Home
1/1
I felt the tug. The need overwhelmed me. I was miserable without the comfort and joy that the place brought me. But I couldn't go. I busied myself, trying to ignore it. There was much that needed to be done for tomorrow. Taping a box full of books, I looked around me. This is my house, I couldn't leave. So many memories, events, it all lived here. How could I leave? But I had no control over it. No matter how much I wanted, needed, to stay - that part of me would be ignored.
Vaguely, I heard a box fall somewhere in the house. Dropping my work, I quickly searched for the source. My quest led me to the most open room in the house. One that had tall, clear windows. My breath caught in my throat. If I saw...NO. I couldn't let myself look. Once I looked, I yearned. That yearn would only cease after I pleased it. Which meant going to it. Quenching the thirst. Answering the call.
I avoided the magnificent view beyond the glass. The noise had come from my mother. She stared at a paper, looking mournful, sadness taking over her features. Transforming them. I picked up the fallen box and extracted the sheet from her limp hands. Glancing briefly at the photo, I pulled her into an embrace, to comfort. I had been doing so much of that lately, it was like second nature.
She pulled away from the closeness, resuming her activity. Brushing me off. I left her there, bringing the colored sheet along with me. There was something I needed to do. Before I left. I needed to embrace the thing that caused all this suffering. I needed to feel it's comfort, to relive some of the things it held. I left the house.
As I climbed, skidded, and shuffled, images entered my mind. Along with them, thoughts and feelings I once had. Ones that hadn't visited for a time. I watched the slideshow in my mind, wishing those carefree days were here again. Tears came to my eyes. I wished desperately I could go back. Change just one thing. Then all would be right. But that was impossible.
I halted at the edge where one world ended and another began. I had loved that world. Had been more a part of it than my own world. My one love had betrayed me. Took from me something that couldn't be regained.
"Why?" I whispered the word, tears falling down my face. Dropping to my knees, I looked out. "Why did you take him?"
Once again, memories filled my mind. Closing my eyes, I saw each of them. All involving my wonderful world. It's beauty, its danger, its hold. I had spent all my time here. Ever since I was able to crawl. I wanted to be a part of it. To study it, and it's creatures that dwell within.
I heard the wind call my name in whispers, swirling my hair around my face. Opening my eyes I looked out. Saw how incredible it looked. Felt joy, finally. It was a beautiful sight. Words cannot describe. I saw everything. The wind blowing over the water. The waves crashing against the sand. The sun slowly sinking below the horizon.
I hastily removed my shoes and dug my toes into the warm sand. Closing my eyes, I blocked out the world, listening to the sounds all around me. It was oh so peaceful. I heard something splash, then start to click. I opened my eyes, already recognizing the sounds.
Dolphins. The creatures came into view. So majestic, so dangerous, so unpredictable. Though I knew those reasons were exactly why I was so drawn to them and their surroundings. Without thinking, I did as instinct commanded. Standing, the photo fell out of my grasp, landing in the disturbed sand. My father's face, happy as he was in life, shown on a sailboat. His meaning for life, and the cause of his death. Somehow, I always knew he would go like this. The one thing you love most, often causes you to lose everything.
I waded in the water, towards the animals. They beckoned. Several played in the shallows, waiting. I now knew I couldn't leave this place, this town. I would never be able to come here if I moved, would never able to be myself. All that lived in this place was a part of me. Distance couldn't change that. It would only make me more miserable. Right here in that moment, I knew I was right where I belonged. No matter what could happen, I was willing to take the risk.
Because risk or danger....I was Home.
Vaguely, I heard a box fall somewhere in the house. Dropping my work, I quickly searched for the source. My quest led me to the most open room in the house. One that had tall, clear windows. My breath caught in my throat. If I saw...NO. I couldn't let myself look. Once I looked, I yearned. That yearn would only cease after I pleased it. Which meant going to it. Quenching the thirst. Answering the call.
I avoided the magnificent view beyond the glass. The noise had come from my mother. She stared at a paper, looking mournful, sadness taking over her features. Transforming them. I picked up the fallen box and extracted the sheet from her limp hands. Glancing briefly at the photo, I pulled her into an embrace, to comfort. I had been doing so much of that lately, it was like second nature.
She pulled away from the closeness, resuming her activity. Brushing me off. I left her there, bringing the colored sheet along with me. There was something I needed to do. Before I left. I needed to embrace the thing that caused all this suffering. I needed to feel it's comfort, to relive some of the things it held. I left the house.
As I climbed, skidded, and shuffled, images entered my mind. Along with them, thoughts and feelings I once had. Ones that hadn't visited for a time. I watched the slideshow in my mind, wishing those carefree days were here again. Tears came to my eyes. I wished desperately I could go back. Change just one thing. Then all would be right. But that was impossible.
I halted at the edge where one world ended and another began. I had loved that world. Had been more a part of it than my own world. My one love had betrayed me. Took from me something that couldn't be regained.
"Why?" I whispered the word, tears falling down my face. Dropping to my knees, I looked out. "Why did you take him?"
Once again, memories filled my mind. Closing my eyes, I saw each of them. All involving my wonderful world. It's beauty, its danger, its hold. I had spent all my time here. Ever since I was able to crawl. I wanted to be a part of it. To study it, and it's creatures that dwell within.
I heard the wind call my name in whispers, swirling my hair around my face. Opening my eyes I looked out. Saw how incredible it looked. Felt joy, finally. It was a beautiful sight. Words cannot describe. I saw everything. The wind blowing over the water. The waves crashing against the sand. The sun slowly sinking below the horizon.
I hastily removed my shoes and dug my toes into the warm sand. Closing my eyes, I blocked out the world, listening to the sounds all around me. It was oh so peaceful. I heard something splash, then start to click. I opened my eyes, already recognizing the sounds.
Dolphins. The creatures came into view. So majestic, so dangerous, so unpredictable. Though I knew those reasons were exactly why I was so drawn to them and their surroundings. Without thinking, I did as instinct commanded. Standing, the photo fell out of my grasp, landing in the disturbed sand. My father's face, happy as he was in life, shown on a sailboat. His meaning for life, and the cause of his death. Somehow, I always knew he would go like this. The one thing you love most, often causes you to lose everything.
I waded in the water, towards the animals. They beckoned. Several played in the shallows, waiting. I now knew I couldn't leave this place, this town. I would never be able to come here if I moved, would never able to be myself. All that lived in this place was a part of me. Distance couldn't change that. It would only make me more miserable. Right here in that moment, I knew I was right where I belonged. No matter what could happen, I was willing to take the risk.
Because risk or danger....I was Home.