Symphonies of the Damned

Shrugging, I let a smile perch on my lips. “The pizza burned.” I mumbled, leaning back into his side.
“Fuck.” Ashley laughed, leaning onto my side. “What are we having for dinner now?”
“I don’t know, what do you have?” I yawned, curling into a pillow. “Unless you want to go out…”
“Sure, babe.”
“Really?” I asked, excited. “We can go out to dinner, like, on a real date and everything?”
“Fuck, you’re adorable.” Ashley smirked, kissing my forehead. “If it makes you happy, we can.”
“I love you.” I laughed, forcing myself out of bed. “Fuck, I don’t get why you never top.”
Every part of me was sore, as if I was on fire.
“Uh, because you always insist on being the dominant one?” Ashley suggested.
“Well, you need to top more often.”
“Fine.”
Trudging my way towards Ashley’s closet, I started leafing through the articles of clothing he had hanging.
“What are you doing?” Ash asked me, staring curiously.
“Trying to find something for you to wear.” I shrugged, leafing through his collared shirts.
“Isn’t this fine?” Ashley pouted, getting up and parading his bare ass in front of me with a sly smirk.
“That ass,” I slapped it. “is mine. No one else can see or touch the butt, understand?”
“Fine!”
“Here, you can wear this.” I decided, throwing a pair of gray skinny jeans and a Rolling Stones shirt at him.
“Sure, babe.”
Leaving him alone, I hurried out of the bedroom. “Fuck, get your pretty little white boy ass back in here!” Ashley called out.
“No!”
Running downstairs, I searched through my hastily packed suitcase and pulled out a pair of Batman boxers.
When I was somewhat decent, I snuck back upstairs and watched as Ashley ran a flat iron over his hair.
“ASHLEY!” I yelled obnoxiously, causing him to drop the straightener. “ARE YOU READY?”
“Fuck!” Ash shouted, turning to glare at me. “I could have burned myself, asshole!”
“Tough luck.” I shrugged, grabbing his favorite leather jacket and pulling it on. “I’m hungry.”
“Why are you wearing my jacket?” Ashley complained. “By the way, did you turn the oven off?”
“Fuck!”
Running back into the kitchen, I could hear him laughing.
Honestly, I’m surprised the fire alarm hadn’t gone off. Thick smoke was escaping from the oven.
When it finally cleared from the open oven door, there was a charred mess on the sheet tray.
“It’s…still edible.” I contemplated to myself, picking off a piece of burnt crust. “Right?”
“No, it’s not!” Ashley insisted, taking it away from me. “You better not eat that, you’ll get sick.”
“I will?” I questioned.
“Yes!” Ashley paused. “I think… I don’t know, okay? Where do you want to go for dinner?”
Taking a moment to think, I yelled out. “iHop!”
“iHop?”
“Do you have a problem with pancakes, Purdy?” I glared mockingly. “Do you hate pancakes?”
“No!” Ashley laughed. “But, you kept wanting pizza and dinner, and I’m just surprised you want breakfast now.”
“So?”
“Nothing.” Ashley shook his head. “Pancakes it is.”

