Symphonies of the Damned

[Sixteen Days Later]

“Anybody feel like going on a coffee run?” Jake spoke up.
“I’ll go.” Andy volunteered.
“I think we could all use some damn coffee.” CC grumbled. “It’s too fucking early.”
It was a little over two weeks later and our time off had flown by. I don’t remember a single thing I did.
After that dinner, I had gone home and just slept the days away. The longer I stayed in bed, just sleeping, the less I had to think.
I didn’t have to think about Andy never being mine; I didn’t have to think about the fucking engagement ring.
Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was that ring.
It was killing me.
I loved him! Why couldn’t he just see that? We’re supposed to be together, it wasn’t supposed to end like that!
We were starting the American leg of the tour already, and I couldn’t hate it any less. All I could see was the truth in Andy’s eyes.
Then again, tour made me realize no one mattered to him.
Not even Juliet and his future son; old habits die hard and this wasn’t any different from that.
“What about you Jinxx?” Jake asked.
“I think I’ll stay behind with Ashley, I don’t want to leave him alone.” Jinxx smiled, sending me a cautious look.
I hadn’t declined the offer yet, but it was already obvious I wasn’t going.
Three days on the road, and I still hadn’t gone out.
I played the shows, met the minimum fans possible, and locked myself either in the back room or my bunk.
Meals consisted of whatever was leftover in the kitchenette.
I barely talked to the other members of the band, and they gave up any conversational hope the first day.
I had been AWOL during break, and they stopped bothering.
In fact, this was the first time someone had made an attempt to keep me company since Andy proposed.
“Oh, okay then.” Jake stood up, shrugging on his jacket. “Do you want me to bring you anything back?”
“An iced mocha is fine.” Jinxx nodded. “Ashley?”
“No thanks.” I mumbled, staring at my lap.
After bustling around the bus for shoes, jackets, and wallets, they stepped off the bus in search of the energy-boosting drink.
“You didn’t have to stay behind with me.” I muttered, getting up. I made a motion towards my bunk, simply wanting peace.
“Don’t go; I want to talk.” Jinxx pleaded.
“What about?”
“What’s wrong Ashley? You’ve barely left your bunk the past few days and you didn’t leave your house during our time off.”
“I know.” I whispered, biting my lip.
“What’s going on? Your eyes are dead, Ash. Where’s the emotion? The smiles, the laughter, where’s our Ashley?”
I shrugged.
“I just, I just want to know what I can do.” Jinxx continued. “I want to bring back that old you…please. What’s wrong?”
Shaking my head, I stood up and started backtracking towards my bunk. I didn’t want to have this conversation.
Nobody could know about this conversation.
“Ashley, please.”
He reached out, grabbing the hem of my Memphis May Fire shirt and kept me from leaving.
It wasn’t a forceful move, it was a pleading motion.
All he wanted was answers.
He’s been in this band roughly four years, and that time-span he’s become the band’s caretaker.
He’s become protective of everybody, especially those who need it the most.
“Okay, fine.” I gave in.
Sitting down on the couch, I kicked off my boots and tucked my legs underneath me. It was back to staring at my lap.
I was tracing the frayed edges on the rips of my skinnies with my eyes as I tried to form words.
“Take your time.” Jinxx smiled, patting my knee.
He threw off my focus, by unintentionally covering the rips I was scrutinizing. Sighing, I tried to start.
It didn’t matter if it didn’t make sense, it would eventually come together.
“I- I don’t know how to tell you Jinxx. I’m just heartbroken, I guess. The person I’m in love with played me…and engaged to someone else.”
“That seriously sucks.” Jinxx sympathized.
“I don’t know what to do, knowing I’m always going to be around that person. Always going to know the truth…”
“Yeah?”
“Jinxx, I’m in love with Andy.” I breathed.
Might as well be blunt, right? There wasn’t an easy way to say it, so I might as well state it.
“…Andy. As in, our Andy? The front man of our band, Andy?” Jinxx contemplated, lost in thought.
“Yes.”
