I Don't Want the World to See Me

“Wait... Where are we going?” Clara wondered as she saw Tom take a turn and miss their road back to their neighbourhood.

It was past 10 PM and they had headed out of the wedding after Jenny’s parents had the first dance. Neither Tom nor Clara wanted to dance so they excused themselves as the party continued.

“To a place we used to go all the time.” Tom replied with a nostalgic smile as he drove them over to the park, which was deserted. “Remember this place?”

“Of course I remember.” Clara said softly as she got out of the car, still standing without a complaint on her heels. “I haven’t been here in ages.”

Tom offered her his arm and they walked around for a bit until they found the swings. Tom’s memory kept flooding with moments he had spent there during the summer and he blinked when he felt Clara release him. She sat down on her favourite swing and she smiled up at him. He sat in the swing beside hers and watched as her small frame began to move to push the swing using her legs.

He never took his eyes from her as she sat in the swing, her dress blowing along slightly with the breeze. Tom felt his heart flutter, barely still believe the words that they had said to each other earlier that evening and he glanced in front of him, so she wouldn’t feel too watched. He grinned when he spotted something familiar.

“I can’t believe that they still grow them.” He said, standing from his swing to go over to a bush and he stretched his upper body to realize that the gardeners still planted Osiria Roses in that part of the park.

Clara joined him a bit later and he pulled her a bit closer to show her. She gasped “Oh those are still beautiful.”

Tom smiled and nodded “There was this one summer when I... I planned to pick them all up, I wanted to give them to you but my father caught me on my third one and he nearly killed me.” He chuckled, remembering how innocent he was back then.

Clara chuckled “I appreciate the gesture.”

“I’m sorry you never got to receive them though.” Tom murmured, kissing her temple before he reached to grab one but Clara’s pale hand on his wrist stopped him.

“Leave them there.” She said gently and Tom obliged, moving his hand to cup her face.

“Do you want to go home?” He asked softly, his lips lingering over hers in the expectation of a kiss.

Clara’s breath washed over his lips and she nodded slowly. He smiled and bent down to kiss her deeply. The feel of her lips against his was heaven and he couldn’t get enough, neither could she as her hands rested against his chest, her lips twitching into a smile.

Tom drove them back and parked in front of his house. He walked Clara over to her door. All the lights were off and Nana was clearly asleep so Clara lingered for a bit more on her goodbye.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” Tom asked softly, brushing his hair back, hoping not to sound too desperate.

“I have work and tutoring but I’m free after 6.” Clara smiled softly and Tom smiled at her.

“Would you like to come over for dinner then?” He asked hopefully and before Clara could reply, the door opened suddenly.

“Enough for today lovebirds.” Nana said, looking at them teasingly, loving to see how both of them blushed like when they were teenagers “It’s past midnight, Clara. You should go and rest.”

Clara swallowed thickly and nodded at her grandmother “Yes, Nana. I’ll be right there, don’t worry.”

Nana started to ramble about the wedding and what might have happened between them and Clara blushed madly, pushing her in softly. “Nana, Nana, that’s enough.” She chuckled nervously before she turned to Tom. “Dinner sounds wonderful. Text me the time, alright? I’ll take the dessert.”

Tom smiled and nodded and reached to give her a quick kiss. Seeing the action, Nana quieted down and grinned, rubbing her hands in sign of success. She watched how dreamy her granddaughter looked once the handsome young man pulled away and he kissed her cheek before wishing them goodnight.

The next day, when Clara left the house she noticed Tom sitting in his balcony. She whistled towards him and waved happily before she got into her own car to drive over to the café, since she was going to play during lunch again. The hours spent at the café seemed to pass by flying and Clara always left more content and relieved, there she was appreciated for her talent and she was given the space to play various things.

“C-Clara,”

She turned around when she heard Tony’s shaky voice and he melted into a smile when he saw her face.

“Oh hello Tony.” She smiled as she fixed her hair into a braid, taking a break for water and to give the clients some moments to speak between each other or just be silent.

“You... You were playing beautifully as always but... I didn’t recognize that. What were you playing?” The young man asked.

Clara narrowed her eyes a bit in thought “It was Chopin, dear.” She smiled softly, being always very kind towards him since he was the waiter that worried most about feeding her, giving her water and so on.

“Oh, I see. You have wonderful taste.” He praised, brushing his sweaty palms on his apron.

Tony had known Clara for years now and, as much as he had tried to approach her, he always fell flat. He didn’t have the courage, he was just so truly impressed by her and her talent plus her kindness that he was always a little afraid to ruin everything, so sometimes he also felt intimidated by her which he knew to be idiotic because Clara was just the sweetest soul, nobody could ever fear her. Also, he had a feeling that she didn’t feel anything else for him than friendship and he was too insecure to ask.

“Thank you. Tony, you flatter me really. You do.” Clara smiled but suddenly her eyes looked away and sparkled “Tom!”

Tom dashed towards her, through the busy waiters and the chatty clients, and reached her quickly, smiling from ear to ear.

“Please, tell me that I’m not late. I was looking forward to hear you playing.” He said, panting lightly, as Tony watched Clara’s eyes and attention completely run away from him and towards Tom.