--

“Where are you going, Love?” Ashley questioned, as I pulled on a dark green hoodie.
“There’s something I need to do.” I answered nervously, smoothing down the denim of my skinny jeans.
“What?”
It was the next morning, and after spending a couple hours cuddling on the couch, I had gotten up and showered.
“Juliet.” I sighed. “I need to talk to Juliet.”
“Do you want me to go with you?” Ashley asked, sending me a sympathetic smile.
“Its fine, I have to talk to her.” I shrugged. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours, alright babe?”
“Sure.”
“I love you.” I smiled, blowing him a kiss.
He pretended to catch it, pressing it to his lips before blowing one in my direction.
“I love you too.”
Locking the door behind me, I decided to walk to Juliet’s.
It was only a fifteen minute walk, and I still needed a moment to fully collect my thoughts.
I didn’t even know what to say!
I wasn’t even sure if she’d answer the door.
“What the fuck am I doing.” I groaned, as I took the final steps in to her driveway.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked on her door.
“Just a second!” her sweet voice called out. “Sorry, I was upstairs doing some laund- oh.”
She flung the door open, the smile dropping from her lips.
“Hey…” I greeted awkwardly.
“What are you doing here?” she asked flatly.
“I…I want to talk, Jules. Everything was left at a standstill – a complete mess, and I just want to…”
“Fix things?” she supplemented, leaning against the door frame.
“Uh, yeah.”
“Well, guess what?” she asked. “Fuck you! There’s nothing to fix, you cheating whore!”
“Jules, just please…let me explain.”
“Explain?” she laughed. “There’s nothing to fucking explain, Andrew! Why don’t you take it up with your new girl?”
“Girl?” I scoffed, a playful smile lingering on my lips. “Jules, I’m pretty sure I’m gay.”
“Wait, what?”
She opened the door a little more, staring at me with a guarded expression.
“That’s what I wanted to explain.” I smiled half-heartedly.
“Uh…come in.”
I followed her inside, closing the door behind me.
She led me into the kitchen, pouring a glass of champagne and getting herself a glass of green tea.
It brought a sense of relief, knowing she was taking care of herself…and the baby.
“Alright, talk.”
“I’m dating Ashley.” I blurted out, playing with the stem of the wine glass. “I’m really fucking happy with him.
“Oh.”
“That’s not an excuse to cheat, I fucking know that! I just didn’t…there’s nothing I can say that will justify hurting you, dear. I really do love you, but as a friend.”
“Why…”
“What?” I asked, taking a sip of the bittersweet liquid.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” she shook her head. “Instead of lying, and, and proposing to me?!”
“The baby.” I answered simply. “I love that baby more than my own life, and I don’t want to lose it. It means absolutely everything to me, and that’s why I want to fix things with you, Jules. Not just to have you back as a good friend, but to ensure that child has a proper family – even if one of their parents has a boyfriend too.”
She was gazing at the ground, lost in thought.
“Please, Juliet.” I pleaded. “Give me a chance, and let me show you…I really want to father that baby. I’ll be damned if I don’t try hard enough to convince you, but please.”
“Andy…”
“Juliet, this baby means a lot to me. Just think about it, you won’t have to constantly take care of it. You can always leave it with us, and we’ll take amazing care of -.”
“Andy!” Juliet interrupted, laughing a little.
“What?”
“She.”
“Huh?” I raised an eyebrow, taking in her soft expression and gentle smile.
“Yes, Andy.” Juliet nodded. “It’s a she, so you can stop calling her an ‘it’ for the love of God.”
“Oh, god…” I mumbled, trailing off.
The smile on my lips grew, as I imagined her precious eyes and tiny lips curling into a smile.
“I wasn’t going to keep you away from your baby, Andy.” Juliet shrugged. “I just wanted an explanation – and an apology.”
“Fuck, I’m so fucking sorry!” I stumbled over my words. “For hurting you, for betraying you, for lying to you. Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“Honestly, I don’t think I can forgive you.” Juliet mused, glancing at me. “But, I’m willing to give you a second chance and put that behind us.”
“Please!”
“I think I can manage that. Just don’t hurt her, or I’ll have you drowning at the bottom of the San Francisco River.”
“It’s a promise.” I nodded. “But, why didn’t you answer my phone calls?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t want to accept your apology just because you were sorry. I wanted you to really think what you did and why. I wanted you to be sure of what you wanted.”
“I’m sure.”
“Then, I think we can do this.”
“Do you have any names picked out?” I asked, finishing my champagne. “If it’s going to be a girl…”
“Honestly, no.” Juliet smiled. “I was planning on making up with you before I considered names.”
“Oh.”
After another hour debating baby names and nursery colors, I decided it was time to leave.
“I still think purple and flowery would be perfect.” I argued, slipping my hoodie back on. “With Batman of course.”
“Please, it’s going to be soft pink and Princess-y.” Juliet retorted. “She’s going to be just as spoiled.”
“And in love with Batman.” I interjected.
“And a little rock star.” Juliet added.
“Definitely.”
“Well, if she’s going to have two houses, she’s going to have two different nursery’s…”
“Good point.” I laughed. “A girl, huh? Well, I guess there goes the name Batman.”
“Yeah.”
Kissing her forehead goodbye, I hurried home.
“How did it go?” Ashley asked, from his place on the couch. He was in sweats, channel surfing.
I didn’t answer, practically skipping into the kitchen.
“Andy?”
I could hear him heave himself off the couch, and padded into the kitchen. “Did it work out?”
Shutting the fridge, I almost dropped the carton of orange juice as I faced him with a huge smile.
“Well?”
“It’s supposed to be a girl!” I announced happily, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him.