Status: getting der

Wasted.

It's Just Abandon

It had been a month since Jordan came to our school, and he was a really cool guy. He was awkward like Mike and I, so we decided to help him out, you know, showed him around school, ate lunch with him - shit like that.

We were currently all eating lunch outside, Jordan was telling us all about his old school, and his old bully.

"Yeah, this guy named Ronnie, he moved away last year, leaving all of us feeling safer." I tensed, Ronnie moved here last year, and was a fucking douche to me. "Jord, what was the kids last name?" I asked. None of the boys knew that Ronnie bullied me day in, day out. I guess they never noticed. Jordan looked confused for a second. "Uh, Radke I think?" I tensed even more, I know I only met Jordan a month ago, but I couldn't see him getting hurt like I have.

I stood up, dragging Jordan with me.

"Man, what the hell?" He said laughing. I looked towards him, a serious look on my face. His face changed from laughing to confused. "Oh shit dude, what's up?"

"I don't want you to get hurt Jordan." He looked even more confused than before. I sighed. "Ronnie moved here last year." Every bone in Jordan's body tensed. "W-what? No! It has to be a different Ronnie!" I shook my head. "It's Radke, he moved from you to me when he moved here." For the first time I saw Jordan tear.

"No! Shit man! Don't cry! I just thought you should know." He nodded, hugging me. I wrapped my arms around his slim torso, and by slim, I mean about 20 pounds lighter than Mike the stick. I stood back, as he held back tears. "Ton, you just don't understand what he's done to me." I nodded lightly, "I know I don't... Do you want to come over or something and talk?" He nodded, smiling lightly. "Yeah, thanks man."
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The day ended, and we were all crammed into Vic's car. "Don't bother dropping me off at home Vic, take me to Tony's!" Jordan smiled. Shit...All the guys are defiantly going to pester me. They all thought I was gay. I wasn't! Maybe I had tried some things in middle school, and maybe I enjoyed them. Doesn't mean I'm gay!

"Oh, okay!" Vic said, winking at Jaime in the front seat.

We got to my house in no time. I hugged Mike & Vic goodbye, while Vic whispered "One, get it in," He smiled before pulling away. "Two, remember what I told you that morning." He winked at me before driving off.

The three of us walked into the empty house, Jordan and I to my room in the basement.

"Ton! You play guitar?!" I turned to see my guitar in his hands. I nodded flopping back on my bed.

"So Jord, what did Ronnie do to you, to make you so scared of him?" Jordan sat at my desk, turning to me. "What I'm about to tell you, may or may not uh, anger you." I nodded at him to continue.

"Beginning of grade nine, I was the weird, gay kid with spacers and no friends.That's when Ronnie found me and just day after day would either beat the living shit out of me, or just emotionally fuck with me. My mom never really gave a shit, and my dad walked out when I was young, so I found an old friend to do my tattoo for me. The night after I got it, this kind of weird kid invited me to his party. So I went. Surprisingly, party was in full swing. So I went and got a drink, and I'll be honest here, got a little wasted. I put my drink down beside the bathroom door like a fucking idiot, pissed, came out and downed my drink. There was something in my drink, that made me black out. I woke up to Ronnie and his buddies, well, raping me."

I took everything in, blinking a few times. "So, that's why I'm scared of him.." I nodded. I stood, wrapping him tightly in my arms. He let a few tears roll down his cheeks, hugging me tightly back. "I'm sorry that had to happen to someone as perfect as you." I coughed at my own words, where the hell did that come from?

"Tony... are you gay... for Mike?" I coughed even louder, what the fuck!? "I know it's a little off topic! But I don't know the way you guys look at each other.." I shook my head violently. "Shit no! I mean we tried some shit in middle school, but no, defiantly not gay for him." We laughed it off for a while, making Jordan feel better.

"Wait, you said not gay for him? Does that mean Tony has a little crush on someone?" He said winking, causing my heart to race.. Me and Mike had put together the pieces that I had a semi crush on Jordan the first day he came, Mike found me staring at him.

Before I could answer, his phone buzzed. He slid it out of his tight jeans.

"I got to go, until next time you little shit." He winked, hugging me and running up the stairs, leaving.
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Soon Jaime came downstairs.

"Hey man, what was Vic talking about when he dropped us off?" I winced. "Oh, uh nothing.. inside joke man." He didn't look convinced.

"Don't lie to your brother dear Turtle, for I know where you're ticklish." I sighed, what the hell was I supposed to tell him? Oh hey man, I'm depressed, been cutting myself for 2 years and never told you a damn thing. He inched closer to me. "Is it because of Mom not being home a lot? You know she has work." I shook my head, keeping my mouth shut.

"Ton, tell me what's going on..." I closed my eyes, raising my sleeve a bit over my wrist. He shoved it all the way up. "Tony....." I shook my head. "Don't. Don't tell me to stop.. I can't stop.. I've been put through too much bullshit with Dad, and getting my ass kicked everyday at school to just stop" I lied down on my bed, turning away from him.

He wrapped his arms around me, laying with me. "I'm sorry you feel this way Tony, I really am. I want to help you get better, I couldn't stand loosing you and you know that. Please don't leave, come to me first. Who's hurting you at school?" I choked out Ronnies name through sobs, he nodded against my back, we both drifted into sleep.