His jaw tensed and he nearly growled, wishing he could turn Tom into ash. Who did he think he was to come and steal Tony’s potential opportunity to be with Clara? He was a stranger and a goner, Tony considered himself to be much more trustworthy and he’d never leave.

Clara chuckled “No, you’re not late at all. I’m just taking a small break.”

Tom sighed with relief and leaned in to kiss her softly. All colour left Tony’s face as he watched them kiss and he felt even worse when she smiled so happily up at Tom. They whispered between each other and Clara was happy, there was no denying it. She would chuckle and she didn’t mind the closeness as Tom stood beside her with his arm around her shoulder and then her waist. Also they shared loving glances and gestures like holding hands and small pecks. Tony was shocked. He had never seen Clara being so easygoing given her shy nature and he was jealous, he wished he was in Tom’s place. He’d do anything to be the reason for her smile and for her to look at him like that.

“Is there anything you want Tom? You can ask Tony.” Clara offered with a gentle smile, Tony’s eyes blinking but he didn’t fake a smile towards Tom.

“Just a cup of tea, please.” Tom said towards the young man, both eyeing each other seriously.

Clara watched them with confusion, finding Tony’s cold attitude a bit odd since he was always so sweet to clients.

“Of course, I’ll bring it right away after attending to other clients. Sit whatever you’d please.” Tony said and he took the chance to leave their presence.

Clara furrowed her eyebrows but Tom’s reassuring hand on her hip kept her from calling out to Tony.

“I’m... I’m sorry, he’s never usually like that.” She said quietly.

Tom shook his head “It’s alright. I know why he’s like that.” He said and he watched the confusion in her hazel eyes “We’ll talk about that later.”

Clara nodded and they shared one small kiss before she went back to the piano. Tom sat at a close by table and watched her in delight while enjoying his tea. Tony would pass between them on purpose, smiling at Clara but glaring at Tom, both males very aware of what the other was doing and thinking.

Clara did her best not to notice but it was impossible, even the waiters and waitresses were beginning to whisper amongst themselves and she felt horrible. She wasn’t sure of what she had done wrong but this tension between Tom and Tony was her fault and she knew it.

When she finished, she stood and smiled kindly at the clients that clapped while Tom stood to go to her. He had already paid to his waitress, since Tony had done all he could not to serve Tom directly but before he could reach her, Tony rushed with a little white box.

“Clara, here are some butter cookies for you and your grandmother.” He said quickly.
Clara didn’t accept the box at first “Tony, are you crazy? I can’t accept that. It will be taken from your pay check.”

“It’s fine. Please. Please, just take it.” The young man insisted, pressing the box more to her.

Clara forced herself to accept it and when Tom joined her side, ready to tell Tony to go away, the young man went away on his own without needing anyone to tell him. He said goodbye to Clara and ignored Tom before returning to work.

Tom made no comments about the box situation but he could feel Clara’s mood dropping as he drove them back. He knew that he said that he’d text the time but he wanted to see her since he didn’t have much to do but apparently going to the café had been a terrible idea. Sadly, he only realized now that he was misinterpreted Tony’s feelings and they were quite serious but he knew that Clara loved him and so he wasn’t worried. That didn’t mean that he didn’t feel just a bit jealous but it was nothing out of ordinary because it was just because of the fact that Tony got to spend lots of time with Clara and Tom knew that jealousy over that was childish.

When the car came to a stop, she finally glanced towards him and she was clearly a bit nervous. “Hm.. what time should I meet you?”

“You can come over when your class is finished.” Tom replied with a soft smile, hoping to make things better in the evening “I’ll be waiting for you.” He said, grabbing her hand softly.

Clara nodded “I’ll see you in a bit.” She promised as she leaned in to peck his lips gently before she got out of his car.

Dinner went as smoothly as Tom had predicted. Clara and he did small talk and she was free to stay longer so he was setting up the living room while she watched for the popcorn since they were going to look for a film to watch. His house was mostly empty of items so he was hoping to find something to watch on the TV.

Clara joined him shortly after and he patted the spot next to him on the couch. She sat a bit shyly, keeping a bit of a distance at first but as he glanced at her, she could see the doubt in his eyes. It was clear that he wanted to be closer but he wasn’t going to force her so, once more, Clara stepped over her barrier and she gradually sat closer and closer, until she felt Tom’s arm over her shoulder.

He kissed her temple softly “Thank you for making the popcorn.” He said as he settled for ‘Forrest Gump’.

“You’re welcome. I like to help.” She said and he smiled warmly.

“I know, darling.” He murmured, his hand squeezing her shoulder softly as he kept her close, hoping that with time they could start to be more intimate together and spend more time together alone. He couldn’t wait for her to be comfortable enough for that.

“Tom,” Clara called not even after five minutes and she shifted a bit to look up at him. She needed to address the Tony subject and she didn’t want to wait.

She met a pair of curious light blue eyes but they didn’t hold her back, not this time, she needed to ask. If she loved him truly, she knew that she had to feel at ease to speak to him about anything and that was what she was planning to do since she was slowly beginning to trust him again and that was the beginning of everything for her again.

