In Need

Sean's words played over in my head as I stood outside of Starbucks, smoking and shivering against the harsh winter wind while I waited for Evie. I'd received a text from her the night before, letting me know she was back in town and we'd made plans to meet. I spotted her crossing the street a few feet a head and I watched behind my sunglasses as she approached me.
"Hello," She murmured, looking at me with her pretty blue eyes while the wind whipped her long, curly hair around her face. She wore a red parka and light wash jeans with a black pair of boots.

"Hi," I responded feeling awkward, thinking of the picture's I'd seen and the things I'd read.

"Did you have a nice holiday?" She inquired.

"Yeah, it was quiet," I replied, "You?"

"It was nice to see my grandmother," She said with a small, close lipped smile.

"Well," I started, "I didn't drag ya out here for small talk," I decided to cut to the chase and get myself out of the snow, "Robin has a modeling job for you, if you want it."

"Oh," She chewed her lower lip, "Look, Norman, I-"

"He's got no hard feelings about what happened, he said if you want the job, it's yours and to call him tomorrow with your answer," I held out Robin's business card and she took it with trembling fingers.

"I'm sorry, about the way I was acting," She apologized, "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"It's fine," I said curtly.

"Do you want to get together later this week? I have a lot of events coming up, but maybe new years day we can do something?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, Evie," I replied.

You don't need that, man. That's bad news. Sean - the voice of reason - was echoing loud and clear in my mind.

"Robin doesn't have hard feelings," She spoke quietly, playing with the business card, "Do you?"

"No," I said, pulling another cigarette from my pack and lighting it. Evie eyed me skeptically and I took a drag.

"Everything with us was going good until," She paused, a light blush creeping over her face, "That day at Robins. I understand if you're still mad at me, and I'm sorry." I gritted my teeth at her apologizing again, wanting to show her what I'd found online.

"It's cool," I managed.

"So you just...don't want to see me anymore?" She asked with a look of hurt shadowing her features.

"I don't think it's a good idea for us to see each other," I replied, running a hand through my messy hair.

"Okay," She nodded, trying to tuck her hair behind her ears, despite the wind whipping it around her face.

"You ever google yourself, Evie?" I asked, my anger bubbling at her ignorance.

"No," She said, looking confused, "I mean, not recently. Why?" I pulled my phone out and opened the page I'd shown Sean. Her eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise, she stepped back looking at me with questioning eyes, "I-"

"Yeah," I nodded, "You need to figure out who the fuck you are Evie," I shoved my phone back in the pocket of my coat. I exhaled heavily, "Good luck with Robin, he'll take care of your career." She stood silently as I turned and walked away; I could feel her watching me, I didn't want to leave her standing there on the sidewalk, but what else could I have done?


"Norman," I called, not loud enough for him to hear me. He flipped his hood up and crossed the street, heading in the direction of his home. Embarrassment and shame settled over me like a lead cloak as I looked down at the business card in my hand.

That night after calling Robin and making an appointment to see him the following morning, I sat on the floor of my walk in closet, surrounded by dresses, shoes, and handbags, re-evaluating my life as I made my way through a bottle of moscato.

I'm sorry and embarrassed you found that. I understand why you don't want to talk to me anymore. I wish you all the best, Norman.

I stuffed some of the dresses into a garbage bag, bunching up the expensive garments in a way I could've never imagined. I'd upset a lot of people when I'd called and canceled their bookings with me, but Norman had been right. I needed to figure myself out.