We Only Breathe For So Long

Eric and I stepped in Starbucks as the heat and coffee aroma flooded our lungs. The place was packed with people; many were talking loudly and laughing before taking a sip of their coffee. A few minutes later, we managed to grab a table. The waiters and waitresses were pacing from table to table, trying to be as fast and efficient as they could in order to get better tips. A group of children ran around as their mothers gossiped over a cup of tea.

The atmosphere seemed to ease Eric’s tension a bit but I could see he was nervous about meeting this mysterious person. I was impatiently shaking my foot, watching the front door open and close, letting strangers in and out, while waiting for his royal highness to arrive. As I finished thinking the thought, Greg stepped in through the doors.

Nothing had changed about his nerdy appearance since the last time I’d seen him. His hair was still kind of long, swept to one side and out of the way from his glasses. He wore a hoodie underneath his jacket, like he always did, and all-stars.

Occasionally, I thought about how Greg used to look like the male version of me, minus the glasses and sandy brown hair. If people weren’t really paying attention, they’d think we were related, maybe siblings.

His eyes scanned the room, looking for me, and his phone was in his hands in case he didn’t find me. When he met my eyes, I got up from my seat and met him halfway, bear hugging him.

“Oh, I’ve missed you kiddo!” I said over his shoulder, not planning to let him go any soon. He still smelled like baby cologne, like he always did.

With all the sudden changes and adaptations in my life, Greg was the one thing that remained the same. And I felt forever grateful for that, but guilty too. The chaos from the short period of time distanced myself from him, something I heavily regretted.

“I wished I could say the same, but last time I checked, you didn’t look like a zombie,” he muffled a laugh.

When we parted from our hug, he ran towards our table and tackled Eric out of his chair. “Man, as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve missed you Asstini!” he patted his chest, grinning like mad. “Why haven’t you returned any of my calls?”

Eric remained motionless, as lost as a sheep, not certain of what to do. He looked at me, screaming for help inside, not knowing if it was safe to breathe or say anything.

“Greg uhhh-” I held his shoulders, pushing him a few steps away. “Can we talk for a minute?”

He smiled at Eric before we walked outside of the shop. We were in the parking lot, away from the entrance to let people pass through easily and so we could have a quiet ambient.

The sun was nowhere to be found, but a few rays of sunlight shone through the thin clouds that were all over the sky. Everyday looked like Christmas in this town, there would always be snow surrounding everything and filling up the pavement.

“What’s up?” Greg asked, squinting his eyes because of the rays of sunshine.

I turned around to face him as I leaned against an unknown car. “Eric lost his memory.”

After days of acceptance and having to explain everyone about what had happened with him, breaking the news to people who were unaware of it had become easier. I didn’t feel like crying anymore nor did I find the need to ramble on about it.

“What?” he asked, perplexed. “What do you mean, he lost his memory?” He stepped closer to me, ready to lose his temper.

“He was involved in an accident a few days ago, no one knows how it happened. Jane found him ten miles away after a call from a hospital. He was suffering with amnesia and the doctor didn’t know whether he would gain his memory back or not.”

I looked at my shoes, not wanting to see sadness spread through Greg’s face. But it wasn’t sadness that had spread through his face. It was shock, followed by confusion, and then followed by anger.

He turned around, clenching his fists, ready to punch a brick wall. His bottom lip was tucked between his teeth as he looked up to the sky, trying to subside his anger. “I can’t believe you caused this, Kylie.”