The Nanny Diaries

The whole time we were in Washington D.C., I gave the boys the cold shoulder. They tried apologizing to me, but unfortunately for them, I was really good at holding a grudge.

Even thought Lux loved being at the shows, I decided to book a tour around the U.S. capitol and see all of the historical buildings. I needed a break from the stressful environment of the concerts, not to mention every time I passed by Sasha, she gave me a wary look. I didn’t blame her.

We were on our way to Philadelphia where we would have a night show and from there, drive up to Boston. We arrived in Philly around noon and I already felt like this day was going to drag on forever.

I steered clear of the boys, no matter how loud Lux’s protests were to see Harry. I was still too angry to even speak to them. I was in the middle of playing patty cake with Lux while we were hiding on the bus when Lou interrupted us.

“Love?” She yelled out as she stepped inside the bus. She saw us playing on the floor of the bus and gave us a sweet smile. She adverted her eyes up to mine and that’s when I saw that Lou was planning something.

“Tatum, dear, we’re goin’ out for lunch. Go and give Harry Lux for the afternoon.”

I started shaking my head even before she mentioned Harry. Today was the kind of day where I just wanted to spend it in bed. Unfortunately, I was on nanny duty twenty four/seven, so instead I just wanted to hang out with Lux. At least she wasn’t going to pull pranks or verbally abuse me.

“Don’t shake your head at me, missy. Go on, get up and get dressed and fetch Harry.” She gave me a stern look then abruptly left the bus. I heaved a huge sigh as I hauled myself up off the ground. I grabbed Lux and brought her in the little bathroom with me so she could help me get ready.

I had gotten quite attached to the little girl, always involving her in my daily activities, like she was my shadow. And so I could have someone to talk to, even if she didn’t talk back.

I slipped on some olive green cutoff and a baggy white v-neck, while slipping into some brown leather sandals. I didn’t want to particularly go out today, so Lou was not getting my best. I slipped on some simple jewelry and made sure to put a light coat of bronzer on my face.

I grabbed Lux’s hand and made sure to grab her diaper bag with all sorts of stuff she needed for the day, and headed over to the boys’ bus. I stopped short and knocked on the door loudly. I patiently waited for someone to open the door and it finally swung open to reveal Harry looking pretty tired.

“Here,” I shoved the diaper bag at him and he fumbled with it for a few seconds before flinging it over his shoulder. I lifted Lux up and put her on the landing of the bus so she wouldn’t have to struggle walking up the wide stairs. She held onto Harry’s legs and waved goodbye to me as I blew her a kiss. I looked back up at Harry and was staring down at me with a surprised look on his face.

“Um, all of Lux’s essentials are in the bag. You might have to head over to the other bus if she wants toys that aren’t in there, though. She’s having a pretty good day, not too fussy, so I imagine you can handle her until I get back?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah.” He mumbled, still looking confused. I shot him a questioning look as I walked away from the bus.

I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and rang Lou to see where she was.

“Lou, where are you?” I asked before she even said hello. She laughed and told me she was in front of the venue waiting for the taxi to show up that she called for. I hung up and quickly jogged over to meet her.

She, of course, was dressed to kill. She was wearing a long black jersey maxi dress that looked fabulous on her tiny frame. She didn’t have any jewelry on except simple looking sunglasses and her purse slung over her shoulder.

She greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and started chatting away about some new makeup brand she discovered that was marvelous and surprisingly cheap. I wasn’t really listening to her, too distracted by random thoughts running through my head.

I was sort of caught up on how Harry acted around me today. He wasn’t cranky, rude, or irritated with me, which was strange for him. Usually when I breathed around him, he got annoyed. Ever since his temper tantrum in Ohio, I decided to stop analyzing every encounter we had and just ignore him. It was pointless to spend time thinking about every awful thing he’s said to me when it’s in the past.

Lou was still yapping away when the taxi finally stopped at an unknown destination, at least, unknown to me. Lou hadn’t noticed and I put a hand on her should to grab her attention.

“Lou, we’re here.” Her face lit up and she grabbed my arm and slid out of the car with me while throwing some bills at the driver. When I finally got situated on the sidewalk, I looked up at the restaurant we arrived at saw the words Osteria staring back at me.

