Status: If there's any message to my work, it is ultimately that it's OK to be different, that it's good to be different, that we should question ourselves before we pass judgment on someone who looks different, behaves different, talks different, is a different color. ~Johnny Depp
Are the Cameras on yet?
Chapter four
Every day the past 6 days I wrote in my journal, Trying to get what I'm thinking out. I couldn't keep it bottled up inside.
Day one,
Today started off like any other day I got up, did my stuff. At about noon an image popped into my mind. It was not an image that normally would be there without reason, Johnny's beautiful eyes. The ones that outshine everything. They are just so deep and beautiful, you could get lost in them for ever. His perfect eyelashes that accent his eyes. Make them even bolder, even brighter. The eyes that made me melt for so many years. The same eyes that when mad at me would break my heart, or when they were sad would crush me. The eyes that could look at me and just tore me apart for what they were asking for. The same exact eyes that I'd look into daily and tell how I loved them, and they would always be my best friend. His beautiful majestic eyes. Why do they have to torment me, they always have. They are just, so, perfect.
Day two,
Just as yesterday my day started off perfectly normal. At about 10 O'clock I got a call from Dimitri, he said how he was sorry it took him so long to call but he was out of minutes. It was nice to hear his voice. But after thinking back to yesterday I thought about Dimitri's eyes. Did they make me melt like Johnny's did? I don't think they ever did. His eyes were always covered by his red contacts. Then, at around noon again another image popped into mind, Johnnys perfect thick brown hair. I used to play with it for hours, well we watched movies were sitting at the park or even just talking. I've run my fingers through his hair more than any other guys. His hair has always been fluffy and soft. I miss the days I'd mess with his naturally gorgeous hair. I wonder if Dimitri would let be play with his, It won't be the same though, his hairs so short and he uses so much gel. Oh well.
Day three,
Once again normal morning but guess what happened at one, I had a memory flashback. I could hear his voice clear as day. So soft and loving, so sweet and understanding. I started to think back to how he would whisper in my ear song lyrics from our favorite songs, and I'd shutter to the sound of his voice in my ear. It was so delicate, so peaceful. I miss it. Compared to Johnny's voice Dimitri's was not beautiful. His voice sounded kind of harsh.
Day four,
I gave up on trying not to think about Johnny, so instead of waiting when I woke up I thought of something I love about him, his personality. He's sweet, affectionate, charismatic and sympathetic but, stern when he needs to be. When I used to cry and I was with him he'd pick me up and sit me on his lap, he'd talk to me to calm me down, sometimes crack a joke just so I'd laugh. If I was ever so down his jokes couldn't make me laugh he'd just hold me, letting me cry it out on his shoulder, not caring about the eyelinder on his shirt. As he held me he would hum to me, or kiss my head. Then, there is Dimitri, hes not emotional, he's not the kind of guy to hold you well you’re crying or kiss your head and tell you it will be alright.
Day five,
This morning when I woke up I looked in the mirror and for some reason focused on my lips. Sure enough it was because I started to think of Johnnys without noticing it. His pink lips that are soft to the touch. The ones the I used to stare at, wonder about. The ones that kissed my cheek or head. The same lips that parted to release his beautiful voice. I always wanted him to kiss me, not just on the cheek or head but on my own lips. I would think about how his lips would feel on mine. But back to reality, Speaking of lips, Dimitri's are soft but they aren't the same as Johnnys on my cheek, Dimitri's are short and not so sweet.
Day six,
I started thinking. This whole thing is like a complicated math problem that I would have done in high school, some word problem. If X had eyes that could make you melt and Y had eyes that you couldn't connect with witch pair of eyes would have a higher value? If X had thick soft hair and Y had short coarse hair who's hair is of better appeal? If X is sympathetic and Y is callous who is wanted around when someone is sad? If X has soft sweet kisses and Y has soft short kisses whose kisses are wanted? See what I mean. But all of these problems have a solution. It's just not the one I was looking for. They all point to x. If Y equals Dimitri, then X must equal Johnny.
Day one,
Today started off like any other day I got up, did my stuff. At about noon an image popped into my mind. It was not an image that normally would be there without reason, Johnny's beautiful eyes. The ones that outshine everything. They are just so deep and beautiful, you could get lost in them for ever. His perfect eyelashes that accent his eyes. Make them even bolder, even brighter. The eyes that made me melt for so many years. The same eyes that when mad at me would break my heart, or when they were sad would crush me. The eyes that could look at me and just tore me apart for what they were asking for. The same exact eyes that I'd look into daily and tell how I loved them, and they would always be my best friend. His beautiful majestic eyes. Why do they have to torment me, they always have. They are just, so, perfect.
Day two,
Just as yesterday my day started off perfectly normal. At about 10 O'clock I got a call from Dimitri, he said how he was sorry it took him so long to call but he was out of minutes. It was nice to hear his voice. But after thinking back to yesterday I thought about Dimitri's eyes. Did they make me melt like Johnny's did? I don't think they ever did. His eyes were always covered by his red contacts. Then, at around noon again another image popped into mind, Johnnys perfect thick brown hair. I used to play with it for hours, well we watched movies were sitting at the park or even just talking. I've run my fingers through his hair more than any other guys. His hair has always been fluffy and soft. I miss the days I'd mess with his naturally gorgeous hair. I wonder if Dimitri would let be play with his, It won't be the same though, his hairs so short and he uses so much gel. Oh well.
Day three,
Once again normal morning but guess what happened at one, I had a memory flashback. I could hear his voice clear as day. So soft and loving, so sweet and understanding. I started to think back to how he would whisper in my ear song lyrics from our favorite songs, and I'd shutter to the sound of his voice in my ear. It was so delicate, so peaceful. I miss it. Compared to Johnny's voice Dimitri's was not beautiful. His voice sounded kind of harsh.
Day four,
I gave up on trying not to think about Johnny, so instead of waiting when I woke up I thought of something I love about him, his personality. He's sweet, affectionate, charismatic and sympathetic but, stern when he needs to be. When I used to cry and I was with him he'd pick me up and sit me on his lap, he'd talk to me to calm me down, sometimes crack a joke just so I'd laugh. If I was ever so down his jokes couldn't make me laugh he'd just hold me, letting me cry it out on his shoulder, not caring about the eyelinder on his shirt. As he held me he would hum to me, or kiss my head. Then, there is Dimitri, hes not emotional, he's not the kind of guy to hold you well you’re crying or kiss your head and tell you it will be alright.
Day five,
This morning when I woke up I looked in the mirror and for some reason focused on my lips. Sure enough it was because I started to think of Johnnys without noticing it. His pink lips that are soft to the touch. The ones the I used to stare at, wonder about. The ones that kissed my cheek or head. The same lips that parted to release his beautiful voice. I always wanted him to kiss me, not just on the cheek or head but on my own lips. I would think about how his lips would feel on mine. But back to reality, Speaking of lips, Dimitri's are soft but they aren't the same as Johnnys on my cheek, Dimitri's are short and not so sweet.
Day six,
I started thinking. This whole thing is like a complicated math problem that I would have done in high school, some word problem. If X had eyes that could make you melt and Y had eyes that you couldn't connect with witch pair of eyes would have a higher value? If X had thick soft hair and Y had short coarse hair who's hair is of better appeal? If X is sympathetic and Y is callous who is wanted around when someone is sad? If X has soft sweet kisses and Y has soft short kisses whose kisses are wanted? See what I mean. But all of these problems have a solution. It's just not the one I was looking for. They all point to x. If Y equals Dimitri, then X must equal Johnny.
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What do you guys think? Should I continue?