Wonderwall

It was much more chilly out that I had remembered, causing me to wrap Dean’s oversized jacket tightly around my body. Although, I figured it was probably the anticipation of being alone with John that had caused me to feel this cold.

We walked into the night for a while, neither of us saying a word to the other. I looked around nervously, observing the motel in all its greatness, trying to make the time go by faster. I was never quite equipped to handle silences, especially instances like this where your current surroundings didn’t even fill the absence of sound. A car would pass by once and a while and a few of the street lamps flickered noisily, but that was it; John and I were practically surrounded my nothing.

After ten minutes of walking into the unknown, I cleared my throat, readying my self to speak, ‘So,’ I began, hoping that maybe John would take over.

‘So,’ He replied, placing his hands in his pockets. He smiled at me in a way that let me know I was in complete control of the conversation.

‘Can I ask you something?’ I said. I was hesitant, but nonetheless, decided to pry on issues that I had been curious on for a while.

‘Of course, Iris. Ask away!’

‘Why did you write my coordinates down in your journal? I mean, I’m sure there were plenty of other hunters, like Bobby for instance, who would’ve been much better help to Sammy and Dean, but you chose me. Why?’ I heard the words flow from my mouth, echoing against the surrounding silence.

John sighed for a moment, looking up at the sky above us, ‘I choose you because you’re special; special to me, special to Sammy, and especially to Dean,’ He paused for a moment, letting his words sink in.

I swept my gaze to my feet as he continued, heat crawling upon my cheeks.

He continued, ‘Sure, there’s a bunch of other hunters who would’ve been able to help Sam and Dean, but it wouldn’t have been the kind of help they needed, Iris. You’re what they needed, even if you weren’t exactly experienced. My boys…we’ll Dean to be specific, needed saving,’ He paused again, stopping and rubbing his face with his hands, ‘Dean hasn’t been himself lately, I don’t know why and I probably never will know. I’ve been hard on him, I know that. I know that I’ve put a lot of things onto him that I probably shouldn’t have. I just, I couldn’t stand watching the life drain out him anymore; it was like he was a whole other person overnight. I tried my best to help, to make him know how much he means to me, but you know Dean. He’s stubborn as a mule,’ He laughed, shaking his head, ‘but I knew, I just knew, that you were the one to do it, to save him. If there was anyone, anyone that could put the gleam back in Dean’s eyes, it was you.’

‘I don’t know about that,’ I said, giving John a smile, ‘Dean seemed pretty happy when you walked into that warehouse, the happiest he’s been these past months,’ I tried my best to deter the conversation into a different route. I wasn’t comfortable knowing that I was what John imagined to be his son’s savior and quite frankly, I thought it was more suitable for him to take on as a job.

‘You may not ever realize this, but you mean more to Dean than you can possibly imagine,’ John stopped walking, placing his hands on my shoulders, ‘You should get back to the room Kiddo, it’s getting pretty late.’

I didn’t want to leave, though. I wasn’t ready to return back to the room with so many unanswered questions. I had felt less confused before the walk and now my thoughts from before ran rampant, like a tornado. But I didn’t argue with him. I just nodded and said goodbye, walking quickly back to the warmth of our room.

‘Look what the cat dragged in,’ Dean joked as I opened the door, greeting me with a smile.

I rolled my eyes, grabbing my pajamas from my suitcase, and headed straight towards the shower. I was visibly dirty, covered in a mixture of vampire blood and dirt, and I had figured I was starting to smell like it too.

I was done quickly, stepping out and joining the boys once again. Sam was on his computer, as usual, and Dean was seated on the bed, a beer in his right hand.

‘Feel better?’ Sam asked. He looked up from his laptop for a moment, giving me a small, knowing smile.

‘Much’, I stated, grabbing a beer and sitting beside Dean, ‘I never got the chance to thank you guys, you know, for saving me and all.’

‘You don’t need to thank us, Iris. It’s our job to save the people we love,’ Dean said, looking up at me.

I felt myself blushing again as we made eye contact. I wasn’t sure why he chose to use the word ‘love’ or why he was looking at me the way he was now, but I figured this was Dean’s way of telling me he was glad I was safe.

