Death-Wish Kids

My dad was up from the table within seconds, causing the rest of the group to stand up as well. Gerard came to my side, fingers finding mine, and leaned against me. His parents looked concerned but uncertain. There wasn’t much they could do now that they were stuck in the eye of the storm. The fight between my father and I raged up around them.

“You have no income and nowhere to go, Cyren,” my father said, shaking his head at me as he fumed, “If you leave this house, you’ll end up like your mother.”

“You should’ve just left me there,” I said, remembering all the reasons he’d brought me here, “You’ve got to stop overcompensating for being a bad father. I know that you’re trying to make up for everything that happened when you left me with Mom, but we can’t take back what happened, Dad. I got pregnant. I have a son. I’m not going to live the same lifestyle as Ryder and Noah. I don’t have that many choices, so you’ve got to let go and let me make the choices I want.”

“What do you want?” he asked, grabbing onto the back of the chair, “You want Gerard? You want to live with him and play house? What happens when he gets tired of raising someone else’s kid and decides it’s not for him? What then, Cyren? What will you have left?”

“I don’t know, Dad, but it’s worth a chance,” I argued, “You’re not the one who has to put up with Mitchell and deal with his parents. If I have a shot at actually being with someone who loves us both, me and Micah, then why shouldn’t I take it?”

My dad was more angry than I’d ever seen him. We’d fought countless times about how I wanted to live my life and how he wanted me to raise Micah, but it’d never been this heated before. Gerard’s parents looked shocked by the amount of anger that was bubbling up in this room and Gerard stood next to me, just in front of me enough to shield me in case my dad exploded.

My dad seemed to catch onto the boy’s posture and it only made him angrier. His voice was calm and controlled, but everyone knew that he was more pissed off than before. “Cyren, get over here,” he demanded, not moving from his spot, “You’re not leaving with Gerard and you’re not taking Micah with you.”

Donald stepped forward, invading the space between us and my father. “Everyone needs to calm down,” he said, grabbing his son’s arm, “Gerard, take a step back.”

Gerard looked incredulously at his father. “I’m not leaving them,” he said, shaking his dad off, “I love her and this is her decision. I’m here for whatever she needs.”

“You’re not taking her out of this house,” my dad said, shaking his head at Gerard.

Gerard eyed him. “That’s not your decision.”

My dad surged forward, on edge and pissed off. “I’m her father, Gerard. You’re nothing special and you don’t get to speak for her.”

“Maybe if you’d listen to her, I wouldn’t have to,” Gerard answered, “You’re the one causing all of this. If you would stop holding all her mistakes over her head and let her make her own choices this never would’ve happened.”

“Gerard, you be quiet right now,” Don demanded, shoving his son back. Gerard was just as angry as my father now and he tried to push out of his dad’s grasp, but Don held him back and told him to calm down.

Donna came to me, stopping quietly at my side. My father yelled for Don to take his kid outside and keep him away from me, which only made Gerard even angrier. Gerard was taller than his father by a lot, but lankier, so Don was able to hold the boy back.

“Cyren, what do you want to do?” Donna asked gently, resting her hand on my arm and on Micah’s back comfortingly, “I know this is a lot right now and I’m sorry, but you’re the one who needs to decide.”

“I love him,” I said, tears welling in my eyes, “I really love him.”

“I know,” Donna said, glancing back at my father, “But Gerard won’t hate you if you decide to stay here and listen to your father. He won’t hate you at all.”

“You’re not leaving, Cyren,” my father said, his voice actually calmer now that Gerard was gone from the room, “I know you think you love him, but it’s not worth throwing all of this away. You’ve come so far. Don’t let a boy ruin things for you.”

“He won’t ruin anything for her,” Donna spoke, defending her son, “You need to understand, Mr. Alexander, that sometimes there are multiple paths in life and neither one is better or worse.”

She stepped back so that she was standing beside me and motioned towards the table. “Sit down,” she said to me, and then offered the same words to my father, “I think we should talk about this before Gee comes back. He’s too upset right now.”

My father stayed standing until the rest of us were seated and then he sat down in his same spot. None of us knew what Don and Gerard were talking about, but Donna had a proposition of her own.

She faced my father. “I think that Cyren and Micah should come with us,” she said, speaking before my dad could interrupt, “She’s obviously struggling with a lot of decisions lately and neither one of you are going to figure anything out if you keep yelling at each other.”

“You’re not taking her out of this house,” Dad said immediately, “If she leaves this house, I will call the cops.” He stood up and moved towards the counter where his phone sat. “That’s my kid and my grandson and you have no right to take her out of this house.”

“Mr. Alexander, please calm down-“

“Don’t tell me to calm down,” he shouted, “You come in my house and tell me that you’re taking my daughter and grandson to live with your son? That’s bullshit and I won’t let it happen. I don’t know who you people think you are. You’re certainly not Cyren and Micah’s family.”

“Dad, please,” I said, brushing Micah’s hair out of his face, “Don’t do this. I can make my own decisions. You know I’d never do anything to hurt Micah.”

“Taking him away from his family will hurt him, Cyren,” he answered, leaning back against the counter, “You think that he’ll be okay living with strangers, but you have no idea what it’s like to be on your own with a baby.”

