Wonderwall

The nine and a half hour drive to Bobby’s was a long one, mostly filled with silence and assorted classic rock tunes that Dean would occasionally play throughout the car. We had kept the conversations at a minimum and the only person I chose to speak to during the journey was Dahlia; partly because I was much too frustrated to speak but mostly because Castiel and Dean were the largest contribution to my anger. I thought that ignoring them until I had cooled off would be the best choice for all of us, because unlike the others, I had wanted to keep the conflict down to a minimum.
When we had finally pulled down the dirt path that lead to Bobby’s house, I let out a large sigh of relief, knowing that we were one step closer to finding Sammy. I tapped anxiously on the door handle as we approached Bobby’s and I practically threw myself out of the car once it had stopped. I didn’t bother waiting for the others to follow; I barged right into the home in hopes to get to work as soon as possible.

‘What took you so long?’ Balthazar darted to my side as I approached the make shift library Bobby had created in his living room, containing all the supplies I assumed would lead us to Sam.

I shrugged, taking an empty seat next to a pile of disheveled, old books. They all looked to be at least a hundred years old and I gently selected one from the top; a red tattered book with several different Egyptian symbols depicted on it.

‘Find anything yet?’ Dean said, walking into the room with Castiel and Dahlia following closely behind him.

‘Not exactly,’ John said. He looked up from the large green book in his hands, frustration painted heavily on his face. John was much like Dean in that he didn’t show much emotion, so it was quite unraveling to see him so raw.

Dean rubbed at his neck and then took a seat close beside me, taking a few pieces of parchment paper from the large pile beside him. ‘We better get to work then.’

It went silent after that, the only sound being the occasional sighs and pages being flipped between our fingers. I had only finished about half of the book I had chosen, while Cas and Dahlia had gone through almost twelve each. Balthazar, on the other hand, leaned against the door wall, sipping a tall glass of scotch. I tried catching his attention by giving him snide glances, hoping this would encourage him to contribute, but instead he just smiled slyly at me, taking another gulp of his drink. I didn’t understand how and why Balthazar jumped from extremes like he did; warm and caring to distant and cold. I had understood from the few times we had all gathered together that he wasn’t fond of the Winchester’s or any of their friends, but this wasn’t just for them. This was for me too.

‘What the hell is your excuse for not helpin?’ Bobby finally asked, slamming down the bulky book he had just finished examining. His sudden yell had caused everyone in the room to jump.

‘I am helping, scruffy. I’m supervising,’ Balthazar smiled again, raising his glass towards Bobby.

‘Don’t you test me, you good-for-nothin son of a bitch!’ Bobby stood up from his chair, pointing a finger aggressively towards the angel in front of him.

Balthazar laughed, walking into the kitchen to refill his now empty glass.

‘What’s so funny?’ Dean said. I could tell by his tone of voice that he was ready to start an argument.

‘That you ignorant little runts actually think that I’m going to help you find your Sasquatch. I’m simply here to enjoy the sight of your frustration and to take in the lovely view that is Iris,’ Balthazar teased, winking at me from the kitchen.

I whipped my head at Dean, waiting for him to shoot out of his chair towards Balthazar.

‘You think you’re so smart, don’t you?’ Dean placed his book on the table beside him, getting up slowly from the chair beneath him as I had expected.

‘Dean, leave it alone,’ John piped in, rubbing his face in frustration as his son antagonized Balthazar further.

I heard a few comments from Castiel and Dahlia as Dean and Balthazar inched closer to each other, but at that point I couldn’t take it anymore; the arguing, the endless stacks of books, everything. I got up from my chair and threw my reading material on its cushion, walking outside into the cold, autumn air. I headed straight towards the piles of cars spread throughout Bobby’s yard, hoping to hide myself inside one of their doors. I walked quickly upon the gravel, attempting to loose myself within the labyrinth of metal, making it harder for the group to discover my location.