We all sat and talked for a while after that; not about anything specific, just anything about life that didn’t involve hunting. It was nice, being able to listen and tell stories that weren’t about things that wanted to kill us. Hunting consumed much of our lives and it was refreshing to just sit back and not worry for once, even if it was just for a few hours.

We had gone through a couple cases of beers by the end of the night and I was starting to feel the warmth of the alcohol as I sipped on my 5th drink. Sam wasn’t as bad as me, but Dean didn’t even seem to have any after affects. He had drunk more than us combined and yet, he wasn’t much different than before the drinking had begun. Granted, he was laughing and smiling more, but he wasn’t slurring his speech or moving around clumsily as one would accept at this point. He just sat on the bed, calm and content as ever.

‘I should get to bed,’ I said finally. I had felt my head beginning to spin, almost as if it was about to detach from my body, and I grabbed for it quickly, hoping to secure it.

‘You okay?’ Dean laughed, mockingly moving his hands in front of my face.

I nodded, attempting to steady my feet on the ground so that I could stand, but I failed miserably, crashing into Dean’s lap.

He was laughing hard now, almost to the point of tears, looking down at me with a giant, goofy smile, ‘Need some help?’

Sam was leaning back in his chair, laughing in unison with Dean, causing me to feel the sting of embarrassment. My cheeks went hot and I felt the urge to stand up myself to save what was left of my dignity, but I knew that walking without help wasn’t an option.

Dean then picked me up swiftly and laid me down on the bed, tucking me in beneath several covers. My dizziness was starting to cease and my eyes became heavy with exhaustion, so I closed them quickly, hoping that sleep would come soon. I felt Dean’s lips press against my forehead as he muttered the words, ‘good night’ to me and I heard the flicker of a light switch beside me.

I listened to Sam and Dean continue to talk as I tried to sleep, tossing restlessly beneath the itchy blankets. Motel beds were notorious for being almost unbearable and while I thought I had grown use to them, tonight was the exception. I found myself unable to sleep and with no other source of entertainment, I continued ease dropping on Sam and Dean. This time the conversation was all about hunting; the colt, to be more specific, was really the main topic of it all. They were discussing how to go about capturing and killing Azazel and if the gun even worked at all. Sam had brought up testing it on a lower end demon, but with limited bullets, they ruled it out quickly. They bantered back and forth for a while it seemed, trying to devise a smart plan, but they ended up with nothing and after an hour they both called it quits. They said goodnight to one another and I heard the flicker of the remaining lights, the room going completely black now. A few moments later, I felt the bed sink down beside me, causing me to smile. Dean rustled on the bed a couple of times before picking a spot, moving his body close beside me and placing his face against my shoulder.

‘Dean?’ I whispered, trying my best to keep quiet for Sam’s sake.

‘You’re up?’ He asked, whispering too.

‘I couldn’t sleep,’ I said. I turned around to face him, our noses touching.

I heard him smile, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist.

‘Can I ask you something?’ I didn’t have a question for him, but I wanted to hear his voice, knowing that it would eventually soothe me to sleep.

‘Sure, ask away.’

I sighed, thinking for a moment, ‘If you had to pick any memory to go back to, any one at all, which one would you choose?’

It was silent as he thought; Dean’s heart beat playing melodically in my ears as I snuggled against his chest.

‘It was Fourth of July and my dad had left for a job without us. Sammy was pretty bummed out, so I knew I had to do something to cheer the kid up. I ended up buying a bunch of fireworks and took him to this big, empty field that I had found. He was skeptical, you know how Sammy is about surprises, but the second I lit off that first roman candle,’ He paused, letting out a quiet laugh, ‘I’ll never forget his face; it was priceless.’

I imagined the scene in my head as he spoke; the boom of the explosion, the fluorescent lights in the sky raining down on them, both of them too happy for words. I only wished I could’ve seen Sammy’s face and I felt as if I was going to cry; not because I was sad, but because I was happy knowing that Dean had good memories, even if they were a while ago.

‘Goodnight, Dean,’ I finally stated, readjusting myself in his arms.

‘Night, Iris.’

And with that I quickly fell asleep, imagining the memory of that Fourth of July.

sitting beside Dean, ‘I never got the chance to thank you guys, you know, for saving me and all.’

‘You don’t need to thank us, Iris. It’s our job to save the people we love,’ Dean said, looking up at me.

