Triangles

I like being alone, just sat by the riverbank without anyone to bother me. This place is cut off from the town, with only the occasional dog walker strolling by. I can sit here in the silence, toes dipped in the water, all by myself. People are time consuming, greedy and needy little creatures that aren’t worth my time. I’d rather live in a world without them. Animals make better company, because they only hurt to eat or protect. Humans will hurt without a second thought.

I would kill to go back to the time where I was Psycho Echo – being alone all day, watching Slasher movies all night. No one would bother me then; everyone thought I was a serial killer. I’d like that, being a serial killer. I would be able to see what people are really like at their weakest moments with their fate hanging in the balance of one person. Horrors and Slashers can't really show that. Actors can try all they like, but they can never actually show human emotions.

The rain’s coming in, a storm rumbles over the bleak town of Merthyr. It rains a lot here, grey sadness pouring from the sky. It seems to seep into the minds and souls of everyone here. Everyone runs and hides to protect themselves from the misery that is sure to come. I like the rain, I like being free with water dripping from my skin. Rain can express every feeling I've ever felt. Sometimes it's a happy thing that makes people want to dance. Sometimes it glistens through sunlight and is useless at destroying the fun. Other times, it's dark and cold, like the emotions we feel. It brings back all the dark memories and the hopelessness. There's nothing we can do to stop the rain. When it rains, I like to go out on the empty streets and take in all the emotions to feel alive. My hair and clothing sticks to my skin. I feel protected, like the rain is wrapping a cosy blanket around me.

My mind drifts off into the darker areas of the world. When the rain comes, the beautiful little birds will become black crows, squawking death to the world. The dog walkers will become Grimm Reapers and their dogs the hounds of the Baskervilles. The water in which my toes are dipped turns to powerful acid that eats away all nature like a hungry animal. This is when the world becomes mine and nature belongs to me. That's all a dream, but it's how I like it to be.

"Having fun?" A voice asks. Hoping I’m just having an "episode", I glance to my side, hoping to see nothing. Unfortunately, I’m wrong and a bright white mop of gleaming hair sits next to me. Under the hair I'm sure there is a certain Mr. Smith but we'll probably never know until he chooses to show his gleaming hazel orbs.

"I came here to be alone" I reply coldly. Sean's presence can bring light to the darkest days. He's like a candle in the dark. Today is not one of the days he's needed. Yeah I like the little bastard and all but I don't really want to be around him. I'll kill him if he stays too long. I'll drown him in the river and feed his bloated body to the passing dogs. I don't think bleach tastes very nice, though. Ah well, put up or shut up.

"And that's why I came to sit with you" he argues smugly. I growl low in my throat and glare at him. Smartass.

"Then fuck off" I hiss, clenching my fists. I’m loosing my patience now. Sean is just sat there, looking as smug as hell with a cute little Jack Russell in his lap. I'll feed his body to his own dog! Let's see who's laughing then!

"Have you ever asked yourself why you want to be on your own?" He asked. Stupid question! "I mean, does it give you time to think? Space? Anyone hurting you...?"

Gavin. Of course! Why didn’t I realise?!? He wants to talk about Gavin. He’s still obsessed with the idea that I'm weak. I'm stronger now, I don't get upset easily. I've only just started to let Gav call me his girlfriend! It’s very odd, being somebody's girlfriend. Especially Gavin's; he usually gets the hot, pretty ones with the big tits. I think I'd look better hooked onto Sean's arm, or no ones.

"We're fine, Sean. He's just a little controlling. If anything, this is the closest I've been to feeling love for someone" I reply, smiling. Gavin genuinely makes me feel happy. There's no better feeling than waking up on the couch in his arms, a soft kiss and a compliment on his lips. When we're out or his friends are around, he changes and becomes a control freak, wanting me on my best behaviour - to be seen and not heard. Sean’s just pestering, making Gavin loose his temper and let it out on me. "Can you just leave us be?" I ask, feeling quite downhearted.