I finally came upon the frame of an old mustang, located at the far end of the car lot that seemed well enough to relax in. The electric blue paint that used to cover the entirety of its body was chipped and almost completely wore down from rain and sun. The windshield was covered in cracks and the rest of the windows and doors had been removed, leaving the interior exposed to the outside. However, the leather seats, although ripped and tattered, looked quite good considering the condition of the rest of the car. I then quickly plopped down in the drivers side, leaning back and staring up at the ceiling of the car, listening to the whistling sounds of the wind.

‘Iris?’ I heard Dean’s voice calling off into the distance as I tried focusing on the sounds around me, the gravel crackling loudly beneath his boots. I could tell that he was somewhat running, his mind probably wandering to different scenarios in which involved me getting kidnapped.

I let out a heavy sigh, slipping out of the car, ‘Over here, Dean.’

He then emerged between an old Cadillac and T-bird, his face relaxing to a state of pure relief,
‘Everything ok?’ He stood beside me as I continued looking around, his eyes glued to me.

I nodded, keeping my eyes on the rusted cars around me.

‘You’re mad at me, aren’t you?’

I glanced over at him. He looked like a guilty child, his lips out in a subtle pout and his eyes glossy with remorse. I wish I hadn’t of looked, I wish I could’ve kept my ground, but that face was one I could not ignore. I let out a sigh before I spoke, ‘I’m not exactly mad. I’m more upset.’

‘Hmm, and why is that?’

I attempted to answer his question with a question, ‘How are you so calm right now, Dean? I mean, I thought for sure you were going to do something stupid and start looking for him all over, but this morning, you were so…. different. I expected you to go absolutely bat shit crazy and you
didn’t. You were still and calm and I was the irrational one, flipping out and acting ridiculous….I just don’t get it, Dean. Why? Why are you so calm right now?’ I looked at him again, our eyes meeting.

‘I knew that if I acted like that, all crazy and stupid like I usually do, it would’ve un-nerved you even more and that’s not what I want. This is hard for me, Iris, being so calm when all I want to do is scream, but I knew that you needed me to be this way, even if you cant see it now and that’s all that matters to me. One day I’m going to need you to do this, to act calm and collected, so that I’ll be able to be the irrational and crazy one, but that time was not now. Today was my day to wear the big boy pants and for you to act a little wild.’

I smiled to myself, reaching over and grabbing his hand. Dean was mysterious and unpredictable and although I usually avoided people with these qualities, I couldn’t stop myself from being drawn to him. I knew that the chances of us ever living a long and happy life together would be slim, but I would prefer a life of hell with him by my side to a life of bliss without him any day.

‘We should get back now,’ I finally stated, tugging his hand towards the house.

He nodded, following my lead towards the front door.

‘Hey, Dean?’

‘Yes, iris?’

‘After we find Sam, we should fix up that old mustang back there.’

He laughed, letting go of my hand to place his arm around me, tugging me into his side, ‘The only car I’ll ever touch is baby.’

I shook my head and laughed, playfully shoving him off of me.

‘Race you to Bobby’s?’ Dean asked, raising his eyebrows.

I answered his question by darting in front of him, slamming my heels down hard on the ground beneath me. He caught up fast, though, the two of us racing side by side until the house finally came into view. I started to speed up, reaching the front steps quickly, practically slamming into the front door.

‘Ha! Beat you!’ I teased, turning around to find that Dean was nowhere near me. ‘Dean?’ I called out to him, receiving no response, running back down the steps to find him buckled down in the dirt a few feet away from the house.

‘What the hell happened?’ I asked, running over to him.

Dean gripped at his head, moaning loudly in pain.

‘CAS!’ I yelled towards the house, Castiel popping up beside me almost instantaneously.

‘What happened?’ He knelt down beside Dean, placing a hand gently on his back.

The others had now gathered around us, their faces twisted in confusion. We all had tried speaking to Dean, trying to figure out what was wrong, but he didn’t answer. The only sounds leaving his mouth were groans of pain and agony, but finally, after what seemed liked an eternity, Dean’s body relaxed and his cries of pain ceased.

‘Dean?’ I asked, for what seemed to be about the hundredth time, helping him up to his feet.

He looked at me, his speech heavily interrupted by his rapid breaths, ‘I know….where….Sammy is.’