Symphonies of the Damned

[Jake's POV]

“Let’s go!”
The buses were getting ready to pull out of the parking lot; they were on their way to California.
There were only a couple dates left of tour.
Leaning against the wall, I stared at Black Veil Brides bus as it started the engine and pulled out.
There they go; happy without me.
It was pure bullshit, but it was all my fault. I was a fucking asshole.
“Jake!”
There was someone walking towards me, his black hair covering his face as the wind blew.
Silently, I stared.
“What?” I asked sullenly, when I realized it was Chris Motionless.
“We need to talk.”
“Oh, yeah?” I shrugged, glaring at the ground.
“Yes.”
He didn’t wait for a response, taking my hand and dragging me towards his tour bus.
Ricky was the only one there, talking to something in the corner.
“Where’s everybody?” I asked, feeling uncomfortable. The doors shut and the bus started up.
There goes my escape, if I needed one.
“Playing video games, or some shit.” Ricky shrugged, standing up.
He walked towards Chris, wrapping his arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his lips.
“I’ve missed you.”
“I know.” Chris smiled, gently kissing Ricky’s nose.
“You’re….” I tried to speak, but I couldn’t. There was a hint of disgust in my tone of voice.
“Do you have a problem with that?”
“Kind of.” I muttered.
“Why?”
That question slightly surprised me; I was expecting to be thrown off the moving bus or get yelled at.
That’s what Andy and Ashley would do.
“It’s…not right.” I shrugged.
“What makes you think that?” Chris asked, his voice calm and collected as he sat down.
“Just…” I trailed off.
“There’s a reason why you’re thinking that.” Chris urged. “What’s your reasoning behind this?”
Shaking my head, I bit my lip.
“There’s something you haven’t told anyone.” Chris guessed, patting the space next to him.
I shrugged.
“You can trust me…” Chris hinted. “You’ve known me for years, and I’ve never backstabbed anyone.”
Ricky stood up awkwardly, holding something to his chest and scurried to the backroom.
He was giving us needed privacy.
“We’re all alone, Jake. What’s the problem with Ricky and me? What’s the problem with Andy and Ashley?”
He was giving me a knowing look, letting me know Andy’s already talked to him about my behavior.
“It’s just…”
“You can tell me.” Chris promised. “Nothing’s going to leave this four walls, unless you say something.”
I nodded.
“Jake, are you Christian?”
“What?”
“Does this have something to do with religion?” Chris guessed. “Does it go against something you believe in?”
“No.”
“Then what? What makes you hate HAPPY, same-sex couples?”
“The fans…are going to judge them. I don’t want to lose fans over a petty thing like that.” I answered.
“It’s about losing fans?” Chris raised an eyebrow.
“Sort of.”
“Meaning…?”
“Alright, not at all.” I gave in. “It’s a long story, really.”
“Go on.”
Taking a deep breath, I stared at the patterned wallpaper. “When I was in high school, my best friend was gay. He was still my friend, regardless of his sexuality…I didn’t care.”
“Yeah?”
“Then, there was a rumor that we were dating. That we were having sex, and all this shit. It wasn’t true.” I muttered. “Being the asshole I am, I started distancing myself from him. I didn’t want to be teased and bullied for something like that. I didn’t want to be thought badly.”
“Huh.”
“It’s something I regret doing, but there isn’t anything I can do now. It was a jerk move. I don’t that to happen again. If people know Andy and Ashley are gay, they might portray the whole BAND to be some blasphemous gay bridesfest.” I shrugged.
“You don’t want them to be happy, because you’re afraid of being judged for something you’re not, just because you’re associated with them?” Chris asked sensibly.
“Alright, when you put it that way…it makes me sound bad.”
“Jake, ANY way makes you sound bad.” Chris laughed gently. “It’s nice to know you’re not a complete asshole.”
“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have turned my back to my best friend – or to my band.” I mumbled in defeat.
“What happened to your friend?”
“The teasing became endless, and he was alone…I had abandoned him.” I forced out. “He committed suicide two months before graduation.”
“Well, fuck.”
I kept silent, lost in my thoughts.
“You’re doing the same thing to Andy and Ashley, you know.” Chris mumbled quietly. “You’re abandoning them.”
“No, I’m not.”
He raised a perfectly arched eyebrow, staring at me. “You might think they’re stronger than your friend, but they still need your support in this. It wasn’t the assholes at school, or the hating fans…it was you. It was the fact that their best friend – the person they trusted turned against them, that really breaks you.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t just reply with ‘oh’.” Chris scoffed. “I’m being fucking serious Jake, you’re breaking them.”
“I just, I don’t know what to do.” I admitted.
“How?”
“It’s like a snowball effect – once I start talking, I can’t stop the words that I’m saying. I don’t know how to take them back.”
“Apologize.” Chris suggested, sensibly. “Actually mean it, asshole. Don’t just mumble a sorry and think you can rejoin the band.”
“You know they kicked me out?” I asked.
“Fuck, Jake. I’m pretty sure everyone but the fans know you’ve been kicked out.”
“What have they been…”
“They’ve told the fans you’re sick and dying.” Chris shrugged. “Jacky Vincent’s been filling in for you.”
“Oh.”
“It’s getting late.” Chris stood up. “You can sleep on the couch, but when we get to San Francisco you better kiss and make up with the rest of your band.”
“Thanks…for letting me stay.”
“No problem.”
He turned into the bunkroom, closing the door behind him.

