Girl, I Don't Know What You See, You're More Than Just a Mannequin to Me

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Peyton wasn’t taking my asking him to leave tour very well.

“Don’t be like this, Peyton. It’s not that you’re doing anything wrong – “

“It’s because of Alexander fucking Gaskarth, isn’t it?” he said.

“It’s not only about him,” I replied, raising my voice a little. “Don’t you see what you’re fucking doing? You make my friends uncomfortable, including the whole of All Time Low and even Friday.”

“Bullshit, your friends love me.”

“You’re so blind, aren’t you?” I scoffed. “They fucking hate you. So whatever you may think I feel about Alex, I’m still with you despite how they fucking feel. But something I can’t put up with anymore is how you being around makes them avoid me. I’m sorry, and I love you, but my word is final. You’re going to be gone by tomorrow and if you want to break up with me for it, then so be it.”

I turned around and stomped off of the otherwise empty bus, huffing.

I so desperately wanted to hop in the van and go buy me a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of wine, but I fingered the X on my thigh and thought instead to go watch All Time Low’s sound check.

When I got there I sat down in a corner, not even sure if I was welcome with the other guys. I knew that Alex and I got good but Jack has been really angry with me lately.

Alex smiled and waved at me when I walked in. I gave him a shy smile and took my seat.

Afterwards, he walked over to me. I could see the guys watching us curiously from where they were packing up.

“You were great up there,” I told him.

“Thank you,” he smiled and gave me a soft hug.

“I talked to Peyton today about him leaving,” I said in a small voice.

“How’d he take it?”

“Not well,” I sighed. “But he doesn’t see that my band is my family and he’s tearing them from me. And I feel so badly for letting it go on so long.”

“That’s exactly right. Key and Darren didn’t even come on this tour. Tour isn’t really the best place for relationships in the first place.”

We were quiet for a moment, before Jack walked over.

“Hey, Jack, how are you?” I asked.

“I’m okay, you?” he replied.

“Peachy. I kicked Peyton off tour, and he’s pretty pissed off at me right now. We just got into a huge fight.”

Jack couldn’t hide his surprise.

“Did you break up?” he asked me.

“I honestly don’t even know,” I answered. “I told him that he could go watch my cat and stuff, but I also told him that if he wanted to break up over this then it was just fine with me.”

Jack reached over and rubbed my arm. “I’m sorry, babes.”

“It’s okay,” I shrugged. “I’m so tired of the fighting though. Maybe being apart for some time will do us some good.”

“I’m glad you’re thinking like that,” he told me seriously.

“Guys, let’s get some dinner,” Rian called from the other side of the room.

We didn’t actually have a concert today, it was a day off. But we had come to the venue early to get everything ready.

We ended up going to a burger restaurant on the other side of town. Jack got his usual colossal amount of food.

Eventually we were all back to our old selves, acting like we had before Warped ended. It felt so good, so nostalgic.

We climbed back into the van afterwards clutching our sides from laughing.

“Hey, let’s get some Jack Daniels,” Jack suggested.

“Hey, Cayne doesn’t drink, remember?” Alex pointed out.

“No, it’s okay,” I said. “I don’t want to ruin your guy’s fun, go ahead and get yourselves a bottle. I just won’t drink.”

“Are you sure?” Alex asked me.

“I’m sure, it’s perfectly fine,” I chuckled.

“Well I won’t drink. I’ll stay sober for you.”

I smiled at him, “That’s nice of you, Alex.”

So the guys got themselves a couple bottles and we drove back to the venue. It was around seven. When we got back, Peyton was waiting outside of the van for me.

“I’ll be right back,” I told the guys as I climbed from the van. I walked over to Peyton.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” Peyton said in a quiet voice.

“I’m sorry. I know it must seem like I’m throwing you away right now but I’m really not. I just need to think about my band right now, this is my job and my family.”

“I get it, I do,” Peyton said, wrapping his arms around me. “I’m just going to miss you.”

“I know,” I sighed, wrapping my arms around him as well. “I’m going to miss you too.”

We sat there in silence for a little while.

“Well, I have to be at the airport in about half an hour. I have a cab on the way,” Peyton told me.

“Okay.”

He leaned down and gave me a short kiss, before retreating inside to get his things. By the time he came back outside the cab was here. He gave me one last kiss and we said our I love you’s, and then he was gone.

I went to the All Time Low van and climbed inside. The guys were drinking their alcohol while Alex sat there without a drink in hand. I went and sat in between him and Jack.

“So, Peyton just left for the airport,” I announced.

“You okay?” Jack asked.

“Actually, I feel like I have a huge weight off my chest. Peyton and I do really need a break,” I admitted.

“That’s good,” Alex wrapped his arm around my shoulders in a hug, but removed them quick so as not to invade my space. I leaned into him to show him that it was okay.

We sat up late for a while, before I went to bed in my bus.