Symphonies of the Damned

“Andy, can we talk?” Ashley asked hesitantly, as I helped him off the Ferris wheel and back on solid ground.
“Uh, sure…” I nodded, leading him towards the beach.
We sat down on a piece of bleached driftwood, facing towards the rising moon along the horizon.
Placing my hand on his thigh, I tried to think of what to say.
“I’ll start by saying thank you.” Ashley smiled. “I had a lot of fun today. I really, really did.”
“I’m glad.” I sighed, relieved.
“I don’t know how much thought you put into this, especially eating at SkyCity! I’ve always wanted to go there.”
“I know.” I replied. “I remember you mentioning that the last time we came around Seattle, a few years back.”
“You really are the greatest.”
“Thank.” I nodded. “You’re amazing too; you’re perfect in my eyes.”
“That’s what I wanted to talk about.” Ashley coughed awkwardly. “I want to know what’s happening.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, leaning forward slightly.
“You mentioned that you finally saw what it felt like, to be fucked over by the person you love… I just want to understand exactly what’s going on in your head, Andy. I want to know if I can trust you.”
Nodding, I chose my words carefully.
“Ashley…” I started, closing my eyes. “I’ll admit, at the beginning of the band, you weren’t anything great to me. You become a really good friend, and then…something happened. It wasn’t your fault I became a cheating cunt. I couldn’t take the words; the hate. That feeling of euphoria after having sex; fuck, it made me feel on top of the world. It was a feeling I craved to just…forget.
However, I loved being intimate with you. I liked you, but it wasn’t an emotion I chose to adhere. I convinced myself you were a meaningless fuck, and it worked.
Then, I just turned into a First Class Asshole. What went from an escape, became an excuse. I was a fucking…ugh! I can’t even come up with a good name to call myself.
I just, I fucking hate myself for that Ashes!
It was after Ronnie told me you liked me that I came to terms with these emotions, and realized… I might actually like you. I wanted to be with you, but I just couldn’t. For some reason, I had convinced myself it was okay to cheat on Juliet as long as it was a one-time thing, but a relationship just couldn’t happen. It couldn’t.
After I found out Juliet was pregnant, I learned where my place was. I had a responsibility to this child, and I couldn’t waste any more time playing silly games with you. Even if I wanted to.
When you and Jinxx told Juliet, I was fucking pissed! Of course, I deserved to have her drop me like that!
Later, I realized I wasn’t upset at Juliet leaving me, I was upset that I might not get to raise my baby! Jinxx is right though, if I really care, I will do everything I can to make sure it happens.
When I saw you with that one chick, a wave of jealousy just washed over me. You were who I wanted. I needed you. That night, I came to terms that I didn’t just like you…I loved you.
Ashley Purdy, I fucking love you. I love you more than I thought I could ever love anybody, and what I’m trying to say it, will you go out with me?”
Taking a breath, I let my words drift around us.
Sitting patiently, I waited for Ashley to speak or respond.
Anything.
He didn’t look shocked or unsure; he had a thoughtful expression on his face as he stared down.
He was rubbing the smooth side of a broken shell in soft circles as he hummed under his breath.
“You, you don’t understand the emotions that flashed across your face, or the tone that leaked into your words. You’ll never know the way your eyes widened at some words, and darkened in other sentences.” Ashley whispered.
There was a hint of a smile pulling at his lips.
“What I’m trying to say is, I believe you. There’s no way you could have lied through that speech. You were completely honest in every word you say, which makes me slightly upset…when you said you hated yourself.
Don’t hate yourself, hate what you had become…the person you aren’t any longer. Andy, my answer is yes.”
Grinning, I looked up from the grains of sand and stared at him.
He opened his arms out, and I threw myself at him just basking in the moment. His arms wrapped themselves around my waist tightly.
“Andy, I fucking love you.”
“I love you too!” I laughed, jumping up.
Taking his hand, I pulled him towards the water’s edge.
“What are you doing?” Ashley asked curiously, watching as I sat down on the shore and pulled my boots off.
“I feel like doing something incredibly stupid!” I shouted, tucking my socks into my shoes.
“You’re kidding.” Ashley answered flatly, shaking his head.
“Come on!” I pleaded, shrugging out of my denim jacket and loosening the tie Ashley had forced on me.
“Andy, if I get sick I’m going to fucking kill you.” Ashley threatened, unzipping his leather jacket.
He gingerly placed his jacket on top of the driftwood log, hiding his phone inside the creased pocket.
Remembering, I took my phone and wallet out of my skinny jeans and tucked them inside my jacket.
Our spare clothes were hanging a ways off.
We were left barefoot, in cuffed skinny jeans and the wife beaters under our other shirts.
“I can’t believe you talked me into this.” Ashley shivered, rubbing the back of his arms.
Laughing, I ran into the water.
It was fucking cold as fuck, but I didn’t give a shit. I was just so, incredibly happy and weightless.
“Get the fuck in here!” I yelled, waving him over.
He muttered something under his breath, before running towards me. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes I didn’t understand, until he pushed me.
I had already been knee deep in the water, and now I was fully submerged into the ice cold water.
Sputtering, I came back up with a blue face.
“Y-you ass-asshole!” I forced out, trying not to freeze to death. “W-why did you d-do th-that?!”
He was laughing, taking backward strides.