“Meow?”
Light was streaming through the windows, and there was a slight weight on my chest.
It wasn’t an emotional sense, there was literally something on me.
Opening my eyes, I was met with the bright colored eyes of Christian’s kitten.
“Eloise?” I yawned.
She started purring, nuzzling her body against my cheek in greeting.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, sitting up and holding her against my chest.
At least someone from my band still liked me.
“You’re awake!” Ricky exclaimed happily, from his place in the kitchenette. “I see you’ve met Ashby.”
“Uh, her name’s Eloise…” I trailed off awkwardly.
“Told you she was Christian’s cat!” Chris called out, coming from the bunk room and kissing Ricky.
“Oh…”
“How did you get her?” I asked, petting her head.
“She was wandering the venue, looking lost.” Ricky shrugged. “I didn’t want to leave her there.”
“She probably got out.” I mumbled. “Fuck, CC is probably worried as shit. That was a state ago.”
We were still driving.
“You can bring her back.” Ricky offered sadly. “I don’t think we can have a cat anyway. Ghost’s allergic.”
“Yeah!” a voice called out from the back.
“Alright.”

By the time we reached the venue, the sun was overhead.
The air was scorching – gotta love Californian summers. It was nearing July already.
“Alright, Jake.” Chris spoke up. “Talk to your band.”
“Yeah.”
Thanking him for the night, I trampled off the bus and looked around the new venue.
It was an outdoor show.
Finding BVB’s tour bus, I stole inside and crept towards my bunk. The curtains were drawn shut.
Everyone was fast asleep.
Heading to my bunk, I grabbed my shower tote and a change of clothes before heading to CC’s bunk.
Eloise was in my arms, asleep.
“Christian?” I called out softly, pulling the curtain back.
He was awake, a depressed look on his face. He seemed so lost, as if something was missing.
“Jake?”
“Hey.” I smiled, hiding the kitten behind the curtain.
“What are you doing here?”
He was whispering, trying to keep from waking anybody up. He wasn’t even looking at me.
“I needed to grab some clothes.” I shrugged. “Oh, I’ve brought you this little creature.”
Placing Eloise on his chest, I watched.
“ELOISE!”
He sat up, nearly hitting his head on Ashley’s bunk above him and hugged the cat tightly.
“Mew…”
“WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN, BABY?” CC demanded, pulling her back and glaring.
“Where was she?” he asked me.
“Ricky found her.” I shrugged. “She’s been riding on Motionless in White’s bus with them.”
He nodded, drawing the curtain close and whispering to her.
Shaking my head in amusement, I went to take a shower before anyone else would wake up.
“Jake?” Ashley looked up.
“Yeah?”
“What are you doing here?” he asked softly, looking hurt. His hair fell over his face, reminding me of Ryan.
The same innocent, brown eyes. The same tan complexion and thin lips. The same black hair.
Holding up my shower tote, he nodded.
“Kay.”
He started pulling his curtain back, but I stopped him.
“Wait, Ashley?”
“Yeah?” he peered out again.
“I’m sorry.”