Girl, I Don't Know What You See, You're More Than Just a Mannequin to Me

It became pretty hectic over the next couple of days involving the tour. We had a lot of signings and fan meets and such. There really wasn’t a lot of time that we had on our own. But eventually things began looking up and Friday and All Time Low were messing around on the Dreaming of Lilian bus. It was pretty crowded. Everybody but me was sipping on a beer.

“And so this girl, Kasey, she fucking pukes all over me,” Jack said, telling a story. “But in the mean time Zack was getting it on with a girl on her period, so I guess it’s semi-okay.”

Everybody was laughing.

I got up. “I’m going to start getting ready for bed,” I said. “I’m exhausted.”

I said my goodbyes with everyone and left for Friday’s bus.

I was about halfway when I heard the bus door slam shut. I turned around to see Alex jogging towards me.

“I’ll keep you some company,” he told me. I smiled at him.

“That sounds nice.”

We walked in silence to the bus and I left him to quickly change into pajamas. I grabbed a Pepsi and sat with him on the couch.

“So how’s Alejandro?” Alex asked.

“He’s great. I took some great pictures of him not long before the start of the tour with my canon, do you wanna see?” I got on my laptop and clicked to find one of the shots I took of him. I showed it to Alex.

“Wow,” he said, “he’s that big already?”

“Yeah, they grow fast, don’t they?” I laughed and closed the laptop, setting it aside.

“So how are you?” I asked him.

“I’m good,” he said, sliding a smile on his face. I could tell it was fake, but I didn’t delve into it because I didn’t want to have that kind of conversation.

We sat and talked for awhile and eventually we got on the topic of what we do when we’re not on tour.

“I got really good at cooking,” I told him. “My mom taught me when I was younger, and now I absolutely love it.”

“Oh really?” he said with a smirk on his face. “The bands gonna have to visit you sometime in Oregon and make you cook for us.”

I giggled. “I already have a recipe in mind.”

Alex grinned.

“And of course I absolutely adore reading. My favorite author – you know, besides JK Rowling – is Sarah Dessen.” I rattled.

“That’s nice. Not a lot of people are readers these days,” Alex said.

“Yeah exactly. And that’s really sad.” I sighed, leaning my head down.

“Are you tired? I can go.”

“No, it’s okay. I like talking to you,” I smiled softly at him. He smiled back.

After more talking, we got up and ordered some burgers from some delivery place. We both ate in silence and then both sat droopily on the couch afterwards.

“I’m so full,” I groaned.

“Seriously, those were big burgers,” Alex replied, his hand on behind his head.

The door of the bus suddenly open and Brynn got on. He was sopping wet. He walked past us without a word and walked into the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on.

“What time is it?” I asked Alex. He looked at the time on his phone.

“10:26.”

“Only?”

“Right?”

“What time are the busses leaving?”

“11.”

“Ah.”

We sat in silence for a little bit. My bones felt like jelly. I woke up at 4 this morning to Abner and Brynn yelling about some stupid shit. They were always getting in petty fights, but they still loved each other like brothers.

“I really think you should go to bed, Candy Cayne,” Alex whispered.

I was quiet. I really wanted to ask him to come with me. I knew that nothing could come out of it, Peyton was waiting for me at home, but I truly hated sleeping alone. Even when Peyton and I got in fights, I’d become accustomed to fall asleep to Alejandro’s breathing.

But I knew how he felt about me, and I didn’t want to get his hopes up.

But I really did hate sleeping alone.

“Come to bed with me?” I finally asked.

Alex looked over at me. He had eyes full of curiosity, but he nodded. We both got off the couch and walked to the bunk area, climbing into mine. Alex pulled his shirt off and snaked his arms around me. I snuggled my nose into his neck, enjoying his embrace.

“This is nice,” I said, sighing in content. Alex hummed.

Many thoughts were zooming through my head. I think I was enjoying this a lot more then I should’ve been. A lot more then I enjoyed cuddling with Peyton, I mean.

I could feel Alex’s hair tickling my shoulders. His breathing was soft and slow.

“Goodnight, Lex,” I murmured.

“Nigh’, Candy Cayne,” Alex said in a quiet voice. His breathing slowed.

Alex fell asleep right away, but I lay awake trying to sort my thoughts.

Should I take this as a sign that I should be with Alex rather than Peyton, the way I feel right now? So perfectly fitted in Alex’s arms?

But I couldn’t do that to Peyton. I told him I still loved him and it would be betraying him to go back on my word.

But aren’t I betraying him now, wrapping my arms around Alex’s naked waist?

I pushed away my thoughts and drifted off into a comfortable sleep.