Triangles

"He misses you," Sean informed me, rubbing his fingers through my knotted hair. "He says he hasn't felt alright since. He's had some really bad problems in college and stuff. Doesn't seem to get on as well with people as he did previously."

I didn't really want to think about Gavin. My first few weeks here were agonising. In strange ways, I missed Gav in strange ways, like I missed his piercing blue eyes and the way he spoke to me. Soon it became that those eyes didn't shine quite as bright, and his voice was just a little whisper. Every happy memory was followed by the damming reminder of what he did to me. The feeling of his skin pressed against mine, the feeling of his gentle kisses washed away. It felt like I was breaking away from his dominating control and becoming free again, like I was before I met him.

The same could be said for Sean. I felt guilty about not saying a proper goodbye and not telling him I was sorry for leaving. But one day, it all stopped. His bright fringe dulled a bit in my mind, as did his shining eyes. I didn't need to depend on him to fix me. I made friends to replace the two boys and it felt like I'd moved on and I could completely forget what happened in Merthyr.

I guess you could say I forgot them. I thought about them less and less until they were rarely on my mind. I started to feel less vulnerable and violated. I turned back into my old self in a few ways and changed for the better.

"Do you miss him? Or me?" Sean asked, chuckling sarcastically.

"At first I did. I felt bad about not coming to say goodbye." I admitted softly, nestling even closer to him.

Now I could be with him again, it felt so strange. Like we were meeting for the first time but it felt like we'd known each other for years. I liked the way his arms wrapped around my waist and his fingers combed through my hair. It felt natural, and a part of me began to miss his comforting touch when Gavin used me. "Did you miss me?" I asked quietly. I doubted he did.

He sighed and shifted, so we were facing each other. His eyes were full of sincerity and honesty. He took my hands in his, stroking my knuckles with his thumb as he debated what he was about to say.

"You know when you meet someone and you just know you'll like them straight away?" He asked and I nodded. "It was like that when Mr. what's-his-face paired us in Law. I wanted to go talk to you when I first saw you but I was too awkward to. You wouldn't of taken to me anyway, would you?" He grinned and winked at me. He was right, so I simply smiled, my cheeks turning beetroot red.

"I've missed you so much. You don't know how boring it is listening to Gavin whine on about bullshit and listening to my brother whine on about the police can get. I've missed comforting you and looking after you." He hung his head, turning almost as red as I.

I reached over and brushed some blue hair from his face. A few tears landed in his lap. "Sean, what's wrong?" I asked quietly, shuffling closer towards him. I held his chin and forced him to look at me. I could feel his breath tickling my face slightly.

"I just... miss you so much!" He cried.

Suddenly his lips were on mine, softly massaging mine. I sat there in shock, unable to register what was happening. Sean Smith was kissing me. That feeling of desire and the will to be normal overwhelmed me, and suddenly my hands were at his waist, stroking him softly. All the memories of his smile and our times together, I was crying too. It felt natural and loving. So different to Gavin's kisses. Sean tugged me closer and lifted me onto his lap, his hand falling gently on my thigh. It didn't feel threatening or sexual at all. He was so gentle with me, like he understood the impact Gavin had on me. He respected that, he knew I wasn't comfortable yet.

"I came here to find you." He whispered as he separated. He stroked my cheek softly.

"Well you found me now, Sean. And everything will be alright."