Clarity

Everything was back to normal for Lou. She was alone once again, this time in yet another unfamiliar city. Ever since she had moved in with her brother, she’d been required to follow him wherever he went if it was for longer than a few days. Considering she hadn’t been pursuing much of anything, it had been easy and almost therapeutic to drop everything and travel. Start fresh. Go somewhere no one knows your name and be able to leave in a few months.

This time was different. This time, someone had followed her there, and just like she always knew, she couldn’t handle it.

Lou sat in the hotel room bathroom, the cool marble harsh against her skin. Today wasn’t a good day. It wasn’t an average day, either. It was a bad day. Her mind raced as the tears streamed down her face. Why couldn’t she let anyone in? Why didn’t she have any real friends? Why couldn’t she live on her own at twenty-five fucking years old? Why was she such a waste of space? Why was she even alive? Just simply, why?

Lou had a common mental illness affectionately known as depression. Currently, the illness was winning.


The group of Marvel actors laughed loudly together, enjoying their dinner at the Swiss Chalet. Though it wasn’t anything fancy, it was a Canadian staple. Not one person in the group was your typical celebrity. When poutine was mentioned, they all jumped at the chance.

Jeremy had sat next to Chris knowing that Lou wouldn’t be very far, until he realized she wasn’t there at all. He had looked around carefully and waited patiently, thinking that maybe she was going to show up later, but she never did.

“Hey, where’s Lou?” He asked her brother. Chris studied Jeremy for a bit before answering.

“She’s doing her own thing tonight,” He explained.

Lou hadn’t told Chris anything about the dinner between her and Jeremy yet, but with her it was all in good time. It was something most guys didn’t understand about her. She wasn’t in a hurry to tell anyone all about herself, and with good reason. It was useless if they weren’t worth the trust. He knew that his baby sister trusted him, but even after her trust was earned she was still incredibly stoic. She kept everything inside and tried to deal with everything herself. It was part of the reason she was in her mess in the first place.

“Did you invite her here?” Jeremy pounced again.

Chris smirked at the man sitting next to him. “No, why didn’t you?”

“Touché,” Jeremy mumbled. He pulled out his cell phone and pondered his thoughts before pressing send anxiously.

The rest of the dinner went by in a blur to Jeremy. He kept checking his phone. Any sudden movement, vibration on the table from even a plate, or a text from someone else sent his heart racing. But ultimately, she never texted him back.

“Yo, Jeremy! We’re gonna catch the next showing of Django Unchained. Are you down?” Sebastian woke him from his trance. He glanced at his phone again and sighed.

“I think I’m gonna turn in early tonight,” He said, getting up with them to leave the restaurant. Chris caught up with him before he could get into his rental car.

“So she didn’t text you back?” He asked, a knowing hint to his voice. Jeremy nodded.

“Well, you have her number! It’s a start!” Jeremy was thankful for Chris’s encouragement, and he’d never really stopped to think about the fact that this was his sister. He was beginning to understand Chris’s relationship with his sister. He protected her but he also wanted her to get better; Chris thought Jeremy could help her.

“Thanks, man. I really appreciate it,” He said. Chris sent him a look that said he understood. He departed for the rest of the group, and Jeremy started up the car and headed for the hotel.

Dejectedly he walked through the hotel and into the elevator, waiting patiently as it transported him to the floor of his hotel room. He walked through the typical hotel hallway, finding himself standing in front of Chris and Lou’s room. Before he knew it he was knocking on the door. He didn’t even know if she was in the room. She was probably out-

“Chris!” Lou squeaked angrily, swinging the door open and leaving Jeremy stunned.

He stood in silence, staring at her. His eyes softened when he saw the tearstains on her cheeks. She glared at him, obviously trying to mask her insecurities.

“You’re not Chris…That asshole! He did this on purpose,” She muttered. She moved to close the door but as a reflex, Jeremy stuck his foot in the door.

“I’m not leaving,” He said softly and indignantly. “Lou, what’s wrong?”

She opened the door hesitantly, leaning her face against it as she stared at his beautiful blue eyes. This wasn’t one of their awkward silences. It was…nice? For Lou, at least. She had never expected to see Jeremy on the other side of the door. Even if her brother had flat out told him to go to her door, she knew deep down she wanted to see him again.

For the first time in years, she had wanted to see someone again.

“You can come in,” She said quickly, abandoning him at the door. She walked further into the hotel suite, turning on the TV and flopping on the couch. He watched her, closing the door behind him and slowly approaching her.

“I’m not telling you anything,” She stated without breaking her gaze from the TV show playing. Workaholics, he noted.

“I’ll take what I can get,” He replied, sitting a safe enough distance away from her on the couch. “Just know I’ll wait forever if I have to.”

“I doubt it,” Lou retorted. Forever…? Lou thought to herself. She liked the sound of that.