"I worry about you, Echo. I know you think Gavin is beautiful and perfect and caring but he's not. He doesn't care about you, sweetheart. You're just another lie in the book. I'm sorry to bring you down, but I don't want to be the one to walk behind you picking up the pieces, and I don't want to be the one to convince Gavin you're more than a fuck he can screw as he pleases. You guys are cute together and all but you were pretty much dammed from the day you said hello. Defend him if you want, Echo. I know the truth" Sean answered.

I jump up, my fist hitting him square in the jaw as the rage ran through my veins. How could he say that?!? About his own best friend?!? He knows nothing. Just the lies and labels people make up. Sean can act like Gavin's wingman but trust me the two hardly know each other. Gavin is a kind, sweet hearted person but Sean thinks he's a slut that would fuck anything that moves. I storm off, unable to find the words to express how much I hate him in this moment.

The rain begins to fall again as Sean's voice calls behind me. I run, feeling hot tears form in my eyes. I don't need to cry! Big girls don't cry! I run blindly away from the river, not sure which way I’m really going. There are two, one's straight ahead and goes behind the water factory and the other's a little path thing which is where the dog walkers are. I seem to be on the path. The rain clings to my skin and for once it felt bad. It expresses my mood perfectly.

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms pull me back, holding me close against the body they belong to. I kick and scream, trying in fear and in vain to get away. Why am I crying?!? I don't cry!!! I'm stronger than that babyish habit!

"Echo, I've got you" Sean whispers firmly. I stop struggling and let him hold me. "Please stop crying now, your face is too pretty for tears"

I turn around to face him, burying my head into his slim chest. I want to be alone and want him dead but I want him here to keep me safe. I still can't work out why I’m crying. Maybe it’s what Sean said about Gavin, or maybe inside I know Sean is right. He rubbed my back reassuringly, rain cutting to the bone.

"Let me take you somewhere only we can know" he said with a soft grin. He takes my hand and led me up the steep bank that was now slippery with mud. His little Jack Russell tags along too, yapping at his owner. It’s such a beautiful little creature! The dog...not Sean that is...well yeah maybe Sean...I don't fucking know okay!?!

As we slip beneath the trees, the rain doesn't sting as much. I stop crying and tried to regain my composure slightly. I feel like a right baby, crying over nothing in front of a boy! I must look like some sort of attention whore! We walk in silence for a while, sometimes talking about school or the stupid dog at our feet. The daft thing has walked into a tree about 4 times already!! We stop at a clearing, where the rain still tips it down.

"I came here as a child" Sean explains, leading me on. I follow in silence, feeling unsafe. I’m all alone in the middle of the woods, with a half-wit dog and a blonde guy. That would be the weirdest final moment’s story ever; but these things can't be helped. I’m willing to submit to death at this point anyway. "My younger brother and I almost lived here during the summer" a smile rippled over Sean's face, before fading sadly. "Then he grew up"

I didn't know Sean has a younger brother. He doesn't talk much about himself. I wonder if he’s as happy-go-lucky and innocent as Sean. I bet their parents are great, really happy people. They must really love their children, because Sean is so loving and caring. Parents are something I wish I could experience. I'd like to have someone care for me and teach me all these things that teachers can't teach.

"We played here for hours on end. It was our little home" he explains as we came to a tree. A rickety wooden ladder stood against the tree. "Everything's still there. I won't come here unless I have someone, and I won't tell certain people. Gavin doesn't know about this place. It's a secret. You can know though, I trust you"

We climb the ladder (the dog beneath Sean's arm) to a large tree house, perched on the branches. Sean pulls a key from his pocket and unlocked the door. We scramble inside, into a spacious room. The floor is varnished down and smooth, no rain has ever got inside. There are comfy couches and fluffy pillows scattered around the place. There’s a big box in the corner, presumably filled with childhood toys. Crayons lie dropped on the floor, as though someone had dropped them and ran. No one has been here for ages. Everything has just been abandoned here, never to be used again. It’s sad really, looking upon a once happy childhood.

