We Only Breathe For So Long

I am doing this. I’m doing this! Oh God… I’m doing this.

I couldn’t replace my thoughts with anything rather than those words. I truly could not believe that I was in a car, with all my belongings and a ticket in my hand with a destination written in big, bold letters. I am doing this. I’m leaving home, for good. I’m leaving my dad behind to go out there in the real world. The real world where there is no one there for me beside myself. I am doing this. And I know that I will make it. Although the weather differs so much, how could I possibly not make it? It’s a chance to start a fresh, to build new and better memories.

We arrived at the airport at 8:14 to be exact. I kept checking my watch, afraid that suddenly the pointers would start spinning madly and then I’d wake up. But that never happened. My dad and I unloaded his pickup truck and then followed the signs until we reached the Embarking entrance, just before security check.

“Dad, I-”

“No, Kylie. Do not say you’re sorry. You have said that far too many times. I promise I’ll be okay. I was on my own too before your mother appeared, don’t you forget.”

“But Dad-” I insisted on talking.

“And no, I will not burn the entire kitchen or something of that sort,” he said with a laughter forming his wrinkles.

“I know you won’t Dad,” I held his warm hands, “I also know that you’re not going to order take-outs everyday either. You better cook! Or else I will come down here myself, you hear me?” the words exited my mouth through a smirk.

“I won’t, you betcha’!” he squeezed my hand slightly, “But that’s not the point. The point is that this is the time for a goodbye. It certainly does not mean that you will get rid of me because you won’t,” I faked a disappointed frown, ”Skype exists and I am a very up to date man, so you will be seeing my face constantly!”

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. He softly whispered as if he was telling me something no one knew, “I love you. A lot. I want what’s best for you and if this is it, so be it. I want you to get in that plane, settle in, get a job, study hard and find someone to be there for you. Someone who despites all problems will be there through thick and thin moments. I know I’ve never talked about this kind of stuff because your mom always did but you have to find someone like that. Never forget your old man though.”

He gently placed his lips upon my hand and placed it closed to his heart. Tears blurred my eyes while I hugged him with all my might. I kissed him on his left cheek and whispered to him, “I love you Dad.”

I looked at him once more, trying to absorb every single detail about him so that I could always picture him in my mind. When I managed to do so, I picked up my suitcases from the floor and walked throughout the lines of security check. Every so often I’d find myself looking back from where I came from to see if he was still there, and he was every time. Once I passed through the metal detector, I could no longer see him. After that, I never looked back again. I couldn’t. If it meant a new life, it meant that I would have to get pass all of the things that happened before this moment. I wouldn’t be able to ever look back.

I entered the plane and a wave of fresh air hit me. Arizona is humid and absolutely hot, the weather’s minimum is 30 degrees Celsius. I didn’t own any jackets or hoodies because it would be suicide to wear it around there. It would stick to your body because of the damp air and you wouldn’t be able to take the heat. Canada was the total opposite. The only season that you could find there was winter. Their summer involves snow, and that’s cold enough for me. Uncle Ronald said Angela would take me shopping for suitable clothes as soon as I got there. Through photos, Angela seemed like a very sweet and generous person. Her mahogany hair matching her hazel eyes brought a sense of closure and her skinny frame and soft features made her look even more loving. I never really heard about their daughter though. I would be living under the same roof as her and I didn’t even know the girl’s name or her age for a matter of fact. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander off. The last thing I remember is the pressure from the aircraft’s take off.