Status: Updates will be kind of slow, it depends on who pisses me off really.
Welcome to the Mind of you Average Depressed Teen
1/6/13
She leaned against the wall holding her hand to her chest sobbing her eyes out. She glanced down at the picture in her other hand which seemed to be a happy family. A once happy family, happy no more.
Through all the depression and sadness and the tears she managed to hold up a smile for her friends and family. Once she was alone, it was all over. The self-loathing, self-pity, how shit her family and life was and how she was seconds away from ending it all. But there was that one face, that one smile and voice and touch that kept her from going over the edge. Could it really be enough, could he be her anchor?
She lay there, on the cold hard ground, gasping for air through the sobs of her unobtainable cries. Was anything really worth it anymore? It seemed as if nothing she did helped or made her happy. She was depressed, angry, upset. She felt all the horrible emotions that no one would wish upon their worst enemy. She sits up and closes her eyes, squeezing her eye lids real tight, she takes the picture frame, has a small hidden smile on her face and slams it against the wall. The glass shatters and she opens her eyes. She takes the picture and kisses every head in the picture and puts it on her lap. She grabs the largest shard of glass and holds it against her wrist. “Go down the road, not across the street.” She does as the little reminder tells her. She slides the glass down her arm making silent screams. As she grabs the picture with her wet eyes and bloody arms, she woozily slides down to lay on the floor and whispers the words, “I’m sorry..”
Her mother stands over her bloody body, with a bottle of vodka in her hand, she screams for her husband to come up the stairs to help her. Her daughter, almost dead on the floor. Her father carries her to the car and rushes to the hospital. Her drunk, stumbling mother stays at home to tuck the kids in goodnight, which she fails to do and passes out on the couch, she’s not tuned in to the world to see what is actually going on.
The next morning, her mother has a major hangover but she is able to comprehend her surroundings. She her empty bottle of vodka on the floor and knows it was a rough night. She goes and apologizes to her two sons, and they easily forgive her, of course they do, they’re too young to understand what is really going on. She slowly walks up the stairs to her daughter’s room. Something looks, odd, not right. She slowly opens the squeaky door to see and light trail of blood splatters from the top of the stairs to her bathroom. As she approaches the bathroom her mind shoots to a flashback of the night before and her daughter laying on the floor. A buzzing noise is occurring in her mind as all this is happening. Her lips seem to move but no words are being heard. She opens the bathroom door and gasps and screams at the bloody cite that the bathroom now is. Her fist clenched and against her chest and she just cries. She bends down and picks up the bloody picture of her once happy family.
She calls her husband and he answers tiredly.
“Hello?”
“Hun, what’s going on? What happened? Is Hayden okay?” A million questions swirling around her head, she couldn’t bear to ask what she was really thinking.
“She’s in critical condition, she lost, a lot of blood.” He says, “They don’t know what is actually going to happen, if she’ll live or not. The doctor said it was out of depression, she cut herself Mary, and it’s really bad. Can you look around, see if there’s a suicide note of some sort?”
She explores the room and finds a piece of paper which reads:
Dear everyone who actually gives a shit,
As you’ve noticed, I’ve tried to kill myself. If you really know me, you’ll know of my battle with depression for a few years now. The abandonment, self-hate, embarrassment, and just the aggravation I’ve been dealing with my mother. Everyone in my life who I've actually put effort into, just know that I love you and I’m happy now. Happy to be away from this hell that I live in. I love you and I am so, terribly sorry, please forgive and forget me, that’s all I ask.
~Hayden
Mary dies a bit on the inside knowing that she’s a contributing factor to her depression and attempt at suicide. She falls to the ground and curls into a ball and just cries. She lets every emotion out. She thought she had her own problems, but she was too selfish and careless to see something that was right in front of her. She now hated herself too, maybe as much as her daughter hated herself, but she wouldn't know at least until awhile. She called her friend over to watch her two younger boys as she went to the hospital, now sobered up and showered, in a different bathroom of course.
She enters the hospital and looks for her husband. He sits there head in his hands and crying. Hayden is dead. She’s gone and now nothing can bring her back. Mary falls to the ground and cries, and cries, and cries. She’s just done. Her baby girl is dead, and it’s partially her fault. Hayden is just gone.