"Dad made it for us, before he died. He worked real hard on it" Sean sighed. He looked around, a smile playing on his face. I can't begin to imagine all the emotions and memories that are coming back to him. "Look! Here's his picture!" A dusty picture of a thin, healthy man hangs on the wall. He had a thick mop of brown hair on his head. He looks exactly like his son, playful smile and round smiling cheeks. His eyes shone as do Sean's. His boys were in his arms, smiling because they were with their father. "He was making this place bigger for us, and he fell. They reckon it was the shock that killed him more than the injury"

"Sean...I'm sorry..." I whisper, noticing the tears running down his face. He’s smiling, remembering all the happy times with his father. I can't even begin to imagine how Sean must feel - having someone there to love him, but then have them ripped from your life as though their own was nothing.

"He's in a better place now, Echo. He's watching over us with a smile on his face, that's what Mam always says" he laughs half-heartedly. He smiles, wiping away his tears. "Let's watch a movie" he pulled me over to a TV/DVD set in the corner. He sat me down on a bean bag and set up a movie. "They're all kids films cause, y'know...Finding Nemo alright?" I nod eagerly.

We spent the rest of the afternoon snuggled up together, relaxing. The rain is beating down on the window like rocks. For once I feel perfectly safe. I feel like the walls are blocking out my demons and all the awful things. It’s like lying in the arms of an angel - I am safe, no matter what. I warmed up pretty quickly, thanks to Sean's infinite body heat. He’s less fluffy than Gavin, with a lot less muscle. Sean's collarbone makes a nice pillow for my head, despite its razor sharp edge. With my arms wrapped around his neck, I feel totally safe.

"C'mon, best get you back. Gav'll have my neck if you're out with me too late" Sean sighs, switching the telly off. I grumble beneath my breath. I'm sick of being treated like a baby by everyone! "Oh come on! He apparently cares so much about you he'll kill anyone who spends time with you!" He laughs. I sand up and stretch, my bones creaking. God I'm getting old!

We leave the tree house, the rain still trickling from the clouds. Sean took my hand again and we ran through the woods, laughing and talking. We reach the steep bank and we slip down, mud splattering over our black jeans. The rain doesn't feel like black crow declaring death, it doesn't sting like acid and the dogs aren't bloody great hounds anymore. It feels happy, friendly. All because of Sean - he can change the weather with a simple smile. It’s like he is a droplet full of love and sunshine in a world of dark hatred.

We walk along the path behind the water factory, never letting go of each other's hands. I’m fucking freezing by now, I didn’t bring a hoodie with me because it's supposed to be summer. Only in Wales. In America, they call it a Hurricane, in Wales, we call it summer. Fair play, some days can be gorgeous, but then as soon as summer break starts the rain pisses it down as if it didn't over Christmas!
"You're cold" Sean states. I rolled my eyes.

"Nice one, Sherlock" I reply sarcastically. He laughs and pulls his dripping wet Drop Dead sweater over his head, handing it to me with a smile. "Are you sure?" I ask, taking the fabric cautiously. He smiles and nods. I pull the sweater on and find Sean's hand again. Something about his touch makes me feel all warm and cosy inside. I feel wanted, needed. Like Sean is holding onto me in case he looses me. I guess that's why I'm holding onto him.

We walk back to Gavin's home, sighing as he unlocks my hand from his. I look up and meet his eyes, feeling slightly fuzzy inside. I've never felt this way before. He smiles and waved goodbye without saying anything, running off down the street. Damn he forgot his sweater!! Ah well, he's gone. I slip inside, trying to stay as silent as possible. I slip past the front room and almost male it up the stairs when-

"Why are you wearing Sean's jumper?" Gavin calls from the bottom. I stop dead in my tracks and turn around slowly. He doesn't look too pleased.

"He lent me it" I reply simply. It’s true, completely true! He gave me the sweater to keep me warm!

"Stay away from him. He's trouble" he said coldly, stomping back into the front room. My blood boils at his words. Sean's my best friend! He can't hurt a fly for fucks sake!!

"He says the same about you, y'know" I quip, stamping up the stairs to my room. Now I know what it's like to have boys become rivals over you - and it's not a nice feeling at all.