“I was on my own in Florida,” I shouted, “You always forget that I took care of myself for years, and when Micah came along I took care of him too! You didn’t even know I was pregnant until Mom called you drunk at two in the morning complaining that you never paid for any of my doctors’ bills!”

“Cyren, if you want to go, lets go,” Donna said, getting up from the table, “I’ll call the police myself and let them know what’s happening. I won’t leave here with you unless we get it on record that it’s completely legal for you to leave with us.”

“I need to take Micah to Gerard,” I said, turning away from my father, “Then I can get our stuff. I’m sorry.”

Donna rubbed my arm. “Don’t apologize,” she said, “I’ll take the baby.”

“Cyren, don’t do this,” my father said as he followed us out of the kitchen, “You’re acting like a child. You know I’m trying to do what’s best for you and Micah.”

“I love him, Dad,” I said, watching as Donna left the room with her cellphone to her ear and the baby in her arms. “I need you to realize that I can make choices for my son and myself. If I have to leave for you to understand, then I will.”

My dad shouted for Donna as she walked outside with the baby, leaving the front door wide open. He wasn’t sure whether to go after Micah or me, but this situation was out of his control now.

Noah was at the top of the stairs, tears in his eyes. “What’s going on?” he asked, wiping at his face, “Are you leaving?”

I brushed past him, running my fingers through his curls as I went. “Yeah, No, Micah and I are leaving for awhile. But don’t worry, you’ll still see him whenever you want, okay?”

“Why’s Dad yelling?” he asked, following me back to my room like my shadow, “Why are you leaving? Dad doesn’t want you to go, Cyren. I don’t want you to go either.”

“I have to go, Noie,” I told him, grabbing my backpack and stuffing it with as much as I could before I stepped around my brother and went to Micah’s room to get his things. I packed most of his diapers, his formula, bottles, and a lot of his clothes. I grabbed his blanket from his crib on my way back out. I could hear my father talking to someone when I headed back down with Noah.

My dad stood just inside the door and across from him was a uniformed officer. “She’s seventeen years old and trying to leave to live with her boyfriend,” my dad explained before I came into sight, “She’s taking my grandson with her all of a sudden.”

“Is,” the officer checked his notebook, “Gerard Way the baby’s father?”

“No,” my dad answered vehemently, “He’s just Cyren’s boyfriend. He’s twenty years old and his parents have come to help him take Cyren out of the house.”

“This is my choice,” I said as I came into the room with Noah at my side, “I’m leaving with my son because you’re still trying to control all the aspects of our lives. I love you, Dad, but you don’t understand that I make my own decisions. Gerard didn’t decide this for me and neither did his parents.”

“This is stupid,” Dad said, “You’re going to ruin that little boy’s life when you walk out of this house.”

Another officer walked through the open doorway into the house. He had Micah in his arms and I immediately moved over to him. He frowned at me and glanced to my father. “Are you this baby’s mother?” he asked.

“Yes, yes,” I said, taking Micah as he handed him over, “I gave him to Gerard. You can’t just take my son.”

“Ms. Alexander, we have to be incredibly careful when children are involved. It’s our bottom to get to the bottom of the situation and figure out who is supposed to be with whom. Let me just clarify, this is your father, Gerard is your boyfriend, and you’re the baby’s mother.”

“Yes.”

“How old are you, Ms. Alexander?”

“Seventeen.”

“And you’re leaving your father’s house on your own volition?”

“Yes,” I answered again, “and I’m taking my son with me.”

The cop nodded and then pointed to Noah. “Who’s child is he?”

“Mine,” my father said quickly, pulling Noah to his side.

The cops stood side by side and the same one nodded. “I don’t know if this domestic dispute was caused because your daughter wants to be with someone who you don’t like or if you don’t want her to leave the house with your grandson, but there’s really nothing we can do about either of those things, Mr. Alexander. Cyren is legally allowed to leave. Emancipation is tricky in the state of New Jersey, but from what I’ve seen, as a mother, Cyren has the right to make decisions for herself and her child and if she decides to live somewhere else there’s nothing we can do to stop her.”

Donna, Gerard, and his father came into the house together. Gerard was much calmer and he came to my side and reached for the baby. I handed Micah over while Don and Donna grabbed a couple of our bags from me.

The officer turned to me. “Cyren, it’s your decision to leave with the Ways tonight?” he questioned, glancing to Gerard and the baby he held.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Elliot, I hope we can talk in a few days and work this out,” Donna said from my side, “You love your daughter and we love our son. As parents we just want what’s best for them, so I’d like to stay in contact with you.”

My father looked pained by my decision. It wasn’t anger that kept him from looking me in the eyes. Neither one of us imagined that tonight would turn out this way, but I’d made my choice.

“I love you, Cyren,” he spoke, nodding to Donna, “You can come home whenever you want. If you need a few days, then take them, but don’t do this to Micah.”

“He’s my son,” I said quietly, “He goes where I go. I won’t leave him behind because the situation isn’t working for me anymore.”

Dad flinched at the comment and then nodded, holding Noah close. “Call me in a couple days, then,” he said, “Keep me updated on how the boy’s doing, okay?”

“Yeah, Dad,” I agreed, “I’ll talk to you in a couple days.”