We Only Breathe For So Long

“I went to Toronto, to spend some days with Mark,” Jane said, making sure to breath in and out properly without fainting from panic. “When I came back to town, Eric wasn’t at home. I thought he was with you, that’s why I called you that morning.”

How could I have been so selfish? Jane called me, asked me if I was with Eric, and my answer could’ve put her heart at ease. Instead, I ended the call, without even bothering to know why she asked such. You’re pathetic Kylie, I thought to myself.

She wipped the fallen tears with the back of her hands. “After that, I waited. I thought he would show up later at night. The next day came and he never came home.”

I forced myself to move, I couldn’t handle this sight any longer. I went back to the living room and closed the door behind me. I sat down on the couch, supporting my head with my hands, trying to grasp all the information Jane was telling me. Trying to believe it was all true.

“Next thing I knew, I got a call from a hospital ten miles away. They told me someone was badly injured, but I refused to believe it was Eric. It could’ve been a mistake, and they could’ve contacted the wrong person. But as much as I wished that was true, I knew it was very unlikely to occur. So I rushed to the hospital.”

This whole time, while I was in my own little word living great moments beside John, Jane was lost, uncertain of what to think or do. And Eric was absolutely broken. I felt the pain he was enduring just by looking at him, imagine the pain he was really having. After our silly food fight and silly mistake, I had shoved him off of my mind just because I thought it was the right thing to do. But look what doing the right thing got me into. Sure, I wasn’t the one who was lying in a bed, unconscious and unable to move because of severe pains. But I felt responsible somehow; I thought that if I had hanged around, joining him and Greg for Saturday soccer nights, this could’ve been prevented.

“When I got there, I found him like… that.” She began crying, even the thought of her brother- being like what seemed dead- terrorized her.

I heard a faint grunt in the background. The silence was so loud that I could hear it no matter how soft it was. I got up from the couch and ran to the room where Eric was. I switched on the lights, knowing exactly where the light switch was this time.

His eyes were opened, yet he had difficulties keeping his right eye opened for longer than two seconds, and he seemed confused. He was trying to move, unsuccessfully, his head turned ever so slightly. He looked almost… stunned.

I took a deep breath in and tried to push down the lump on my throat, as I got closer to him. I kneeled down, stretched my hand out to touch him but I refrained from doing so. I was afraid I would hurt him even more just through a gentle touch.

“Where am I?” he asked. If I hadn’t been close to him, I wouldn’t have heard his whisper. He looked utterly shocked, as if I could hurt him even more.

“The doctor said he didn’t know if his memory loss would be temporary or not.”

Jane’s words sucked the air out of my lungs.

If this was a dream, I would want to wake up in this very instant.