I felt myself blushing again as we made eye contact. I wasn’t sure why he chose to use the word ‘love’ or why he was looking at me the way he was now, but I figured this was Dean’s way of telling me he was glad I was safe.

We all sat and talked for a while after that; not about anything specific, just anything about life that didn’t involve hunting. It was nice, being able to listen and tell stories that weren’t about things that wanted to kill us. Hunting consumed much of our lives and it was refreshing to just sit back and not worry for once, even if it was just for a few hours.

We had gone through a couple cases of beers by the end of the night and I was starting to feel the warmth of the alcohol as I sipped on my 5th drink. Sam wasn’t as bad as me, but Dean didn’t even seem to have any after affects. He had drunk more than us combined and yet, he wasn’t much different than before the drinking had begun. Granted, he was laughing and smiling more, but he wasn’t slurring his speech or moving around clumsily as one would accept at this point. He just sat on the bed, calm and content as ever.

‘I should get to bed,’ I said finally. I had felt my head beginning to spin, almost as if it was about to detach from my body, and I grabbed for it quickly, hoping to secure it.

‘You okay?’ Dean laughed, mockingly moving his hands in front of my face.

I nodded, attempting to steady my feet on the ground so that I could stand, but I failed miserably, crashing into Dean’s lap.

He was laughing hard now, almost to the point of tears, looking down at me with a giant, goofy smile, ‘Need some help?’

Sam was leaning back in his chair, laughing in unison with Dean, causing me to feel the sting of embarrassment. My cheeks went hot and I felt the urge to stand up myself to save what was left of my dignity, but I knew that walking without help wasn’t an option.

Dean then picked me up swiftly and laid me down on the bed, tucking me in beneath several covers. My dizziness was starting to cease and my eyes became heavy with exhaustion, so I closed them quickly, hoping that sleep would come soon. I felt Dean’s lips press against my forehead as he muttered the words, ‘good night’ to me and I heard the flicker of a light switch beside me.

I listened to Sam and Dean continue to talk as I tried to sleep, tossing restlessly beneath the itchy blankets. Motel beds were notorious for being almost unbearable and while I thought I had grown use to them, tonight was the exception. I found myself unable to sleep and with no other source of entertainment, I continued ease dropping on Sam and Dean. This time the conversation was all about hunting; the colt, to be more specific, was really the main topic of it all. They were discussing how to go about capturing and killing Azazel and if the gun even worked at all. Sam had brought up testing it on a lower end demon, but with limited bullets, they ruled it out quickly. They bantered back and forth for a while it seemed, trying to devise a smart plan, but they ended up with nothing and after an hour they both called it quits. They said goodnight to one another and I heard the flicker of the remaining lights, the room going completely black now. A few moments later, I felt the bed sink down beside me, causing me to smile. Dean rustled on the bed a couple of times before picking a spot, moving his body close beside me and placing his face against my shoulder.

‘Dean?’ I whispered, trying my best to keep quiet for Sam’s sake.

‘You’re up?’ He asked, whispering too.

‘I couldn’t sleep,’ I said. I turned around to face him, our noses touching.

I heard him smile, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist.

‘Can I ask you something?’ I didn’t have a question for him, but I wanted to hear his voice, knowing that it would eventually soothe me to sleep.

‘Sure, ask away.’

I sighed, thinking for a moment, ‘If you had to pick any memory to go back to, any one at all, which one would you choose?’

It was silent as he thought; Dean’s heart beat playing melodically in my ears as I snuggled against his chest.

‘It was Fourth of July and my dad had left for a job without us. Sammy was pretty bummed out, so I knew I had to do something to cheer the kid up. I ended up buying a bunch of fireworks and took him to this big, empty field that I had found. He was skeptical, you know how Sammy is about surprises, but the second I lit off that first roman candle,’ He paused, letting out a quiet laugh, ‘I’ll never forget his face; it was priceless.’

I imagined the scene in my head as he spoke; the boom of the explosion, the fluorescent lights in the sky raining down on them, both of them too happy for words. I only wished I could’ve seen Sammy’s face and I felt as if I was going to cry; not because I was sad, but because I was happy knowing that Dean had good memories, even if they were a while ago.

‘Goodnight, Dean,’ I finally stated, readjusting myself in his arms.

‘Night, Iris.’

And with that I quickly fell asleep, imagining the memory of that Fourth of July.