“If you were going to make me get in the water, I was going to have a little fun.” Ashley beamed.
Growling under my breath, I tried to run towards him.
Of course, it’s nearly impossible to run through water. The current was pushing against me, but I finally caught up.
Climbing his back, I escaped the waters grasp and paraded myself on my new throne.
“Get the fuck off me!” Ashley complained, grabbing at my legs.
“No!” I yelled.
He lost his balance, falling backwards into the water.
“Fuck!” I yelled, as soon as the water touched my back.
I lost my grasp on his neck, splashing into the water. My head hit against a hidden rock along the surface.
“Ow!” I yelled, sitting up and watching as Ashley fell into the water as well.
He came up for air, laughing and glaring at me.
“You’re such a fucking asshole.” He grumbled, sitting down in the water.
It was a lot warmer to be surrounded by water, than to stand in the chilling air in wet clothes.
I shrugged, rubbing the back of my head.
“Are you okay babe?” he asked, swimming closer to me.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I muttered, internally beaming that he called me babe.
“What happened?”
“I landed on a rock when you fell back.” I shrugged, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in the back of my head.
“I’m sorry.” He pouted, kissing my forehead. “Do you want to go back to the hotel?”
“Yes, please.” I yawned, sounding like a child.
He took my hand, and guided me towards our clothes. The sand stuck to our wet clothes, making me groan.
“Are they even going to let us in the hotel?” I contemplated, sitting against the log.
“I don’t know, actually.” Ashley laughed.
He picked up the plastic bag that kept our shirts from the Seattle Aquarium gift shop, and emptied it out.
Taking off his wet tank top, he wringed out the water and stuffed it into the bag.
He zipped up his jacket over his bare chest and motioned for me to do the same.
Obliging, I let out a shiver when I exposed my bare torso.
“Hurry up so we can leave.” Ashley reminded me, pulling on his Vans.
“Okay.”
By the time I was done, I had a bad headache forming.
“Let’s go.”
Taking a step forward, I lost my balance and fell against Ashley.
“Are you okay?” he asked, worried.
“Yeah, just a headache.” I mumbled, closing my eyes.
“Do you feel lightheaded?” Ashley asked. “Dizzy?”
“A little.” I trailed off, taking my phone out of my jacket pocket.
He wrapped an arm around my waist and kept me up as we walked towards the hotel.
I hadn’t paid attention to how much we had walked today, but forty minutes passed and it still wasn’t in sight.
By then, our skinny jeans had air-dried into a crisp, salty mess and the sand had brushed off.
“Are we there yet?” I complained, fingering through my damp hair and yawning.
“Almost.” Ashley promised.
“My head fucking hurts Ashy.” I whined, leaning against his chest.
“That’s what happens when you try to drown me.” He laughed, soft-heartedly.
“Shut up.” I grumbled.
We walked for another ten minutes before I could see the flashing sign of the Days Inn.
“Finally.” I mumbled, picking up the pace.
We stumbled in, taking the elevator to our floor and finding our room.
“Do you have our card?” Ashley asked, letting go of me.
“Yeah.” I muttered, reaching into my pocket.
There was nothing there but my phone and wallet. I leafed through my wallet, but it wasn’t there either.
“Fuck.” I whispered, checking the pockets of my skinny jeans.
“What…?” Ashley asked, looking annoyed.
“I might have…lost it?” I suggested, avoiding eye contact.
“Seriously?” he groaned.
“What about your card?” I accused, leaning against the door.
I was tired, wet, cold, lightheaded, and I had a really bad headache. I just wanted a warm shower, a painkiller, and sleep.
“I never got a room key…” Ashley mumbled, staring at the ceiling.
“That’s because Jinxx…has it.” I remembered, rushing down the hallway and knocking on their door.
After retrieving the card, I unlocked the door and gratefully threw myself on the only bed.
“Andy!” Ashley yelled.
“What?”
“You are not covering our only sleeping place in sand and seaweed! Shower, now.”
“Fine.” I agreed, stripping off the jeans and jacket.
Stepping into the small bathroom, I turned on the water to the hottest setting and waited for it to warm up.
Ashley walked in then, butt-ass naked and smirked at my expression. “What?” he laughed, bringing down two towels.
“I didn’t know we were showering together.” I mumbled, feeling myself blush slightly.
What the fuck did it matter?
We’ve already fucked; so what did it matter?
“Are you kidding me?” Ashley questioned. “I’m cold as fuck! You’re not going to use up all the water.”
“Alright.”
He stepped into the shower, motioning for me to follow.
Seriously, nothing felt better than a hot shower after walking an hour in dripping wet clothes.
Especially at night in Washington, after a dip in the ocean.
Well, almost nothing.
Ashley’s hands rubbing my shoulders with the scented soap the hotel provided was definitely nice too.
After we had gotten dried off and dressed into sweatpants and our ‘fuck you and your fucking’ shirts, we curled into bed.
“How’s your head?” Ashley asked, kissing my forehead again.
“Hurts.” I mumbled, turning over on my side.
Getting up, he searched through his suitcase and pulled out a bottle of aspirin and handed me two pills.
“If you’re still dizzy tomorrow, please tell me babe.” He pleaded, climbing back into bed.
“I will.” I promised, curling into his side.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” I smiled, resting an arm across his chest.