Lou pulled me inside before I had time to take in my surroundings. She walked up and gave her name and they escorted us around the whole restaurant, before bringing to a glass-enclosed patio that was breathtaking. The ceiling was very high up and all of the walls were glass, making it feel like we were outside. I knew exactly why Lou was so eager to bring me here. It was so modern and fresh and I loved it immediately.

We sat down and someone came to take our drink orders while we looked over the menu. All of the food looked delicious and I had my eye on the wild east coast cod with broccoli orzotto and lemon breadcrumbs. The server came back with our drinks and took our order. I was surprised at how fast the service was since it was so packed in here.

Once Lou and I were alone again, she sighed and stared at me from across the table. I uncomfortably stared back at her until I couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“What’s on your mind?”

“You,” she shot right back at me. I furrowed my eyebrows. Me? She must of seen my confusion because she started to elaborate.

“Are you having fun, Tatum?” I nodded my head while sipping on my water.

“Well, you seem miserable. You can tell me anything, you know. I know you miss your family, so I’m here for you.”

My heart swelled in my chest as she said those words. I was so grateful for Lou being so nice and motherly; I decided to spill on my hardships.

“I’m having a great time…when I’m by myself.” She seemed confused so I elaborated.

“It’s the boys. They treat me like I’m their little sister, playing pranks on me and such and I can’t take it. I’m trying to work and do my job, but they just keep aggravating me.” Lou looked concerned and shook her head.

“I’ll talk to them, love. But just know that they’re just playing around and they thought you would play along like a good sport. They don’t mean any harm.” I realized that what she was saying was actually true. Maybe I had overreacted a little bit, but for good reason.

“But,” I added, “Harry’s not getting any better.”

Her face fell and I’m guessing she felt disappointed in the boy. I’m sure she hoped that he was going to act more human towards me, but it was exactly the opposite.

“I’m not gonna tell you to give him time again, because obviously that didn’t work. But I do think that you two need to spend more time together so he realizes how awesome you are.” I smiled at her kind words. She reminded me so much of my mum and I could see how they were friends when they were younger.

“That’s sweet, Lou, but the kid can hardly stand being in the same room as him. How am I supposed to ‘spend time’ with him if he doesn’t want to?” I used my hands to emphasize spend time part.

“Well, we’ll just have to figure something out, yeah? But don’t loose faith, Tatum. You’re a great person and nanny, don’t let anyone tell you different.”

By the time we finished our discussion of my problems, we were all done with our meal. I tried paying for myself but Lou refused. I didn’t press the issue and before I knew it, we were back out in the Philadelphia heat. I thought we were just going out for lunch, but Lou had other ideas for us.

“I thought we could do some shopping before we head back, yeah? How does that sound?”

I agreed enthusiastically. I hadn’t been shopping in so long. It was time that I used the money that Lou was paying me. We took a taxi across the river and in about ten minutes we were dropped in front of a store called Piper Boutique. It looked interesting, so Lou and I checked it out.

We ended up stopping at three different stores and leaving with a least two bags each time. It was nice finally spending some quality girl time with someone who actually likes my presence.

We got back to the venue around five, which was just about the time the boys started sound check. Lou kissed me on the cheek and made her way towards the dressing room where she would set up her stuff for the show.

I headed over to the boys’ bus again to fetch Lux so that Harry could get ready for the concert. I knocked on the door and almost instantly the door opened to reveal Harry. If I weren’t so shocked, I probably would have laughed.

Harry had lipstick drawn all over his face, eye shadow haphazardly applied to his lids, and he had about twenty ponytails in his hair, making the tuffs stick up straight.

“Uh…” I had no idea what to say. Do I apologize? Laugh? Say silent?

“Lux was pretty hyper today. At least she stayed away from the permanent markers.” He gave me a strained smile and handed me her diaper bag. I grabbed it silently and moved out of the way so he could pass me.

He pointed back into the bus, “she’s in there. Passed out after lunch.” He walked away then and I was speechless. Not that Lux had basically made him look like an idiot, but that he treated me like an actual human being.

I tried not to think too much of it as I slowly picked Lux up from where she was sleeping and transferred her over to the other bus. Maybe he was just having a good day. Lux always tended to cheer him up.

But no matter how much I tried to justify Harry’s actions towards me, I always felt like they were too good to be true. That if I actually believed that he was going to start acting like a proper lad, I was going to get let down. So I cleared my mind of Harry Styles and focused on the one year old that was currently drooling on my favorite shirt.