Through all the depression and sadness and the tears she managed to hold up a smile for her friends and family. Once she was alone, it was all over. The self-loathing, self-pity, how shit her family and life was and how she was seconds away from ending it all. But there was that one face, that one smile and voice and touch that kept her from going over the edge. Could it really be enough, could he be her anchor?
She lay there, on the cold hard ground, gasping for air through the sobs of her unobtainable cries. Was anything really worth it anymore? It seemed as if nothing she did helped or made her happy. She was depressed, angry, upset. She felt all the horrible emotions that no one would wish upon their worst enemy. She sits up and closes her eyes, squeezing her eye lids real tight, she takes the picture frame, has a small hidden smile on her face and slams it against the wall. The glass shatters and she opens her eyes. She takes the picture and kisses every head in the picture and puts it on her lap. She grabs the largest shard of glass and holds it against her wrist. “Go down the road, not across the street.” She does as the little reminder tells her. She slides the glass down her arm making silent screams. As she grabs the picture with her wet eyes and bloody arms, she woozily slides down to lay on the floor and whispers the words, “I’m sorry..”
Her mother stands over her bloody body, with a bottle of vodka in her hand, she screams for her husband to come up the stairs to help her. Her daughter, almost dead on the floor. Her father carries her to the car and rushes to the hospital. Her drunk, stumbling mother stays at home to tuck the kids in goodnight, which she fails to do and passes out on the couch, she’s not tuned in to the world to see what is actually going on.
The next morning, her mother has a major hangover but she is able to comprehend her surroundings. She her empty bottle of vodka on the floor and knows it was a rough night. She goes and apologizes to her two sons, and they easily forgive her, of course they do, they’re too young to understand what is really going on. She slowly walks up the stairs to her daughter’s room. Something looks, odd, not right. She slowly opens the squeaky door to see and light trail of blood splatters from the top of the stairs to her bathroom. As she approaches the bathroom her mind shoots to a flashback of the night before and her daughter laying on the floor. A buzzing noise is occurring in her mind as all this is happening. Her lips seem to move but no words are being heard. She opens the bathroom door and gasps and screams at the bloody cite that the bathroom now is. Her fist clenched and against her chest and she just cries. She bends down and picks up the bloody picture of her once happy family.
She calls her husband and he answers tiredly.
“Hello?”
“Hun, what’s going on? What happened? Is Hayden okay?” A million questions swirling around her head, she couldn’t bear to ask what she was really thinking.
“She’s in critical condition, she lost, a lot of blood.” He says, “They don’t know what is actually going to happen, if she’ll live or not. The doctor said it was out of depression, she cut herself Mary, and it’s really bad. Can you look around, see if there’s a suicide note of some sort?”
She explores the room and finds a piece of paper which reads:
Dear everyone who actually gives a shit,
As you’ve noticed, I’ve tried to kill myself. If you really know me, you’ll know of my battle with depression for a few years now. The abandonment, self-hate, embarrassment, and just the aggravation I’ve been dealing with my mother. Everyone in my life who I've actually put effort into, just know that I love you and I’m happy now. Happy to be away from this hell that I live in. I love you and I am so, terribly sorry, please forgive and forget me, that’s all I ask.
~Hayden
Mary dies a bit on the inside knowing that she’s a contributing factor to her depression and attempt at suicide. She falls to the ground and curls into a ball and just cries. She lets every emotion out. She thought she had her own problems, but she was too selfish and careless to see something that was right in front of her. She now hated herself too, maybe as much as her daughter hated herself, but she wouldn't know at least until awhile. She called her friend over to watch her two younger boys as she went to the hospital, now sobered up and showered, in a different bathroom of course.
She enters the hospital and looks for her husband. He sits there head in his hands and crying. Hayden is dead. She’s gone and now nothing can bring her back. Mary falls to the ground and cries, and cries, and cries. She’s just done. Her baby girl is dead, and it’s partially her fault. Hayden is just gone.
♠ ♠ ♠
Well, here ya go XD