Status: Depends on participants
Maybe I'm A Different Breed
Solitude
I feel out of place. The black sheep of the family. Few times in the past have I felt like this but not for such a long period. My heart aches when I see them all. Yes, they have problems just like me but I still feel somewhat put to shame by them in a way.
My sister is gorgeous. Thin, straight teeth, nearly flawless skin. What some might think is the epitome of beauty. Our eyes are probably the only way people would be able to tell that we were related. Well, kind of.. Her eyes have a bit more green and hazel in them compared to my straight, ice blue ones.
My brother is tall. Strong. Like a teddy bear almost. He’s kind, stubborn like all of us, but mostly gentle. He, along with my sister, can dance. Make people laugh nearly all of the time. I envy him most days.
I envy them both most days. Especially my sister. Yet, I still love them. They are the only blood siblings that I have and I really truly do appreciate them.
My parents are a completely different story. still love them nonetheless as well.
Same goes for my shitty friends. I had one practically abandon me. Two others make me feel as if I'm an option in their lives; like I'll be there whenever they get sick of one another.
But still, I yearn to make them all happy or complacent.
But now… Now I just don’t have any motivation. I want to be anywhere than where I’m at. Hell, most of the time I don’t want to be anywhere or even here. My chest constricts with the thought of being depressed but I just shrug it off. I’m not depressed. I’ll be fine. That’s what I tell myself because it’s true. However, some days I don’t really think so.
I just want to be alone. Not have much for anything for responsibilities concerning other people. Mundane stuff such as paying for insurance or going to work or even fucking buying groceries would be enough for me. Simple, fucking mundane tasks.
By myself.
Because that’s what I crave.
Hell, leave me alone to read a book or drown in music. Let me get away. Leave me in a house by myself. I’ll live. I don’t need to be that social to be happy.
Solitude, again, is currently the way to go.
My sister is gorgeous. Thin, straight teeth, nearly flawless skin. What some might think is the epitome of beauty. Our eyes are probably the only way people would be able to tell that we were related. Well, kind of.. Her eyes have a bit more green and hazel in them compared to my straight, ice blue ones.
My brother is tall. Strong. Like a teddy bear almost. He’s kind, stubborn like all of us, but mostly gentle. He, along with my sister, can dance. Make people laugh nearly all of the time. I envy him most days.
I envy them both most days. Especially my sister. Yet, I still love them. They are the only blood siblings that I have and I really truly do appreciate them.
My parents are a completely different story. still love them nonetheless as well.
Same goes for my shitty friends. I had one practically abandon me. Two others make me feel as if I'm an option in their lives; like I'll be there whenever they get sick of one another.
But still, I yearn to make them all happy or complacent.
But now… Now I just don’t have any motivation. I want to be anywhere than where I’m at. Hell, most of the time I don’t want to be anywhere or even here. My chest constricts with the thought of being depressed but I just shrug it off. I’m not depressed. I’ll be fine. That’s what I tell myself because it’s true. However, some days I don’t really think so.
I just want to be alone. Not have much for anything for responsibilities concerning other people. Mundane stuff such as paying for insurance or going to work or even fucking buying groceries would be enough for me. Simple, fucking mundane tasks.
By myself.
Because that’s what I crave.
Hell, leave me alone to read a book or drown in music. Let me get away. Leave me in a house by myself. I’ll live. I don’t need to be that social to be happy.
Solitude, again, is currently the way to go.
♠ ♠ ♠
And it begins...