“We need to talk about what happened with Tony today,” She said, feeling him tense a bit “I... I honestly have no idea of what you meant and I want you to tell me what’s wrong.”

Tom sighed, watching how perfectly blind she was to the young man’s affections.

“Clara... how long have you known Tony?”

“A few years.”

“And you’ve never noticed anything?” He asked and she shook her head “Love, I’m not sure if I should tell you but he fancies you. He has feelings for you, probably for a long time now, and that’s why he doesn’t like me. I’m competition.”

Clara’s hazel eyes widened “That’s absurd. Tom, I never fancied him. You have to trust me, I’m not a price for either of you to compete for.”

“I know that, Clara, and I trust you.” Tom smiled reassuringly. “If you fancied him, you’d probably be a couple now.”

She cringed a bit “He’s a good guy, don’t take me wrong but... it just didn’t click. I already clicked with someone else many years ago.”

Tom chuckled and kissed her passionately, pressing her a bit more to him “I’ve clicked with you years ago too. I’ve loved you for so long, it’s unbelievable.”

Her heart started racing and her cheeks coloured as he spoke and told her how, despite having other girlfriends, he never quite really forgot about her and their moments in the summer. He told her how nervous he’d get when he knew he’d be coming over but then when they got together, he always had fun and he was happy every single time.

“I also remember the first time I heard you play the piano. That was... that was one of the best days of my life, Clara and I knew then that I loved you.”

Clara nuzzled his cheek and kissed him softly.

“I was playing for you that day once I realized that my parents weren’t going to leave me alone about it. I thought about you and I played.” She confessed “Ever since we met that if I need to convey true emotions when playing, I instantly think about you.”

“I’m so honoured but I never thought I deserved you,” Tom murmured, resting his forehead against hers as he looked into her eyes, knowing that he was lucky to have this second chance with her “I hurt you, I left and I returned different. Even still, you are willing to love me. I’m so lucky.”

“And I never thought that you’d look at me twice but I always wanted you to be happy, even if it wasn’t with me.” She said, caressing his face softly, noticing how truly beautiful he was “But now... Now, I’m starting to dare to believe that maybe I can make you happy despite all that has happened and how different we are now.”

Tom grasped her face softly “You can make me happy, Clara. You are the only one that I know that can make me truly happy. I never had such fun at a wedding like I had yesterday and every moment with you is priceless to me. I’ve lost so much and I don’t want to lose another single minute by being away from you.”

Before she could say anything else, he kissed her hard, a small moan escaping her lips as he kissed her like he had always wanted to. He pushed her a bit back, ending up on top of her on the couch but he felt like it was too soon for that, so he slowly pulled back.

He watched her as she regained her breath but she smiled, leaning up to kiss him, making him chuckle as he embraced her to him tightly.

“We didn’t dance last night.” He murmured against his neck.

“We can dance now.” Clara murmured back, brushing his short hair back before he pulled his face up and smiled widely.

He quickly got to his feet, pulling her along but before they could dance, he glanced at this garden. It was raining and an idea came to his mind so he picked her up, despite her protests, and took them both outside.

“Tom! Tom, no! It’s raining!” Clara laughed as Tom took his shoes off and walked into the grass, looking up with his eyes closed, feeling more alive than in the past few years.

“Come Clara! Join me!” He said happily, extending his hands to her.

She sighed in defeat, taking her shoes off before she joined him, getting drenched instantly. He grabbed her hands and he span her around, moving her close to him but instead of dancing, he just embraced her from behind to his chest, moving slightly. Clara followed his lead softly, not caring that she’d probably be sick the next day, this moment was worth it.

“Clara,” Tom whispered, turning her around swiftly so she was facing him and they stopped moving, the rain pouring heavily on them as he stared at her intently “Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

Her heart nearly burst as he spoke. They had been acting like a couple since the wedding but Clara knew that Tom was a decent guy so he’d ask eventually and there it was, the moment she had been waiting for, for years now.

“I...” She chuckled at how nervous she was plus the butterflies that were flying on her stomach “I would love to be your-“ She sneezed suddenly and he couldn’t help but to laugh as he embrace her to him, realizing that she was colder than him. “I would love to your girlfriend.” She whispered, sniffling.

He pulled away just slightly to kiss her deeply and then he smiled at her with adoration in his eyes as she stared at him dreamily “Let’s get you inside.” He said, picking her up again.

Since the house was quite big, they could shower in different bathrooms which they did after Tom insisted that it was the best so Clara wouldn’t get sick. Tom burrowed Clara a few clothes and then they cuddled on the couch. He lied on bottom with her resting on top of him. He caressed her damp hair as she snuggled to him, shivering a bit. He covered them up with a blanket and he embraced her to him as they watched TV in silence.

Her breathing started to slow down and then he realized that she had fallen asleep. He grinned, not having the heart to wake her and not really wanting her to leave, so he pulled her a bit up and he kissed her forehead.

“I won’t fail you this time. I’ll make you happy. I promise. For you, I’ll be better.” He murmured against her skin, embracing the woman he loved to him as they slept together for the first time.