Cracked Porcelain

November 3

As soon as I walked into Discount Books to start my four hour shift Catherine, my boss's daughter, tossed me the keys to the small book store, mumbling something along the lines of "Lock up at nine." and casually strolled out without another word. I didn't take her behavior personally, that's just how Catherine was, in fact if I were to ever consider someone a real friend it would probably be her. Although she was almost twenty years old she was a petite little thing with a cold attitude. She had a baby face which contrasted with her long black hair that was half shaved and half ratted up into deadlocks, both her arms were covered in colorful tattoos filled with meanings beyond my comprehension and quite a few face piercings. I had a theory that Catherine was one of those people that weren't hugged enough as a child but that was her business.

I stuffed the keys into my back pocket, clipped my name tag on and began to scan the shelves looking for a good book to shove my nose into for the next four hours. To be completely honest with you I didn't take this job for the pay check, which wasn't much if you were wondering, I applied for the job because I loved reading and what better way to get through more books than by spending all my spare time at a book store. Besides that there was something comforting about the smell of aging books and the sound of old records faintly playing througout the store. After a few minutes of digging I grabbed Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky off the shelf and took my place behind the counter. As soon as I was comfortably seated my phone began to vibrate for the seventh time, I gazed down at my device only to see a once cute picture of me and Jack sharing a tire swing with the contact I.D of "Jack Rhodes ❤"

Ignore.

Time passed and I got further and further within the book. My phone continued to vibrate with voicemails, ignored phone calls and texts. People came and went, some buying books or records others only reading the titles then moving on to find something else to put their grubby little hands on. It was about an hour into my shift when the little bell chimed over the door for the umpteenth time signaling that yet another potential customer had casually strolled in. If I were to give a warm welcome to every Sue and Bob that came in here I'd be wasting my energy since half of them didn't end up buying anything. I simply turned to the next page of my book and mumbled, "Welcome to Discount Books, where there's always a discount."

There was a short pause before I heard masculine footsteps walking toward my direction followed by the oddly recognizable aroma of faded cigarette smoke and black cherries. A small feeling was whelling up in the pit of my stomach that I had only felt around two people, and I wasn't in the mood to see either. I wanted nothing more to gaze up and finally look this cryptic intoxicating male straight in the eyes and confess just how insane he makes me feel, but at the same time I was paralyzed with thoughts of how things ended up the last time I got too close to the opposite sex.

"You think you could help me find something I've been searching everywhere for. . ." He paused glancing at my name tag, ". . .Magnolia Summers?"

To my surprise he spoke first catching my attention. I decided to push my fears aside and acknowledge him, slowly casting my eyes in his direction. The moment was almost too much to handle. As soon as our eyes locked time seemed to stop, the world around us blurring and all I saw was him and some how I knew he felt the same. There he was, this tornado of a boy, standing right in front of my face his chocolate brown eyes staring straight into my golden ones with such overwhelming confidence. My thoughts drifted to three nights ago and the intamacy we shared and I longed for our lips to meet again, but this time without the bitter taste of liquor. No side things, just us. Instead of telling him all this I stated the first thing that came to mind,

"Okay, what book can I help you find?" I blurted out.

A sly smirk slid across his slighly bruised face as the heat of embarrassment rapidly spread across mine. "I never said I was looking for a book." He retorted casually leaning against the counter making the space between us even less existent.

"Then you came to the wrong place, don't you think?" I remarked gesturing to all the books surrounding us.

"Actually I've been looking for you." There was a long pause of silence between us. "Listen my names Matty Steel and you've been stuck in my head like some shitty pop lyrics since the moment I saw you about two months ago. I don't know if you noticed me or not but I sure as fuck noticed you. I can't remember a damn thing from this weekend but I sure as hell remember you, you seeing the patteren here?"

"I-I have a boyfriend, or at least I did- or almost did, I might. . .I'm not exactly sure. Things are complicated right now and I'm not exactly sure what you're asking of me. I can't-"

"Just shut up for a minute, would you?" He cut in. "I don't give a shit about your relationship with any other guy just tell me one thing, did you feel it on Friday? That undeniable attraction we have towords each other, a pull so alluring I went out of my way to fucking find you!"

"Exscuse me? Don't walk into my place of work an-"

"Tell me you didn't feel it and I will walk right out of your life and never bother you again! Look me dead in my eyes right now and tell me that you don't care. Tell me you will never question what might have been between us if you never see me again!" Matty demanded as he leaned in closer, so close that I could feel his minty breath brushing against my flushed cheeks.

There was another break of silence that filled the room.

"Fucking tell me you don't feel it!" Matty screamed taking a step back from the counter.

"I CAN'T! I can't fucking say it because then it wouldn't be true, okay! Are you happy now is that what you wanted to hear? Poor little Magnolia wants to fall in love with a completely different guy even though he's not who she thought he was but yet here she is spending all her waking time thinking about some kid she barely even knows. . . what do you want from me Matty I can't match up to the girl you think I am! I will probably never love you, or anyone for that matter, so can we just drop it!" Just then my phone decided to vibrate the photo of Jack and I reappearing on the screen. Matty noticed it too.

"Don't be like everyone else Magnolia, don't just go around putting labels on me and telling me how I feel about you. What makes you think the things you just said have to be true? I'm not asking to put a ring on your finger just for you to give me a chance, what makes that so hard for you?" Matty questioned running his hands through his thick hair.

I looked back down at my phone. "I think I should take this. . ." I trailed off.

"Are you even fucking listening! I've seriously just poured my damn heart out to you and you're talking about a phone call? You know what just for-"

"Okay! I'll give you chance! Meet me back at this book store tomorrow an hour after school is over and we can go to the movies or somehthing." I finally caved.

Apparently that was enough for Matty because the deep frown that was set on his face was replaced with that common smirk of his. Without another word he grabbed my phone, pressed decline, politly placed it back on the counter and sauntered out of Discount Books. I was left there wondering if that whole ordeal really just happened. Once I heard the recognizable chime of the book store door as Matty left I unlocked my phone, looked at Jack's name and pressed redail.