A Mental Sex Change

Walking down off the stage, I made my way over to one of the staff who was passing out water bottles. He handed me one of them and I thanked him before I walked over to Mandy.

“Ok so we have a girl that we’re going to have to entertain today. She is the daughter of the man that owns this stadium, so everyone is depending on us to keep her happy. I was thinking you could help with the entertaining because well I don’t want to be alone with her, and have her find out about me,” I said and she nodded understanding. The rest of the band came over to me and we discussed what our plan of action would be. We knew that she would be backstage somewhere, so we set out to find her.

When we found a girl that looked completely unnatural looking in this place we figured that we had found her. She was talking to one of the staff and she had her back to us. She had platinum blonde hair and had on skinny jeans and a pastel pink chiffon shirt. To complete the look she even had a little dog in her purse. God today was going to be hell.

“Hello,” I said tapping the girl on her shoulder. She held her finger up to me without even looking and continued to talk/ yell at the dude. He looked helpless and about to cower into a corner.

“I was told to wait here to see this band, but the band hasn’t shown up. Fix this or I will get you fired,” She yelled and I tapped her again. “Hang on I’m not done here,” she said still not turning to see me. “And if you think that it’s an empty threat than you have no idea who I am,” she yelled again. I tapped her one last time. “I said one fucking minute,” she yelled at me and turned around. Oh My God.

“Ohmigod it’s Nate Anders from my favorite band. Do you remember me? I’m your biggest fan remember? You even said so yourself,” she squealed and grabbed my hand. This girl was the creeper fan; the one that had sniffed me before when I took a picture with her. How could she be this girl? This girl had blonde hair and a fucking pooch. The other one at least had some still, but you could see that it was the same girl because her facial features were the same. God today was going to suck so much.

“Yeah I remember you, Amber right?” I ask and she nods her head.

“I can’t believe you remember me name. It must mean you love me as much as I love you,” she winked at me and my insides began to shrivel up.

“Maybe it does,” I winked back and turned to my band members flashing them an S.O.S. with my eyes. They held back their giggles and tried to keep a straight face. “So I was thinking that maybe we could all go get something to eat,” I offered looking back at Amber. Her eyes fell when I said all.

“I was thinking that it would just be the two of us,” she said. Shit. I couldn’t be alone with her though, who knows what she might try to do.

“I’d promised the band that I’d take them out to eat with our biggest fan today though,” I said sadly and looked at me band before turning back to her. “I thought that they would love to get to know you as much as I do,” I said and her eyes went wide and a smile went across her face.

“Well when you put it that way it would be terrible to not let them get to know me like you will. I mean I am an amazing person after all,” she said batting her eyelashes at me and my insides felt like they were going to vomit.

“Exactly, so where would you like to eat? I’m sure you know the area better than us,” I smile and she does the same back.

“Well I do know a good French restaurant nearby,” she said and I look at the guys and nod.

“Sounds good I guess,” I said and we all head off to the parking lot where there’s a rental car waiting for us. As we make our way there Amber tries to grab my hand nonchalantly but I pretend that I don’t notice and start making jokes to the guys because that way I can hit them or something to keep my hands away from hers.

When we got to the restaurant we were all seated with odd stares and we just stared back at them. They soon went away and Amber looked sad because of it. We all slid into our chairs and Amber pushed Ethan out of the way so that she could sit by me. She kept trying to grab my legs and stuff and I got so nervous that she might try to grab my crotch that I just excused myself and went to the bathroom. When I got in the bathroom I stared into the mirror looking at myself.

God why did I have to be born as a girl? This would be so much simpler if I were a boy. I was broken out of my thoughts when an old man came into the bathroom. He looked at me strange but walked over to a urinal without a word. I averted my eyes as soon as I heard a zipper drop and I walked out of the bathroom. If there was one thing I didn’t want to see it was an old man penis.

I walked back to the table to see all our food on the table. I went and sat down in my seat and started to eat. I acted as if I never left because I didn’t want any questions to be asked about it. I didn’t have any answers that I could give at the moment with Amber being in the audience because she didn’t want or need to know that I was having trouble with girls because I was one. We talked about random stuff and Amber tried to grope my leg again but I just shrugged her hand off. Eventually we all had eaten and I paid the bill before we all left and got back in the car.

“Was there anything else you wanted to do before we head back the concert and stadium?” I ask everyone. Nobody from the band says anything so I start up the car and start to drive back to the stadium. When we got there we all hopped out of the car.

“What would you like to do now Amber?” I ask looking at her.

“I was hoping we could have some alone time together,” she said trying to sound seductive and gave a wink. My insides vomited everywhere.
“We’ll see about that Amber,” I said in a husky voice. Maybe flirting back wasn’t the best idea but I had no idea how else to get this girl happy without infuriating or saddening. God I was probably screwing myself over here.
“Hey Nate, you promised that you’d help me steal some more alcohol today,” Mandy said and I looked at Amber with a guilty expression. On the inside I was worshiping Mandy for getting me out of this girl’s pubic hair.
“Would you mind if I did this? You could hang with Ethan, Keegan and Craig. I’m sure they’d loved to hang with you for a little while,” I said hopefully. She looked over at Craig and Keegan and then back at me.
“I was hoping to spend this day with you Nate,” Amber said and looked at me sadly. Ugh why does she have to be so stubborn? I look at Mandy and then turned back to Amber.

“If you promise to not tell anyone what we’re doing than we’ll let you tag along,” Mandy said, and Amber looked happier but not completely satisfied. I don’t think I want to know what will satisfy her. I look back to all the guys and wave before the three of us walked into the stadium. Hopefully we can all stick together and I won’t have to deal with Amber alone.

Before we even got to the guys of BVB Mandy was dragged off by one of the Avenged Sevenfold guys. It’s nice that she has people to hang with but I firkin need her right now. I curse out the guy in my mind and continue down the hallway. We made our way to the room with some small talk, but I tried desperately to keep my distance. Even with that she kept coming closer and closer every time I stepped away. Finally we reached the door to BVB’s dressing room.

I knocked and the door was soon opened by a not so thrilled looking Andy. I’m not sure what it is that I’ve done to set him off but it seems that he just really doesn’t like me. It’s obvious that he doesn’t like the fact that I’m standing in front of him, but he also stares straight at Amber. Amber was definitely enjoying the attention, and she hooked her arm around my elbow.

“Is CC here?” I ask Andy and he looks up from Amber to me.

“Yeah, CC there’s people here for you,” Andy says and steps away from the door.

“Who could that possibly be?” CC says in a British old lady accent. When he gets to the door he smiles. “Oh if it isn’t Mr. Kid. What might be the reasoning behind this grand event?” CC asked continuing with the accent.

“We’ve come for the goods,” I say and wink at him, then chuckle.

“Ah I think I’ve got just the stuff,” he winked back and we followed him into the room, and I skillfully unhooked my arm from Amber’s. God hopefully this would get rid of the problem. Maybe she’d want to hang with Black Veil Brides instead of me. God that would be nice.