It's All About Reputation.

"Somebody told me that someone got a bit drunk at a party this weekend and did some things he's supposed to be regretting right about now." Ray sang beside me, pulling off my sun glasses and running ahead of me on our way into the school gates. Urgh, it's too early on a Monday morning for this shit, I thought to myself as I sped up to catch Ray. The sun felt like a massive weight on my shoulders (and in my eyes) without my sun-glasses, even though it was still spring and the sun wasn't shining too brightly, nor was the chilled air too cold for me to find it uncomfortable without wearing a hoodie.

"Since when did I regret things, motherfucker? Now give me my fucking sun glasses back!" I shouted to Ray, my own voice echoing in my ears and increasing my hang-over headache way more than I'd of liked. The pounding returned to my head promptly as Ray's voice echoed along side mine.

"Fair point dude, but seriously, did you really make out with that guy? The one from WhereEverTheFuckHighSchool? You'd met like, 5 minutes before?" Ray said, returning my sun glasses as I shifted uncomfortably, putting them back on. A few memories flashed by my minds-eye from the night before, causing the cocky little voice in my head to announce to everyone (but really just myself) the mistakes I had made.

You did more than make out with that fucker...

"It was more like five seconds before.. But yeah... It was weird, but he was a good kisser... From what I remember." I said, chuckling lightly. Yes, definitely a good kisser. We walked up the faded-grey stairs and into the slightly less faded grey halls of our High School, the school we practically owned. Yes, we were those guys. I nodded at a few chicks waiting by my locker and heard a few whispers surrounding me and Ray, mainly shit like;

"He's so hot!"
"I'd do anything he'd ask.."
"I wish he'd just like marry me already!"
"I heard he's good in bed.".

"I heard he's into guys."

The last one took me by surprise and I could barely hear them all giggling and chatting about my little appearance at Bob's party over the now, very loud, beating of my heart in my chest. I'm not into guys.. Who'd say that? I turned around to see who had said such a thing, but the girls had gone, leaving Ray as my only company. He gave me an awkward smile and then hugged me, telling me that he was going to be late or something, leaving me now completely alone. I hated being alone in the corridors.. I'd always been around lots of people. I'd always had people fussing over me and telling me how special I was, so being alone really scared me. When you're alone, you don't have anyone to run to when you fuck up. There's nobody to fix your mistakes... And that's what worried me.

I glanced around once more, before running to my next class.. I didn't want to be alone any more.

---

As I exited my final class for the day, I was met by Ray waiting outside of my classroom. I guess he'd skipped Physical Ed again.

"Sup, Loser." I was greeted by my best friend. I laughed at the all too common insult. "Kidding. You know I love you, dude. Oh and also? I heard some kids talking about the party the other night.. What the fuck did you exactly end up doing with that guy?" My head spoke up quickly before I had a chance to.

Oh, Ray. Wouldn't you like to know?

"Just made out with him. Why? What's been said?" I asked curiously. Although I already knew what people had seen, I was determined to find out what had been said. I mean, if people were going around making me seem like a faggot or some shit, that isn't cool...

"I've heard a lot more than that, James. You'd better be careful with what you do in front of the public... You know how easily your reputation could be taken away and people would start pushing you into lockers and calling you a faggot again. That kind of shit happens, dude, and you know it does because we do it. Hell, if you were a faggot, I'd be pushing you into lockers." Ray teased lightly, pushing my shoulder and smiling at me. I laughed at his stupidity.

"I wouldn't fuckin' blame you, man. I'm not a fag, Okay?" I said reassuringly to him, hugging him lightly.

"Good. Wouldn't want our friendship to be ruined over some stupid choice, right?" He asked. I nodded softly to him and we both turned to exit the school walking side by side out of the main doors.

I wasn't a fag and I never would be... But it isn't a choice, right? Who would choose to be picked on and abused over a choice? That just wouldn't make sense... Love is love, isn't it? Who said I couldn't believe that much. I mean, just because my friends treat gay people like shit doesn't mean I should, does it? I have morals.. I think that people can't fall in love with just anyone. There's such a thing as soul mates and true love, as gay as it sounds. But I'd always been told how wrong it was. It's a choice between keeping my friends or speaking my opinion.

And fuck it... I'd rather keep my reputation.

I could always keep quiet about how I believe we don't choose who we love.

It was worth it...

Is it? My head questioned lightly.