweetly. I roll my eyes. She's such a kiss ass.

"Well we'll need more confrontations between you two. Attack each other. Yell at each other. Challenge each other!"

"Wait…Are you giving us free reign?" I ask.

"Of course not! This is a show. After you leave here I want you to talk to creative. See if you can work out something exciting."

"But.." Kelly started to object but Vince dismisses us and we leave the office. The three of us start walking to Creative and Cody and I stop right in front of the door while Kelly walks inside. As soon as Kelly disappears inside, Cody turns to me.

"Since it's just you two that need to talk to creative, I'm going to go shower and change." He says. "Then I'll meet you in catering. Deal?"

I let go of his hand nodding. "Deal. Now go clean up. You stink." I joke with a smirk.

"I what?" He grins standing closer to me. Chuckling I push him away.

"Ewwww. Go shower!" I laugh. He smiles at me before walking away. I watch him laughing before shaking my head and going inside.

About an hour later, Kelly and I reemerge from the room. Inside they decided to talk to us one on one to decide what to do so we have no idea what the other has planned. Kelly quickly turns to me smiling which catches me a bit off guard. "I can't wait for this." She smirks. I give her a confused and annoyed look.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

She shrugs and pushes past me. "You'll see….see you Monday." She scampers off and I start to think. What could she possibly have in store for me Monday? Shaking my head I start toward Catering where Cody's waiting and talking to….Ted.

I cautiously approach them wondering what the hell is going on. As soon as I'm close enough, they turn to me. "Hey!" Cody smiles brightly at me. "Ready?"

"Hey…ready for what?" I glance at Ted but he just smiles.

"To go."

"Go where?" Was it just me or was the room moving a little bit?

"Well Ted and I were talking about it and we decided on a place but it's a surprise."

Great. Why is everyone so fond of surprises lately?

"Okay…"

The guys both stand up and Cody grabs my hand and we head out to the parking lot.

We pull up to this huge wooded arena with this huge shack thing to the side. "Where are we?" I ask. They grin at each other saying nothing before getting out of the car. Ted opens my door and helps me out and the three of us walk up to the shack.

We walk inside and we're met by a strong paint aroma that I stand there for a moment before Cody nudges me to walk again. There's a middle aged guy behind a big paint stained counter who smiles at us.

"Hey! " He greets. "What can I do for you folks?"

Ted steps up to the counter while Cody and I stay back. "We're here to battle." Ted smiles. I give Cody a confused look but he just smiles.

"Alright. Balloons or guns?"

"Balloons." Ted replies.

"Mixed or single colors?"

"Single. One for each person."

The guy nods and pulls out a poster and I turn to Cody. "What the hell is going on? What are they talking about?"

Before he can answer, Ted walks over to us while the guy disappears into the back. "Three colors, suits and masks. 50 balloons each."

"What are we doing?" I ask again.

"Paint balloon fight." Ted grins. He smiles at me and I blush slightly as a wave of awkwardness passes over me. This feels like I'm on a date with both Ted AND Cody. It's just weird.

The guys talk while I look around and I feel somebody touch my hand, I look over and Ted smiles. The guy comes back a few moments later with three suit and masks while a younger guy comes out with three bags. They walk over to us and hand us each a suit, mask and bag before directing us to the changing area. We carefully hang up our bags before putting our suits on to protect our clothes from the paint and secure our masks on our faces. The guy also gives us each a pair of boots so our shoes don't get ruined. "Hey Cody." Ted says. Cody turns to him. "How does it feel to wear a mask again?" He laughs.

"Shut up." Cody laughs. We carefully grab our bags and walk out to the field The comes over the loud speaker and tells us the rules and restrictions before having us turn so that our back is towards the field. He tells us to go hide one at a time before sounding the bell to signaling us to go.

I sneak around a few bales of hay before seeing the top of Cody's head and start toward him. Little did I know that Ted was behind me and smashed a balloon on my shoulder, splattering me with green paint.

I look at my now green shoulder and gasp. "You jerk!" I laugh. He smiles and run off and I pursue him only to get hit with blue paint on my stomach by Cody.

"That's it!" I declare taking out two balloons. "This means…" Another blue and green balloon hit me on each side. "WAR!" I run straight towards Cody. He raises a balloon but I fling a one at him first hitting him in the arm before dodging behind a brick wall. I turn just in time to see a green and blue balloon hit the ground making me smirk. Keeping close to the wall I peer around and see….nobody. I move out a little more and still see nobody. As I wonder where everyone is , somebody pops a balloon on my head and the paint drips down to my neck. I hear Ted's laugh as he runs away and I start to follow him before stopping. I don't want to reveal myself just yet.

I turn to start running and see Ted running across the field as blue balloons fly through the air. Some splatter on the ground while a few catch him on his neck and shoulder. Cody looks around for me and I sneak over and hit him with three balloons on his back so that he has purple dots on his back and butt.

I run away cackling and see a blue balloon whiz past me. "HA! You missed me Codes!" I yell a little too soon since a green balloon hits me on the chest.

"I didn't!" Ted laughs. We go at this for a good two hours until we finally run out of balloons and walk back the shack to change. Cody had his mask on the side of his face showing off his green and purple hair thanks to Ted and I and purple paint on his right ear for when I was aiming for Ted on the other side of him and got him instead. He got me back with two blue ones on my ass.

We get back to the shack and take off the boots, masks and suits and get back into our car. We get back to our car and ride all the way back to the hotel talking about funny moments on the field.

We get to the hotel and hop into the elevator and ride up to our floor. "This was really fun." Cody says when we get out at our floor. "We should do this again sometime."

"This was really fun." I agree. "Thanks again for taking me."

We get to mine and Cody's room and wait while Cody unlocks it. Ted smiles at me and brushes his hand against mine. The door is unlocked and Cody walks inside while I stand in the hallway with Ted.

"Was that all your idea?" I whisper to him. I smile at Cody as he glances at us before slinging a towel over his shoulder.

"I'm gonna…go take a shower." He says. "Get this paint out of my hair."

"Alright." I nod. "I'll be in there in a minute."

He shoots us an uneasy glance before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door. I look around the hallway and motion him inside the room before shutting the door. "Did you plan this?" I ask him.

"No. Cody saw me in catering and started talking to me and invited me to go hang out. I didn't know it'd be the three of us."

"I didn't either."

"Last night, Cody just told me that he messed up the other night and wanted to make it up to you. I didn't think that he'd do it tonight." Ted shrugs. "He just said he wanted to bring back the old days."

Hearing this I felt the heat start to rise to my cheeks. Cody did this to make up messing up our last 'old days' night. That was so….sweet.

"But anyways I'm going to get back to my room and shower." He grins. Looking at the bathroom door then back at me he leans in and gives me a kiss before walking towards the door. "See you later."

"Yeah…" I nod. "See you later."

He leaves the room and I lie back on my bed thinking not about ted…but about Cody. How strange,