Long Live Us

Later that night Jack and me went back to my house and hungout for a bit. He left sometime after dinner and i fell asleep, i was beyond exhausted. The next morning i woke up to someone shaking me, i got startled and rolled out of the bed and hit my head on my nightstand.

"Oww" i whined

"Damn" i heard Jack say and i looked up and he was smiling at me

"You suck!. God i think my brain is damaged" i said

"Your fine. Its 7:00 dude!, get dressed we need to head to school" he said

"Seriously?. I slept for 12 hours?!" i said getting up

"Mhm. Your mom said you were just like completely passed out, basically dead to the world. She didnt have time to wake you because she needed to go to work so she had me do it" he said

"Goddamn" i said pulling off my shirt

"Yep, also. She said to make sure you take your pill" he said

"Im good" i said changing

"Dude, your anxiety will like go insane if you don't" he said

"Honestly Jack, i could care less. Im not taking that anymore" i said pulling on clean pants

"Alex-" he started and i cut him off

"Jack, im good. I love that your so caring, but im good. I gotta pee and then we can hit the road" i said going into my bathroom

When we got to school i was totally fine, i dont need medication. As the day passed i just started to feel overwhelmed and like i needed to cry. Later during study hall i walked into the class and laid my head on Jack, he laughed and pat my head.

"Aww, so affectionate" he said and Rian laughed

"No" i mumbled into his shoulder while i sniffed back tears

"Alex, are you okay?" he asked

"Mhmm" i said

"You are lying. I know it, whats up?" he asked pushing me back and he put his hands on my shoulders

"Im good" i said as a tear rolled down my cheek

"God, Alex are you crying?" he asked a little worried and i laughed a little

"Jack, i feel like im losing it. Crying for no reason" i said

"Thats why you take your medicine, so you dont have random crying sessions in the middle of class" he laughed pulling me in for a hug

"I hate the way that medicine makes me feel. I refuse to take it" i said

"Its like without it your a ball of nerves, a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. And its either your having panic attacks or apparently just randomly bursting into tears. With it you-" he started and i cut him off

"Seem like im high?, yeah medication is really great" i said sarcastic

"I wasnt gonna say that. I was gonna say you seem more at ease. Even when your not having panic attacks i can just see the anxiety in you, i think those pills are good for you" he said

"No" i said

"Alex i think hes right, i mean look at you" Rian said

"What?. You've seen me cry before" i said

"Not over absolutely nothing. Dude your anxiety just seems to be getting worse day by day" he said

"Thanks Rian, your such a friend. So damn encouraging" i said sarcastic and a bit mean

"No need to be a dick, im just expressing the obvious. I care about you dude. We all do" he said and i rolled my eyes at him as a girl named Lola handed Jack a tissue to hand to me. I was so embarrassed to say the least, nobody wants to be seen crying

"Dude. I think you should continue the meds" Jack said handing me the tissue

"I think i can handle myself!. I know my mind and how it works, i dont need any of you pressuring me into somthing i dont feel comfortable with!" i snapped at Jack and the entire class looked at our table

"Mr. Gaskarth, be quiet or you can leave" Mrs. Davies said, shes the teacher who ran the study hall

"Im sorry" i said feeling like i was gonna cry again

"Do you need to excuse yourself?. Maybe go to the bathroom and clean yourself up?" she asked coming over and talking low to me so only my table could hear

"Yeah" i said nodding and she took a piece of paper off the table and wrote pass on it and handed it to me and i left the class

I went to the bathroom and cleaned all the tears off my face. I walked back to class and Mrs. Davies told me and Jack to head down to guidance, im guessing she talked to him. We walked into the guidance office and the nurse was there and she motioned for us to sit down, she looked pretty serious which made me nervous .

"So Alex, i heard about what happened in class" the guidance counselor said

"Mhm" i said

"And apparently your on some anxiety medication?" she asked

"Yes" i said

"And according to what Jack told Mrs. Davies, you skipped it?" she asked

"Yes" i said

"Why?, its medication to help you. I dont get why you would think it was smart to skip it" she said

"I just didnt like the feeling i got from it" i said and the nurse sighed

"Alex. You need to take your medication, its clear that you do. We cant have you having emotional breakdowns in class" she said

"This is the first time its ever happened!. Whats the chance of it happening again!?" i said annoyed

"Alex with the way you are, its likely to happen again" she said

"So now you think im just a total emotional mess, im just destined to breakdown again. Maybe i need to be locked up to?. Is that where your getting at?" i said

"Not at all!. You are perfectly fine, just horribly anxious. The medicine will help with that" she said

"I dont know" i said

"Even just take half. If not a whole one then half. This cant happen again Alex, if it does we will have to call your mother in for a meeting" she said

"You guys are honestly over reacting. Your blowing things out of proportion" i said

"Well Alex, when your having breakdowns for no explained reason. In the middle of class. We take it seriously here" she said and i sighed

"Jack!. Can you believe this!?" i said

"You do need to take it dude, i hate to say it. But you do. It kills me to see my best friend like this" Jack said

"You and Rian are out to get me today huh, is that it?" i said

"No. Were just concerned dude!, we love you. Your our best friend" he said

"Whatever" i said

"Im sending you home today with a note for your mother" the guidance counselor said and i laughed

"You can hand it to me but i'll just throw it away" i said and Jack shook his head

"Jack, if i give it to you. Will you give it to his mother?" she asked him

"Yeah of course" he said and she handed him a envelope

"I cant believe this" i said

The day went by extremely slow, i just wanted to go home and sleep. Me and Jack went to my house after school and just hung out. When my mom came home Jack went into the kitchen and handed her the note, i heard her yell my name and i walked in and she looked pissed.

"I cant believe you!" she said

"What?" i asked

"You didnt take your medication?" she asked

"No" i said

"Alex you need to!. This medicine is to help you. I dont know if you realize this but you have a generalized anxiety disorder and you absolutely need this medicine" she said

"So i can function properly, right?" i said annoyed

"Basically. Alex, your more prone to panic attacks without it. You took the pill once and thats it, give it a chance" she said

"Mom i can't. Its to much, i felt horrible yesterday. I felt sick and so tired i couldnt even think, the dose is to high" i said

"Well then cut it in half" she said and i sighed

"Fine" i said

"Okay. Im gonna change and then im starting dinner, you and Jack can go do whatever" she said hugging me and she went upstairs

"Im sorry" Jack said

"Its fine. Guess im just gonna have to live with it" i said

After dinner Jack had called up Elyse, we had band pratice tonight and i guess he told her about the band today. The three of us headed over to Rians and we started practice. It was going really well until i felt a panic attack coming on, i stopped playing and took of my guitar and handed it to Zack.

"Alex?" Jack asked and i could see Elyse looking at me worried

"Dude. You alright?" Rian said grabbing my arm and i flinched away

"I think I'm having a panic attack" i said and Jack grabbed me in a tight hug

"Relax" he said

"Jack please!- god i cant breath!, someone get him off me" i said pushing him away but it wasnt working

"Jack come on. Thats not gonna help, its only gonna make it worse and you know it. Let him go" Rian said pulling Jack off me

"God Alex, what are we gonna do with you" Jack said as Rian forced me to sit down