Wonderwall

Chapter nine

By the time we had packed up the car and said our goodbyes to Bobby who we tried to convince to go, but was insistent that he must stay home, it was already noon and Dean was yearning to get back on the road. For the first time in all of our travels, I was in shotgun and Sam was in the backseat, insisting that he needed to be as far away from his brother as possible. I agreed quickly, not wanting to listen to the pair’s monogamous back and forth dialogues that I had heard all morning and I was hoping that with the new seating arrangement the rest of our ten-hour journey would go smooth. Of course, this wasn’t the case at all and within the first hour of everything going to plan, they managed to have a heated argument, about what I still had no clue.

‘At least I don’t sit on a computer all day. You’re like a teenaged girl!’ Dean retorted to Sammy’s previous insult, glaring at him from the rear view.

‘Like you’re any better! You have sex with anything that walks!’

‘I do not! I just love women, okay? Sue me. You’re just pissy cause I can actually get laid,’ Dean rolled his eyes, trying to focus on the road.

‘Well, Dean, unlike you, I actually have standards. I just don’t sleep with anybody that goes for my over-used pick up lines.’

‘Hey! Those pick-up lines are not over used. They’re classics.’

‘Oh, yeah, I forgot. All the girls you go for usually have an IQ of 50, so to them those lines would seem intelligent.’

‘I’m not the one that cries during-‘

‘Shouldn’t we call Cas now?’ I asked, interrupting Dean before he could taunt Sammy any further.

Dean cleared his throat, focusing back on the road, ‘Oh, uh, yeah. I was thinking we should just buzz him once we actually get there. It’ll make the drive less crowded,’ He glared back at Sam through the rear view mirror before switching the radio on, placing a Metallica tape in and turning the volume up to his liking.

I watched him as the record played itself through and had a difficult time averting my eyes, not wanting to miss a second of his entertaining behavior. He tapped passionately on the steering wheel to the beat of the drum, singing along to every word of every song. He was completely captivated in his music and if it wasn’t for my accidental outburst of laughter to his rendition of Fade to Black, Dean would’ve never known that I had been watching him the entire time.

He stopped abruptly, glancing over to smile at me, ‘What?’

‘Nothing,’ I lied, still trying to stifle the laughter I had unintentionally released.

He shook his head and smiled, turning down the music to a hush volume. Sammy, somehow, had managed to black out in the back, despite the concert that had been going on in the front seat. Dean and I laughed for a few minutes, without any explanation as to why, until the car had become silent.

‘So,’ He stated, the tune of Nothing Else Matters playing softly in the background, ‘How are you doing? With the whole hunter thing?’

‘I think I’m doing okay,’ I stated, fumbling with the buttons on my jacket.

‘You’re doing way better than okay. Trust me. You should see some of these yahoos that do this. You’re like a goddess compared to those ass hats,’ He smiled warmly, letting his gaze linger towards me for a while.

‘Thanks, Dean,’ I looked up at him, giving him a small grin.

Dean then sighed, turning his attention back to the road. He gripped tightly at the steering wheel and furrowed his eye brows, letting me know he was about to say something hazardous, ‘You know,’ He began, causing my stomach to churn, ‘I never did forget about you.’

‘What?’ His words hit me like a freight train and I whipped my face to look at him, my cheeks becoming hot.

‘I know that I failed you, Iris. I know that I should’ve came and got you like I said, I should’ve found you. I just, I couldn’t bear knowing that there was a chance you would get hurt because of me. Even if we weren’t together, I was okay as long as you were okay. I want you to know that I never forgot about you or stopped thinking about that day we last saw each other. Leaving you behind like that was my biggest mistake, and for that, for everything I’ve put you through, I’m sorry.’

I felt my mouth start to slightly gape in awe at him, tears welling up in my eyes. Where had this even come from? This sudden urge to apologize for his wrongdoings. Dean was never a person for remorse and even in the slight chance that he was, he never once showed signs of repentance.

‘Dean…’I began, my voice suddenly loosing its ability to make sounds, ‘I...I don’t even know what to say,’ I looked down at my lap and started fumbling with my buttons again. I didn’t know where to look or what to do or what to say next that could match what he had stated. I could feel my heart beating faster with anxiety and my lip began quivering from the desire to sob. Unable to hold it in any longer, I let the tears escape from my eyes and roll down freely upon my cheeks, leaving wet stains on my coat, ‘I didn’t even think you remembered.’

‘How could I not remember you, Iris? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, to all of us. You may be antsy and a huge pain in my ass sometimes, but at the end of the day, I’ll always care about you. No matter what,’ He kept his gaze at the road in front of him, while I sat beside him in a pool of emotion.

‘Pull the car over!’ I yelled, my voice strained and urgent.

‘What? Why? Why are you-‘ He kept switching his attention from the road to me, twitching his head back and forth, his face twisted in worry.

‘Just pull the damn car over!’ I shouted even louder this time, the fact that I was crying becoming obvious.

Dean whipped the car to the right and stopped it harshly on the gravel, the Impala screeching against the rough terrain. By this point I was borderline hysterical and I immediately jumped from the car once it had stopped, sprinting towards the driver’s side where Dean was seated. I merged with him as he got out from behind the wheel, jumping into his arms and holding on for dear life. We fit together like pieces of a puzzle and I felt his arms tighten around me, the worry from before lifting off of me, making me feel a thousand pounds lighter.

I eventually lifted my head from his chest, though, meeting his gaze. He smiled down happily at me as our eyes finally met, wiping my remaining tears away with his thumb. From where we were standing, the sun was shining directly onto him, highlighting his face golden. I was then able to see the smallest of details that made up his face; the ones that I rarely ever gotten a chance to observe. I took a second to take all of him in, his lips, his nose, even his eyebrows, so that when I looked back on this day, I would be able to remember what he looked like in this exact moment. And with that, I stood up on my tiptoes, placed his head in my hands, and my crashed my lips onto his.