Status: Currently under editing!
Cracked Porcelain
Chapter IV: My Little Glass Doll (Steel, Matty.)
October 19
I don't give two fucks!
Those five words seem to be endlessly running around my head. Faster. Louder. I can't make it stop! I just want it to stop! It's not like I care or anything! What? It's true, why would I give two shits about who she's here with? Exactly, I don't! She's just one girl having coffee with some guy on a Sunday afternoon at Sip It, no big deal. It doesn't matter that the girl happens to be my little glass doll, whose name I still don't know. It also doesn't matter that I've never seen the guy she's with and that he isn't exactly ugly. And I certainly don't give a shit that she half smiled once or twice and I've never seen her do that before! Honestly I really don't care that he's casually touching my porcelain doll. And I really don't care about how that should be me. I don't give two fucks!
. . .
Okay so maybe I care a little bit? Alright fine maybe I care more then "a little bit." Maybe I care so much that as soon as they walked in together I felt my heart plummet straight down into my stomach acid and the whole world crumble around me. Maybe I care so much about a girl I don't even know that it seemed like time stopped and all I could see was her with him. And maybe I cared so much that all I could do was pay for my coffee, go outside, light up a cigarette and call up a friend of mine, because in that moment all I wanted to do was be numb . . .
. . . like my little glass doll.
I don't give two fucks!
Those five words seem to be endlessly running around my head. Faster. Louder. I can't make it stop! I just want it to stop! It's not like I care or anything! What? It's true, why would I give two shits about who she's here with? Exactly, I don't! She's just one girl having coffee with some guy on a Sunday afternoon at Sip It, no big deal. It doesn't matter that the girl happens to be my little glass doll, whose name I still don't know. It also doesn't matter that I've never seen the guy she's with and that he isn't exactly ugly. And I certainly don't give a shit that she half smiled once or twice and I've never seen her do that before! Honestly I really don't care that he's casually touching my porcelain doll. And I really don't care about how that should be me. I don't give two fucks!
. . .
Okay so maybe I care a little bit? Alright fine maybe I care more then "a little bit." Maybe I care so much that as soon as they walked in together I felt my heart plummet straight down into my stomach acid and the whole world crumble around me. Maybe I care so much about a girl I don't even know that it seemed like time stopped and all I could see was her with him. And maybe I cared so much that all I could do was pay for my coffee, go outside, light up a cigarette and call up a friend of mine, because in that moment all I wanted to do was be numb . . .
. . . like my little glass doll.
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Well this is chapter 4! I hope you enjoyed reading it. I think I'm going to start chapter 5 right after I post this so that may or may not be out soon. Anyways thank you for reading! Please comment I'd appreciate your feedback.