“What do you mean, he played you?” Jinxx asked.
Looking up, I opened my eyes in astonishment. This wasn’t the response I was expecting from him.
“We were like…fuck buddies. He told me he felt something, and wanted something to happen between us. He said he was going to end things with Juliet. He even flirted with me during dinner, then…he proposed to her.” I mumbled.
“Well, fuck.”
“I mean, he has a responsibility! He can’t just leave the baby without a father, I know! But, what about me? What about us?”
“Ashley…”
“He doesn’t even care, and I’m in fucking love with him! He doesn’t even care about Juliet, if all he does is cheat on her.”
“You know what; I’m going to talk to him.” Jinxx decided. “It isn’t fair to Juliet that he isn’t faithful.
“Jinxx…”
“It also isn’t fair that he’s using you as an easy fuck to fall back on. Not only that, but Juliet deserves to know.”
“Yeah.”
After another exchanging of words, the subject was cut short and dropped as the door swung open.
Jake and CC stepped on, laden down with two cups each.
“Here’s your mocha!” CC bounced, handing Jinxx a frosty plastic cup overflowing with whipped cream.
“We brought you something too.” Jake informed me. “It’s just a plain coffee, but we figured you needed it.”
“Thanks.” I smiled gratefully, sipping the warm drink.
“Where’s Andy?” Jinxx asked, glancing out the closing door.
“Oh, he went to see Caleb.” CC shrugged, referring to Farewell, My Love’s front man. “He ran into him and Chad on the walk over.”
After Ronnie’s little fit, Jon had called their manager and arranged for them to meet us in California.
They were officially apart of the tour, and things couldn’t have worked out any better than that.
Chris and Charlee were really great friends, as were Logan and Ronnie.
“I’m going out to look for him.” Jinxx muttered, slipping into a Motley Crue hoodie and stepping out.
“I’ll go with you!” CC smiled. “I want to find Robbie; we haven’t really had a chance to hang out in a while.”
It was our day off, and we were spending it in the dry heat of Arizona.
“Okay.”
“If you don’t mind, I’m going to Skype Ella; I haven’t talked to her since we left home.” Jake added, pulling out his iPhone.
“It’s fine.” I nodded; I was used to being alone.
Pulling out my phone, I started surfing through my Twitter feed for anything of vague interest.
There was a picture of Andy with a fan, a tweet from Ronnie about the tour, an update from Chris about the latest episode of The Walking Dead tonight; nothing particularly exciting.
“@AshleyPurdy: @ChrisMotionless Please, you know American Horror Story is better.” I tweeted Chris.
After a few minutes, there was a response. “@AlanAshby: @AshleyPurdy Yes!”
“@AshleyPurdy: @AlanAshby Where did you come from?”
“@AlanAshby: @AshleyPurdy I’m a Ginger Princess; I show up wherever I want to, Purdy.
“@ChrisMotionless: @AlanAshby @AshleyPurdy Why are you spamming my feed with your ginger royalty? BTW, you’re wrong about AHS.”
“@AlanAshby: @ChrisMotionless @AshleyPurdy Meow.”
Meow?
Fucking Christ, Alan.
“@AshleyPurdy: @AlanAshby @ChrisMotionless I think this conversation is over…
“@ChrisMotionless: @AshleyPurdy @AlanAshby Yeah.
“@AlanAshby: @AshleyPurdy @ChrisMotionless Fine. Hate cats.
My phone vibrated again, and I assumed it was a form of retaliation from Alan.
Instead it was a text from Jinxx.
“There’s been a change of plans.”
“What do you mean?”
“I caught him in the middle of fucking…Caleb.
“What the fuck.”
There was a moment of silence before I received another text. “You know what to do.”
Instead of replying, I opened up my contacts.
Scrolling through the dozens of name, I stopped on the highlighted name for a moment.
Hesitating.
After a pause, I clicked the CALL button.
It rung four times before her soft voice answered. “Hello?”
“Hey…Juliet? There’s something I want to tell you.” I breathed, already regretting this phone call.