There Is No Void That Can’t Be Covered With Love

I’d never felt so alone; in a place I didn't fit in; in a place so cold that I couldn't bare to stay in my own skin for much longer. There was a gaping void in my heart. But then, I discovered the one place I actually felt comfortable with who I was, the place I could call my home. In that sweaty and cramped crowd I stood with my family. Warped Tour, my forever home.

I remember eagerly standing there; waiting to see my dedication, inspiration. I was going to be in the presence of the man I idolized most of my life, his name being Austin Robert Carlile. Death had almost consumed my soul until Austin’s soothing and caressing voice, coming from the tiny devices shoved in my ears, reclaimed me from the clutches of its frigid hands. Being at the Warped Tour stage he was going to perform at, I fought off the bodies of a thousand people, storming my way to get to the barricades to reach the best view of the man I owed everything to.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WARPED TOUR, VENTURA?!?!”

I pushed myself through the last two bodies blocking my view of the band who I loved more than the world could possibly understand. As my head peeped through and my body followed, I could not help but freeze still as my brown eyes spotted the most handsome, angelic man that walked the planet.

“I hope you guys are ready to open some pits up! This first song is called The Great Hendowski. WE ARE OF MICE & MEN!!!”

I couldn’t believe my ears, my heart skipped a beat. Austin Carlile was about to sing the song that saved me from my early grave. I sang along as loud as I possibly could until the tears started to form in my eyes. There was no way I didn’t see this coming, the water poured down my rosy red cheeks but I still kept on screaming every single word that came out of Austin’s mouth. Then, Aaron began to recite the words:

“You're too young to live this way
Just look around and see
That life is beauty”

And at that moment, Austin had begun to stare my way. It felt as if he was staring past my eyes into my broken soul. He was. His part of the song was coming up again and he jumped off stage down to the barricade. The weight of a million people rushed up against my back and crammed my stomach up against the gate that separated me from my dream man. The tall, beautiful man made his way and stood right in front of me. He reached for my hand, clutched it in his tattooed one, and opened his mouth:

“How can you smile, when this life is all we've got?
There's no hole inside, no time that's long enough,
That can't be saved or healed
There's nothing that can't be covered with love”

Was I in heaven? Did I actually perform the deed I longed to do to myself and end up in a dreamland where I controlled what was happening? No, I didn’t, it was all real. Austin Carlile sang to me, to ME. When Aaron began to sing his part again, Austin, still holding on to me, reached for his back pocket with his other hand and took out a square card-like object. People to the left and right of me were screaming at the top of their lungs, reaching out for the man who devoted himself to saving the lives of every person he could. They tugged and pulled at him, but Austin managed to take that square item and put it in my hand. I held on to it as tight as I could, making sure no one around me tried to steal the most precious piece I guarded in my hand. The card had read “Vans Warped Tour ALL ACCESS”. My head was spinning and I felt as if I were floating on a cloud. My hero had just handed me his all access pass… but... why?