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Girl, I Don't Know What You See, You're More Than Just a Mannequin to Me

Twelve;

“We’re here.” Alex was shaking me awake. I groaned. “Shh, it’s okay. We’re at the venue.”

I turned around and opened my eyes just barely. He looked blurry slightly, and had a slight frown on his face.

I groaned again and wrapped my fingers around his wrist, pulling him down next to me. The seat was small but so was I, and we squished onto it.

Alex got stiff when I plopped him down next to me, but he got comfortable quickly and snaked an arm around my waist. I snuggled my nose into his neck, quickly falling back asleep.

I woke up to the sun shining brightly to the open van door. I could hear somebody banging around on a bus next to us. I looked over with squinted eyes and saw that the closest bus to us was the The Maine bus.

I looked up at Alex. He was still asleep. His mouth was slightly open, and he had this really adorable look on his face.

I smiled despite myself. He is really cute.

After I laid and watched him for a while, I slid his arm off of me and quickly sneaked out of the van, making my way towards Friday’s bus.

Everybody was still asleep when I climbed on. I went to the back and grabbed some clothes, before getting in the shower. I felt quite sticky, and I absolutely hated sleeping in make up. After my shower I got ready and by the time I was back in the living room, Brynn and Erix were lounging around in there.

“So what the fuck did you do last night?” Brynn asked me. “Emmie was fuming.”

“I just went out,” I said, shielding my eyes. I filled my bag up with stuff I thought I would need for the day, including my song book. “I’m going to get some breakfast, anybody care to join me?”

“Nah, I feel sick,” Erix said, shaking his head.

“I’m gonna wait for everybody else to get up,” Brynn told me. I shrugged and went past them and off the bus.

“Cotton Candy!” I turned around and Jack was walking casually towards me with a small smile on his face. “Where’s Alex?”

“Probably still asleep in the van,” I said, blushing. “I was just going to get some breakfast, care to join me?”

“Sure, but if Alex is asleep in the van – “

“He can come.”

Jack chuckled and we went to the van. I closed the still open back door and we climbed into the front. Alex was snoring loudly now.

“Sounds like he’s getting sick,” Jack said.

We drove to a kind of bustling place and left Alex snoring in the car. After we got seated Jack looked at me seriously.

“Emmie told me what happened last night,” he said.

“Jack – “

“No, I’m not mad at you,” he shook his head. “Disappointed, yes, but not mad.”

“I told him it wasn’t a date the moment he asked me to go out,” I explained myself in a rushed voice. “He said he knew that, and he just wanted to get me away from the craziness of tour.”

Jack sighed. “But – “

“But he kissed me.” I leaned back into the seat.

“And how was that?” He raised a brow.

“It was really, really nice,” I admitted. “I wanted more, but I couldn’t.”

Jack sighed again as the waitress walked up and took our drinks. We made sure to get a third coffee cup for Alex in case he woke up and came inside.

After she left, Jack held a hand out to me. I took it.

“Look, Emmie told me that Peyton’s cheating on you – “

“Oh, god, really? I’m pretty damn sure she’s lying, she’s never liked Peyton.”

“No, listen. I don’t think Emmie is the type of person that goes around lying about someone just because she doesn’t like him. You, or me, needs to check up on him. I know that there’s not much we can do being so far away, but just in case. I don’t want you to find out months or possibly years into the future and feel like an idiot. You need to be sure.”

I sighed. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Jack squeezed my hand. “Even if he isn’t cheating on you, Peyton’s not the best guy, Cotton Candy.”

I skewered my lips. “I know he may seem like that, to all of you, but I’ve been a side of him that nobodies seen. He has done some pretty fucked up shit, I admit it, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me.” I closed my eyes. “He lived on the streets for some time. His mother got sick from leukemia and passed away when he was 14. His father wanted nothing to do with him, and so he stayed at various friends’ houses until he was 16. When we got together, I helped him get a job and a place. We’ve always depended on each other.”

When I opened my eyes Jack was looking at me with a sad look on his face.

“I’m not going to say that he didn’t have a hard time in life,” he said in a quiet voice. “We all go through something. And maybe he did need you at that point in his life, maybe you did need to be together back then to save him. But Cayne, you need to stop thinking about other people for once and think about what you deserve. You deserve happiness. I think Alex can give you that.”

“I am happy…”

“Really? Arguing with him all the time? Cayne, we would be able to hear you guys shouting on the All Time Low bus. Maybe more than a couple times a day. Is that the kind of relationship you think you deserve?”

I sighed again, but before I could reply the waitress was back. She took our orders. We ordered Alex some eggs and a pancake.

When she left, I looked at Jack again.

“Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy.” I swallowed. “I’ve done some really fucked up shit, Jack. I’ve hurt a good fair share of people and did drugs and lied to my family and friends. I’m not a good person.”

“Don’t fucking say that, Cayne.” His eyes flashed. I had never seen him like this before. “You are a fantastic fucking person. And you deserve all the happiness in the world. Trust me, I’ve done my good and I’ve done my bad. It’s not always black and white like that; we’re all streaked with gray. But I have to say, that you are amazing. And you deserve Alex.”

I leaned back into the seat and rubbed my face. “Maybe,” I muttered.

The food came a little bit later and we ate in silence. About halfway through the bell above the door dinged and Alex came in. He spotted us and walked over, sitting down besides Jack. His hair was sticking up everywhere and there was still sleep in his eyes.

“Are these for me?” he asked, referring to the plate next to the empty coffee cup.

“Yes, sir,” I told him, taking a bite of my bacon. He took the plate gratefully and began to shovel his face.

I looked back down at my plate again.

Maybe.
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